[Ag-eq] {Spam?} The BlanchRanch Bulletin for October 2016

[Jewel]

I was, happily, sitting here, a few nights ago, playing my game, when Apple broke in and announced 
that
there would be an update installed on my phone at some ungodly hour the following morning but if I 
had my
phone connected to the power, Apple would do it, all on its own, so my rest need not be interrupted.
I thought that Apple was planning to install an updated version of iAssociate, which was the game I
was playing, so I did as I was bid and when I turned the phone on in the  morning, I was instructed 
to
"place finger", "place finger where or on what?" was my query to which there was no reply,  so I 
placed my
finger on the home button and the phone responded with a buzz.  "Lift finger" was the next
instruction, and this went on for hours:  with my placing my finger and then lifting it.  I
exaggerate!   I am sure that it was a minute or two short of an hour or so, then I got the message:
"Change grip;  photo shows person holding the phone in the right hand with thumb on home button.
For crying out loud, if it wanted me to place my thumb on the home button, why did it say "Place *
finger"?
Anyway, after placing my * thumb on the home button, I discovered that what I had been, unknowingly,
setting up was touch id, which is the very last thing I want, and then it came to entering a
passcode, which seems to be different to a password.
However, after applying the mighty Blanch brain to the question, I worked out that it was a 4/6 
digit number that was being

asked for, so, to this end, I typed in a string of digits, but, when I went to enter it so as to be 
able to get out of the

setup screen and to settings to disable the nonsense, it seems that the string of digits I had 
entered differed, markedly,

to the string of digits I had cemented in the mighty aforementioned.
I tried every method known to mankind to get around this anti-theft lock, but I couldn't which, of 
course, is just what it

should be because if one could get around it, what would be its use?  It would be akin to having an 
impregnable safe and

then leaving the key in the lock.
My tame computer expert put on his Apple iPhone hat and as he uses a Samsung Galaxy, is not that of 
an * expert, who said

that he would have a look at it and see what he could do.
I left the phone out in the mailbox for Cody to collect, but when Pearl, my homehelp, came in a 
little while later, she

said that, in front of the hone, there was a small blue egg with white spots.
I am prepared to take an oath that there was no egg in the mailbox when I placed the phone there? 
What bird lays a small

blue egg with white spots on it and, to boot,  in a bare metal mailbox?
There is a male blackbird around here who I swear, has befriended me because he is wherever I am, 
and seems to fly from

perch to perch, following me as I move around the section.
Did he pick up an egg out of his mate's nest and put it in the mailbox as a  gift?  after I had left 
the phone out there!

or is what I have always believed was a usb slot in the bottom of the phone, in reality,  an 
ovipossitor  for the long-

believed-to-be-extinct fiercesome Phonosaurus Maximus?
Several hours later:  Sad  to report the long-believed-to-be-extinct Phonosaurus Maximus is, no 
longer, the long-believed-

extinct Phonosaurus Maximus but is now the quite-definitely-extinct Phonosaurus Maximus and the 
final blow to its existence

was brought about in this fashion.
The mail person arrived at my mailbox bearing a parcel from the United States of America which, by 
employing much artefice

and subterfuge, I had, eventually, got out of the aforesaid to my address in God's Own, and once 
having arrived at my

mailbox, the mail person had then dumped the parcel right on top of the precious egg!  See how easy 
it is to annihilate a

species!!
Now, leaving the world of locked iPhones etc, let me tell you about some of Guideon's goings-on.
I was standing at the table getting his dinner ready, when the table began to shake!  *** EARTHQUAKE 
*** was my first

thought, but then it struck me that the rest of the wooden house wasn't creaking as one would expect 
it to do in an

earthquake and the shaking seemed to be going on for a, prodigiously, long time and was very 
regular, and then another

thought struck me, and I reached to where my PowerFit machine is which is on the floor at the end of 
the table, and there

was Guideon, having turned it on, happily bouncing up and down on it.  He loves the machine and does 
seem to know just

where to put his paw to start it going.
I was listening to The Chaser, Australia" this morning and one of the questions was:  "In one of 
Juliette's speeches in

Romeo and Juliette, she says "Romeo, Oh Romeo!  wherefore are thou!"  what does wherefore mean?" 
Aloud I said "where are

you?"  and Guideon pushed his nose into my hand, obviously saying to me, "Here I am!".

Well, I think that that is all for this BRB.

             Jewel