[Ag-eq] Completely unrelated to ag or eq

[Jewel]

Apart from the recent posts on apples, the traffic flow on this list has been low to nil,  so I 
thought that I would send you a little cautionary tale that Deslie, my sister sent me yesterday.
As I so often do, I have * improved it a little, but my use of the word * improvement is relative to 
the user and others are free to disagree, if, that is, they have the nerve to do so!

           Jewel



Cautionary tale begins:
From: Deslie Blanch

Sent: Tuesday, September 05, 2017 8:10 PM

Subject: ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND








Subject: ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND
To:



TRUE STORY

ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND




It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, there former standard of housekeeping 
tends to slip!
When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse 
than an oversensitive woman.


 My name is Richard Head! my * friends call me:  well!  you know what my * friends? call me!  and I 
still call them * friends!  I must be mad!!  not forgetting my sainted parents:  they have a lot to 
answer for!



Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife whose name is:  , well never mind!  If I want 
anything, I just yell "Hey You!" and she comes running or should I amend that and say that she * did 
come running, but since my retirement, I have noticed a considerable lapse in time between my shout 
and her, I can give it no more descriptive word than reluctant response!  !


When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for H Y to get a full-time job, along with her 
part-time one, both for extra income and for the health benefits that I:  ahum  cough cough: !  we 
we needed.




Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home 
from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work Although she knows how hungry I am, 
she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell 
at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table.




I generally have lunch each day in the Men's Grill at the Golf Club, so eating out is not an option 
in the evening. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door.  She used to do the dishes 
as soon as we finished eating. But now, it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several 
hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that 
they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to 
get them done, before she goes to bed.




Another symptom of aging is complaining! For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to 
find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or 
worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two, or even three 
days. That way, she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now 
and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong 
points.




When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break, 
when she was only half-finished mowing the front lawn. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man... 
I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a 
while. And, as  she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me, too.




I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support the wife.  I'm not saying that showing 
this much patience & consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it 
impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, 
guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this 
article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile.  After all, we are put on this earth 
to help each other.




EDITOR'S NOTE:
The writer died suddenly on September 1st  of a perforated rectum.


The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf 
club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing, and a sledge hammer laying 
nearby.




His wife was arrested and charged with murder...




The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that the old 
bastard , somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.




A hole in one, so to speak!!