[blindkid] When your child realizes she's different....(Lorelei Clark)
Lorelei Clark
loreleisonya at yahoo.com
Tue Nov 18 19:34:37 UTC 2008
Stephanie,
My son is turning nine this week and at about the same age as your daughter he was struggling with not being the same as his peers. He would say things like he wished his eyes worked and that it wasn't fair.
I never did much externally (inside, I felt like I was dying a little) except try to focus on the positive aspects of being blind. For instance, my son is an avid reader and I would try to point out things like when he would read in the dark or in the car. My father, who is an avid reader as well, would also tell him how jealous he was that he could read his book in bed or in a dark car.
I also tried to involve him in more activities with other blind children (I realize that this is not possible everywhere but in Southern California it was fairly easy). At the time he was the only blind child at his school and has since been mainstreamed into another public school that has 10 blind children so now he gets the best of both worlds.
While I tried to get more involved in the blind community, I also seeked areas of interest for him that he could relate better to his peers. For instance, I remember that so many of the kids he knew where into trading cards (Pokemon, etc.) and other activities that were of very little interest to him. I ended up finding out that he was completely enthralled with professional sports. Since getting him all of the schedules in Braille, he now watches the games, discusses stats and picks with his friends. For us, sports was the way he better related to his sighted peers with a hobby on common ground.
Eventually he came to accept that while some things may be more difficult, in other areas he can have an advantage (goalball, etc.). In recent years, he no longer states things like he wished he could see or anything along those lines. It could just be a phase but in the meantime I would try to accentuate the positive.
Best of luck,
Lorelei Clark
--- On Tue, 11/18/08, blindkid-request at nfbnet.org <blindkid-request at nfbnet.org> wrote:
From: blindkid-request at nfbnet.org <blindkid-request at nfbnet.org>
Subject: blindkid Digest, Vol 55, Issue 19
To: blindkid at nfbnet.org
Date: Tuesday, November 18, 2008, 10:00 AM
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Today's Topics:
1. Re: talking scale (Carol Castellano)
2. When your child realizes she's different....
(Kieszak, Stephanie (CDC/CCEHIP/NCEH))
3. Re: When your child realizes she's different.... (Amy Ruell)
4. Re: When your child realizes she's different.... (kala hjelle)
5. Re: When your child realizes she's different.... (Mindy Lipsey)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Message: 1
Date: Mon, 17 Nov 2008 14:51:33 -0500
From: Carol Castellano <blindchildren at verizon.net>
Subject: Re: [blindkid] talking scale
To: "NFBnet Blind Kid Mailing List, \(for parents of blind
children\)"
<blindkid at nfbnet.org>
Message-ID:
<mailman.62.1227031206.10421.blindkid_nfbnet.org at nfbnet.org>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"; format=flowed
Thanks to all for your ideas.
Carol
At 09:56 PM 11/16/2008, you wrote:
>We tried talking scales but had trouble with accuracy on them. We instead
>went with your classic doctors office scale with the moveable weights.
You
>can feel the markings and determine the weight. It takes up a
>little more room
>but never needs batteries.
>
>Dave Hammel
>**************Get the Moviefone Toolbar. Showtimes, theaters, movie news
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Message: 2
Date: Tue, 18 Nov 2008 11:45:09 -0500
From: "Kieszak, Stephanie (CDC/CCEHIP/NCEH)" <sek7 at cdc.gov>
Subject: [blindkid] When your child realizes she's different....
To: blindkid at nfbnet.org
Message-ID:
<296CE4A25AA1144580A34323A888857D01B94AAA at LTA3VS001.ees.hhs.gov>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
My 6 year old daughter has recently started talking a lot about being
blind and about her "acrylic" eyes, as she refers to her prosthetics.
The other night, she said to me "Mommy, can you get me something so I
can see with my eyes instead of with my hands?" I felt like someone had
plunged a knife into my heart! For you parents of older kids, was there
anything you ever said or did that helped when your child seemed to be
feeling sad or angry about being blind? I tried reminding her of all
the other blind people we know who also don't see things with their eyes
but that didn't seem to help. Any suggestions would be greatly
appreciated!
Stephanie
------------------------------
Message: 3
Date: Tue, 18 Nov 2008 12:12:31 -0500
From: "Amy Ruell" <aruell at nbp.org>
Subject: Re: [blindkid] When your child realizes she's different....
To: "'NFBnet Blind Kid Mailing List, \(for parents of blind
children\)'" <blindkid at nfbnet.org>
Message-ID: <151902CC1CD04923B305FCA9C5972A82 at nbp2.local>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Hello Stephanie,
I'm sure that those words were very hard to hear!!! Do you know why
she's
struggling with this right now? Maybe if you knew more, you could help her
solve the undrlying problem that is causing her to wish she could see.
Thanks.
Amy
-----Original Message-----
From: blindkid-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindkid-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Kieszak, Stephanie (CDC/CCEHIP/NCEH)
Sent: Tuesday, November 18, 2008 11:45 AM
To: blindkid at nfbnet.org
Subject: [blindkid] When your child realizes she's different....
My 6 year old daughter has recently started talking a lot about being blind
and about her "acrylic" eyes, as she refers to her prosthetics. The
other
night, she said to me "Mommy, can you get me something so I can see with
my
eyes instead of with my hands?" I felt like someone had plunged a knife
into my heart! For you parents of older kids, was there anything you ever
said or did that helped when your child seemed to be feeling sad or angry
about being blind? I tried reminding her of all the other blind people we
know who also don't see things with their eyes but that didn't seem to
help.
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Stephanie
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------------------------------
Message: 4
Date: Tue, 18 Nov 2008 11:12:54 -0600
From: kala hjelle <khjelle at hotmail.com>
Subject: Re: [blindkid] When your child realizes she's different....
To: <blindkid at nfbnet.org>
Message-ID: <BAY125-W38B666453C00BB64D78552A6120 at phx.gbl>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
My daughter Lily is almost 9. Over the years we have talked a lot about how
being different is wonderful. We have talked about many people we know and come
up with things about them that make them different and special. She knows that
her blindness is one (among many) thing that makes her different, unique, and
special. One thing that she really loves about being blind is that she gets to
teach people. I have always said that God picked her to be a special teacher in
this world. She says she teaches people how she reads braille, how she uses her
cane, how she knows who is around by the way they walk or breathe, and most
importantly she teaches people that the things that make us different from
others are the things that make us who we are and that if we love those things
about us, then others will, too. So the "teacher" part of it is
really what makes her feel good about her blindness. Just an idea...
kala
(I have been on this list for a while, but have never posted or replied. This
one jumped out at me.)
> Date: Tue, 18 Nov 2008 11:45:09 -0500> From: sek7 at cdc.gov> To:
blindkid at nfbnet.org> Subject: [blindkid] When your child realizes she's
different....> > My 6 year old daughter has recently started talking a lot
about being> blind and about her "acrylic" eyes, as she refers to
her prosthetics.> The other night, she said to me "Mommy, can you get me
something so I> can see with my eyes instead of with my hands?" I felt
like someone had> plunged a knife into my heart! For you parents of older
kids, was there> anything you ever said or did that helped when your child
seemed to be> feeling sad or angry about being blind? I tried reminding her
of all> the other blind people we know who also don't see things with
their eyes> but that didn't seem to help. Any suggestions would be
greatly> appreciated!> Stephanie> > >
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Message: 5
Date: Tue, 18 Nov 2008 09:36:50 -0800 (PST)
From: Mindy Lipsey <mindy_lipsey at yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [blindkid] When your child realizes she's different....
To: "NFBnet Blind Kid Mailing List, \(for parents of blind
children\)"
<blindkid at nfbnet.org>
Message-ID: <657637.93444.qm at web31602.mail.mud.yahoo.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1
I would definately suggest having other friends and role models who are blind,
so she doesn't ever feel "alone".
I also remind my boys that everyone has "something" - basically
something they have to "deal with".
I also tell them that God made us all the way we are for a reason.? Sometimes
we don't know what that reason is yet, but we will eventually find out.
Hope this helps.
Mindy
--- On Tue, 11/18/08, Amy Ruell <aruell at nbp.org> wrote:
From: Amy Ruell <aruell at nbp.org>
Subject: Re: [blindkid] When your child realizes she's different....
To: "'NFBnet Blind Kid Mailing List, (for parents of blind
children)'" <blindkid at nfbnet.org>
Date: Tuesday, November 18, 2008, 12:12 PM
Hello Stephanie,
I'm sure that those words were very hard to hear!!! Do you know why
she's
struggling with this right now? Maybe if you knew more, you could help her
solve the undrlying problem that is causing her to wish she could see.
Thanks.
Amy
-----Original Message-----
From: blindkid-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindkid-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Kieszak, Stephanie (CDC/CCEHIP/NCEH)
Sent: Tuesday, November 18, 2008 11:45 AM
To: blindkid at nfbnet.org
Subject: [blindkid] When your child realizes she's different....
My 6 year old daughter has recently started talking a lot about being blind
and about her "acrylic" eyes, as she refers to her prosthetics. The
other
night, she said to me "Mommy, can you get me something so I can see with
my
eyes instead of with my hands?" I felt like someone had plunged a knife
into my heart! For you parents of older kids, was there anything you ever
said or did that helped when your child seemed to be feeling sad or angry
about being blind? I tried reminding her of all the other blind people we
know who also don't see things with their eyes but that didn't seem to
help.
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Stephanie
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