[Ag-eq] Completely unrelated to ag or eq

Thu Sep 7 12:58:42 UTC 2017

Hello Jewel,

I love your story! Wonderful! How true.

JODY

thunderwalker321 at gmail.com 

"What's within you is stronger than what's in your way."  NO BARRIERS  Erik Weihenmayer

> On Sep 6, 2017, at 9:31 PM, Nella Foster via Ag-eq <ag-eq at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> 
> Jewel thanks for the laugh.
> 
> I love this.
> 
> Nella
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Ag-eq [mailto:ag-eq-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jewel via Ag-eq
> Sent: Wednesday, September 06, 2017 8:12 PM
> To: Agricultural and Equestrean Division List
> Cc: Jewel
> Subject: [Ag-eq] Completely unrelated to ag or eq
> 
> Apart from the recent posts on apples, the traffic flow on this list has
> been low to nil,  so I thought that I would send you a little cautionary
> tale that Deslie, my sister sent me yesterday.
> As I so often do, I have * improved it a little, but my use of the word *
> improvement is relative to the user and others are free to disagree, if,
> that is, they have the nerve to do so!
> 
>           Jewel
> 
> 
> 
> Cautionary tale begins:
> From: Deslie Blanch
> 
> Sent: Tuesday, September 05, 2017 8:10 PM
> 
> Subject: ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Subject: ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND
> To:
> 
> 
> 
> TRUE STORY
> 
> ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND
> 
> 
> 
> 
> It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, there former
> standard of housekeeping tends to slip!
> When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and
> there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.
> 
> 
> My name is Richard Head! my * friends call me:  well!  you know what my *
> friends? call me!  and I still call them * friends!  I must be mad!!  not
> forgetting my sainted parents:  they have a lot to answer for!
> 
> 
> 
> Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife whose name is:  ,
> well never mind!  If I want anything, I just yell "Hey You!" and she comes
> running or should I amend that and say that she * did come running, but
> since my retirement, I have noticed a considerable lapse in time between my
> shout and her, I can give it no more descriptive word than reluctant
> response!  !
> 
> 
> When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for H Y to get a
> full-time job, along with her part-time one, both for extra income and for
> the health benefits that I:  ahum  cough cough: !  we we needed.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her
> age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home
> from work Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has
> to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at
> her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets
> dinner on the table.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I generally have lunch each day in the Men's Grill at the Golf Club, so
> eating out is not an option in the evening. I'm ready for some home-cooked
> grub when I hit that door.  She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished
> eating. But now, it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several
> hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several
> times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really
> appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done, before
> she goes to bed.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Another symptom of aging is complaining! For example, she will say that it
> is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch
> hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer
> encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two, or even three days.
> That way, she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing
> lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I
> mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She
> had to take a break, when she was only half-finished mowing the front lawn.
> I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man... 
> I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed
> lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as  she is making one for herself,
> she may as well make one for me, too.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support the wife.  I'm
> not saying that showing this much patience & consideration is easy. Many men
> will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better
> than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, guys, even
> if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife
> because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well
> worthwhile.  After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> EDITOR'S NOTE:
> The writer died suddenly on September 1st  of a perforated rectum.
> 
> 
> The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big
> Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of
> grip showing, and a sledge hammer laying nearby.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> His wife was arrested and charged with murder...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting
> her defense that the old bastard , somehow without looking, accidentally sat
> down on his golf club.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> A hole in one, so to speak!!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
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