[blindkid] Special child

Sun Dec 14 15:23:24 UTC 2008

Melissa:

I suspect that the story you and Jan tell strikes a chord with many of the blind persons lurking (albeit not always so quietly) on this list. It certainly does with me.

I started out in regular nursery school, kindergarten and first grade public schools in Portland, Oregon. I was pretty-much integrated with the other students and did everything they did until I was in first grade. Even here, I was not treated special for the most part. But there were a few times when my accomplishments were made much of. I, of course, did not realize the potential harm in this until much later. Fortunately, it didn't go overboard. I write this only because it serves to point out a possibly negative aspect of something that TVI's and parents are often praised for: putting braille on everything and the rendering of cartoon characters in paper mache so I could feel them. For instance, when my classmates drew or had pictures of Spot and Muff (Dick and Jane's dog and cat) on the bulletin board with sayings coming out of their mouths, I had three-dimensional paper mache versions of them on the board with the same thing coming out of their mouths in braille. And no
  one thought twice about it. Insofar as I am aware, there was no great consulting team; the first grade teacher did it because she had imagination and thought it a good idea. She had common sense. As I recall, I did most of the brailling for the sayings and the TVI may have done a bit of it. I was taken out of class for a period or so for braille instruction from the TVI. Incidentally, there were only two (yes, two), for all of Portland. This was before the program for the blind kids was ramped up because of the RLF/ROP wave of the 1940's and 1950's.

I write this merely to point out that even something like this that one would think would raise awareness of blindness and integrate the blind child can give him or her attention that may or may not be appropriate. I'm not saying this sort of thing shouldn't be done; I merely point out that even good, imaginative ideas can have their down sides.

Then we moved to Vancouver, Washington, and I attended the Washington State School for the Blind (WSSB). Back then, it was a rather cruel, David Copperfield sort of place (it is no longer; it's one of the best schools in the country because of the work of NFB). I wasn't special there; I did learn invaluable skills including braille music (but not the use of the cane; canes weren't given to blind kids till they were teenagers back then). Nevertheless, we were paraded around to all the Lions conventions, giving concerts for them and for the state legislature. We just thought it a pain in the posterior back then but now I know it was to show us off and garner larger financial support and larger state appropriations.

And I know of a ham operator at the Missouri school for the blind who said that once per year, they had "Lions Night" when they'd operate the station while troops of Lions came through, marveling at the great thing they had done while the blind ham students were expected to show how greatful they were for the generosity of their benefactors who had donated the money to set up the station. Naturally, the kids hated it.

This sort of thing scars for life. If some of you parents wonder at the vehemence with which some of us write, just try to put yourselves in our places and imagine how you'd deal with these indignities which go unrecognized because they are perpretrated upon a minority (the blind) who are expected to be different (either especially gifted or absolutely clueless by virtue of their blindness) and all done not in the name of cruelty or hatred, but, rather, with kindness and the best of intentions. I could go on but you get the point.

Mike Freeman, President
NFB of Washington

----- Original Message -----
From: "melissa  Green" <graduate56 at juno.com>
To: "'Ationfbnet Blind Kid Mailing List, \(for parents of blind chn\]was <blindkid at nfbnet.org>
Date: Saturday, Dec 13, 2008 23:03:30
Subject: Re: [blkid] Special child

>
>
> I was refraining from posting on this topic.
> But here I go.
> I was one of the few blind children to attend the newark public schools in new
> jersey.  I was the only blind child in my neighborhood school.  The teachers
> would treat me  as if I was special and amazing.  I remember one time during a
> teach/parent night, I had to show the parents how I could find my chair in the
> music room.  I remember everyone aplauding me.  At five I was a little
> imbarrassed.
> As I got older, if someone from the state was coming, I was supposedly the
> student that needed to be shown off.  Even the teacher of blind students
> practiced this same stuff.  Then when the state wasn't around, I was supposed to
> be quote "just like everybody else."  Which also meant that I was supposed to be
> paddled for questioning my mother about my blindness, of course that was being
> like "everybody else."
> My family taught me that yes, I was special because of who I am and what I can
> do.
> I wasn't special because of my blindness.  My mom had expectations for me that
> she had for my older brother.  I think that we should wonder about people's
> definition of amazing, and or special when talking about blind people, or any
> other disabled person that does things like a normal person in society.  
> 
> Best regards,
> Sincerely,
> Melissa R. Green
> Hold on to your dream and it shall be well with you.
> 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blindkid-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindkid-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
> Of Jan Wright
> Sent: Thursday, November 20, 2008 2:45 PM
> To: blindkid at nfbnet.org
> Subject: [blkid] Special child
> 
> 
> I think that this discussion is an important one.
> 
> I have refrained from responding because Carrie did a good  job at expressing my
> views. 
> 
>     While growing up, I always had people in my family who would say that I was
> "special" and "Amazing." This made me feel quite uncomfortable and yielded much
> animosity from my siblings. In fact, I will say that it was a barrier to
> interacting with my own sighted peers. I shrunk from this attention into my
> braille and talkingbooks.  
> 
>     The residential school that I attended did not help: I felt as if I was
> always put on display for the many tours that frequented the school. I realize
> that they needed to elicit donations. But, I will tell you that to this day, I
> dislike being in the limelight because it feels like I am on display.  
> 
> It seemed that the public only had two responses for me. Either they ignored me
> completely which also meant that they did not focus on my blindness, but they
> did not even recognize my existance.  or they thought that I was "amazing." But,
> this "Amazing" quality did not translate into real abilities. Often, I get the
> statement from society that I am "Amazing," because I am raising four children.
> Yet, these same people would not feel comfortable with me watching their own
> child. And, I was always "Special,"  but not "Special enough" to warrant true
> friendship and have an opinion passed the blindness issues. Whether in the pit
> or on the pedestal, your blind child wants to be treated like every other  child
> and when you do this, you teach society to do it, as well. Also, it allows your
> child to develop their gifts and be proud of being "special" for the wonderful
> gifts that they exhibit. Thus, their family, their friends and society does not
> define them by their disability. And, their gifts are not measured with a
> disabled measuring stick, but one that measures all gifts.
> 
>      
> 
>   
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
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