[Ag-eq] Completely unrelated to ag or eq

[Nella Foster]

I've shared it with a couple of friends and everyone thinks it's funny.

Nella


-----Original Message-----
From: Ag-eq [mailto:ag-eq-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of dogwood farm via
Ag-eq
Sent: Friday, September 08, 2017 9:15 AM
To: Agricultural and Equestrean Division List
Cc: dogwood farm
Subject: Re: [Ag-eq] Completely unrelated to ag or eq

Funny, Funny, funny!!!  I read this to my husband and he couldn't stop
laughing.

Susan
dogwoodfarm62 at gmail.com

On 9/7/17, Jody ianuzzi via Ag-eq <ag-eq at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> Hello Jewel,
>
> I love your story! Wonderful! How true.
>
> JODY
>
> thunderwalker321 at gmail.com
>
> "What's within you is stronger than what's in your way."  NO BARRIERS  
> Erik Weihenmayer
>
>> On Sep 6, 2017, at 9:31 PM, Nella Foster via Ag-eq <ag-eq at nfbnet.org>
>> wrote:
>>
>>
>> Jewel thanks for the laugh.
>>
>> I love this.
>>
>> Nella
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Ag-eq [mailto:ag-eq-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jewel via 
>> Ag-eq
>> Sent: Wednesday, September 06, 2017 8:12 PM
>> To: Agricultural and Equestrean Division List
>> Cc: Jewel
>> Subject: [Ag-eq] Completely unrelated to ag or eq
>>
>> Apart from the recent posts on apples, the traffic flow on this list 
>> has been low to nil,  so I thought that I would send you a little 
>> cautionary tale that Deslie, my sister sent me yesterday.
>> As I so often do, I have * improved it a little, but my use of the 
>> word * improvement is relative to the user and others are free to 
>> disagree, if, that is, they have the nerve to do so!
>>
>>           Jewel
>>
>>
>>
>> Cautionary tale begins:
>> From: Deslie Blanch
>>
>> Sent: Tuesday, September 05, 2017 8:10 PM
>>
>> Subject: ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Subject: ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND
>> To:
>>
>>
>>
>> TRUE STORY
>>
>> ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, there 
>> former standard of housekeeping tends to slip!
>> When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are 
>> oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.
>>
>>
>> My name is Richard Head! my * friends call me:  well!  you know what 
>> my * friends? call me!  and I still call them * friends!  I must be 
>> mad!!  not forgetting my sainted parents:  they have a lot to answer for!
>>
>>
>>
>> Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife whose name is:  
>> , well never mind!  If I want anything, I just yell "Hey You!" and 
>> she comes running or should I amend that and say that she * did come 
>> running, but since my retirement, I have noticed a considerable lapse 
>> in time between my shout and her, I can give it no more descriptive 
>> word than reluctant response!  !
>>
>>
>> When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for H Y to get a 
>> full-time job, along with her part-time one, both for extra income 
>> and for the health benefits that I:  ahum  cough cough: !  we we 
>> needed.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to 
>> show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same 
>> time she gets home from work Although she knows how hungry I am, she 
>> almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she 
>> starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her 
>> time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> I generally have lunch each day in the Men's Grill at the Golf Club, 
>> so eating out is not an option in the evening. I'm ready for some 
>> home-cooked grub when I hit that door.  She used to do the dishes as 
>> soon as we finished eating. But now, it's not unusual for them to sit 
>> on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by 
>> diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they 
>> won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it 
>> does seem to motivate her to get them done, before she goes to bed.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Another symptom of aging is complaining! For example, she will say 
>> that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills 
>> during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so 
>> I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out 
>> over two, or even three days.
>> That way, she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that 
>> missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you 
>> know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods.
>> She
>> had to take a break, when she was only half-finished mowing the front 
>> lawn.
>> I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man...
>> I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed 
>> lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as  she is making one for 
>> herself, she may as well make one for me, too.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support the wife.
>> I'm
>> not saying that showing this much patience & consideration is easy. 
>> Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody 
>> knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. 
>> However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less 
>> criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider 
>> that writing it was well worthwhile.  After all, we are put on this 
>> earth to help each other.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> EDITOR'S NOTE:
>> The writer died suddenly on September 1st  of a perforated rectum.
>>
>>
>> The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 
>> 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with 
>> barely 5 inches of grip showing, and a sledge hammer laying nearby.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> His wife was arrested and charged with murder...
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, 
>> accepting her defense that the old bastard , somehow without looking, 
>> accidentally sat down on his golf club.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> A hole in one, so to speak!!
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
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>
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