[AG-EQ] The latest on that black hound of mine

[Jewel]

I have read a list of "mind games" that a dog can play, if it has sufficient craftiness, ergo, 
wickedness in its makeup, and I am sorry to say that mine has a large quantity of both, on the human 
with whom its shares it den.
I have, as is my wont, put it in Blanchese.
"When that person comes home after having left his "best friend" alone and palely loitering and 
kicking its heels for the better part of the day while such person is out and about enjoying 
himself, doing what?  well I am only the dog whose opinion was not sought:  BIG  MISTAKE!!!
pretend that you have done something so bad that it can't be written about.  Creep around belly to 
ground, ears clapped against the side of your head and keep your eyes averted.  Whatever else you 
do,  DON'T  LOOK  AT  HIM!!!  He might detect the twinkle and, therefore, smell a rat!!!
He will think the worst and set off on a search of the den to find out what this dreadful thing is 
that you have done!
Of course, he finds nothing as you have been the epitome of saintliness all day.
Well!  here endith that imaginary mind game which is not as imaginary as you might imagine.
Before I embark on the story, let me explain, for those who don't know, that Guideon has a 
well-developed sense of * humour or what he likes to think is * humour:  others have a different 
view of what it is:  and is well aware that I can't see him and takes full advantage of this 
knowledge. Dogs sinless angels?  don't believe a word of it!  After living with humans for 40/50 
thousand years, they must have absorbed some of our less charming vices and Guideon, though I love 
him very much, is a shining example of such and is no better than the rest, and, possibly, worse 
than many!
Last Thursday afternoonwhen Pearl, my homehelp was here, I was busy out in the backyard and Guideon 
was helping me by fetching my balance stick from wherever I had left it.
All was well and I cane in having, I thought, left a dog that was very pleased with himself.
However, this all changed that evening when I opened the door, expecting Guideon to come in, but he 
didn't.
Where could he be?  After some dreadful incidents of him escaping from the yard and, literally, 
eating my sheep where they stood, I have, to the best of my ability and that of others, made the 
yard as secure as Sing Sing prison, but prisoners have been known to escape from Sing Sing, so I can 
never be 200% certain, but, surely, 100% is good enough!.
I rang Pearl and she said that when she left at 5 o'clock, Guideon was standing on the inside of the 
gate.
I called and called but he didn't come, though as I looked about, I was pretty certain that I could 
hear faint traces of movement.
In the past, if he thinks that he has done something wrong:  or is he playing that mind game I 
mentioned some time ago, he has done this, following me around without making any sound while 
keeping just beyond arms length, but he had done nothing wrong and we had parted company on the best 
of terms.
I kept opening the back door expecting to find him waiting on the step, but no!  time passed, and I 
didn't.
However, eventually, with his dinner bowl in my hand, I did, so I put it down, and closed the door.
When I opened the door again, it was as before:  not a sign of the blighter, so I went to bed:  I 
couldn't do much more than I had done.
In the morning:  that is:  yesterday, I opened the door, fully expecting to find him on the step: 
how much longer could this nonsense go on?  STILL  NO Guideon, but I was still sure that I could 
hear faint sounds of movement.
I left the door open, and, finally, he came in and got into his bedbox.
All these shinannigans were him playing his sophisticated version of the mind game.
Here I must admit that it appears that I am not the most rapid of learners, for, if I had been, I 
would have put a bell collar on him yonks ago, and that, I have now done.
Guideon did give the new set up one experimental try by sneaking away when I called him, but the 
bell clanged, and when he saw me look in that direction, he knew that the game was up!!!

       Jewel