[blindkid] When your child realizes she's different....
Carol Castellano
carol_castellano at verizon.net
Tue Nov 18 19:57:15 UTC 2008
Hi Stephanie,
A few thoughts.
Sometimes kids ask questions about their blindness not because they
are feeling sad about it, but because they're just looking for a
factual answer. For ex., if Kendra is now realizing that most of the
people she deals with are sighted, maybe she's just trying to round
out her picture of what's going on. Did they all used to be blind,
like her? Did their moms "get them something" so that now they see
with their eyes? Well, the answer is nope, some kids are blind and
they grow up to be big blind people and some kids are sighted and
they grow up to be big sighted people.
Sometimes it's helpful to ask questions or try to put their feelings
into words for them so that their feelings can come out, but I would
caution against asking "leading" questions, like "do you feel sad
because you're blind?" Maybe that isn't going on at all, but we can
plant seeds!
If she is indeed feeling sad or angry, I personally still would not
press the "being different" aspect and I wouldn't dwell on the
subject either. Remember that Kendra doesn't bring to the situation
all that you bring to it as an adult--her feelings are not what yours
might be as a sighted parent. I would also definitely remind her
(and myself) that "it's okay to be blind." It's just another regular
way to be.
Carol
At 11:45 AM 11/18/2008, you wrote:
>My 6 year old daughter has recently started talking a lot about being
>blind and about her "acrylic" eyes, as she refers to her prosthetics.
>The other night, she said to me "Mommy, can you get me something so I
>can see with my eyes instead of with my hands?" I felt like someone had
>plunged a knife into my heart! For you parents of older kids, was there
>anything you ever said or did that helped when your child seemed to be
>feeling sad or angry about being blind? I tried reminding her of all
>the other blind people we know who also don't see things with their eyes
>but that didn't seem to help. Any suggestions would be greatly
>appreciated!
>Stephanie
>
>
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