[blindkid] new parents with some questions

[Barbara Hammel]

As far as the toy issue, we adopted twins at 3 years of age from China. 
Neither knew the first thing about toys.  It took Paul about two weeks to 
discover the toy box but all he'd do was throw them out and the was the end. 
We have all toys that make sounds so when he discovered he could make them 
do something, he started sittind down with them.  It took over a month for 
him to work through that.  Jesse, on the other hand, would just throw the 
toys away so we put him in a carseat box with nonelectronic toys that made 
sounds.  In fact, that box was the only place he was happy for about two 
months.  He still doesn't really play with them as much as self-stim with 
them--chewing, licking, etc.
Paul was affectionate from day one but Jesse took lots of encouraging.
And I'm so glad you made it back before all that hullabaloo.  Were you even 
in Mumbai?
Barbara


--------------------------------------------------
From: "Jason Fayre" <jfayre at gmail.com>
Sent: Thursday, November 27, 2008 3:47 PM
To: <blparent at nfbnet.org>; <blindkid at nfbnet.org>
Subject: [blindkid] new parents with some questions

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> Hello everyone,
> I am posting this to both the blind parents list and the parents of
> blind children list, so I apologize for the cross-post.
>
> I am blind.  My wife and I just returned from India with our adopted
> son.  He is 5 years old and was born without eyes.  Unfortunately, he
> was abandoned and lived in an orphanage for at least 3 years, maybe
> more.  So, we are looking at some fairly significant delays.  For
> example, he is currently not speaking at all.  He will mimic language,
> which is a good start though.  He is also still in diapers.  He will not
> indicate when he is wet.
>  In observing and interacting with him over the past 5-6 days, I do
> have some questions.  This is our first child, so some of these
> questions may be obvious to experienced parents:
>
> 1.  self-stimulation:  He is in motion almost constantly.  If he is
> standing up, he rocks side to side and back and forth.  If he is sitting
> down, he also rocks almost constantly.  Due to the lack of attention he
> received in the orphanage, he needs to rock himself to sleep at night.
> Does anyone have any ideas to help him overcome this?
>
> 2.  somewhat frantic or manic behavior at nap or bed times:  He has
> quite a bit of trouble getting to sleep during nap time or at bed time.
> He will attempt to fall asleep, and then begin laughing, rocking very
> vigerously and sometimes mouthing various objects.  This is all of the
> same self stimulation, but he seems to get much more agitated at sleep
> time.  The sad part is, due to neglect in the orphanage, he doesn't seem
> to respond at all to one of us holding him, or trying to comfort him.  I
> am honestly not sure how to handle this.  I don't want to just leave him
> in his room.  He will get up out of bed and start walking around.  Do I
> pick him up and put him back in his bed, or just let him work it out on
> his own.
>
>
> 3.  playing:  He does not seem to have much of a concept of toys.  He
> had one toy that he liked at the orphanage, which was a baby rattle.  We
> have lots of toys here for him, but I am not sure how to introduce the
> concept of playing to him.  Most of the time, he seems content to sit
> down and rock.  If you give him something to play with, he will most
> often throw it down.
>
> 4.  School:   I am not sure how to handle getting him into school.  As I
> mentioned earlier, he is 5, but acts more like a 1-2 year old.  I know
> he could benefit from the services in the public schools such as
> ocupational therapy and speech/language therapy.  I'm not sure weather
> to try and start some of that now, or wait until the fall.  I am not a
> huge fan of home schooling.
>
>
>
> I know I will have more questions, but thats it for now.  Any help would
> be greatly apreciated.  We're feeling a bit like a fish out of water at
> this point.
>
>
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