[blindkid] When your child realizes she's different....

Carol Castellano carol_castellano at verizon.net
Tue Nov 18 19:57:15 UTC 2008


Hi Stephanie,

A few thoughts.

Sometimes kids ask questions about their blindness not because they 
are feeling sad about it, but because they're just looking for a 
factual answer.  For ex., if Kendra is now realizing that most of the 
people she deals with are sighted, maybe she's just trying to round 
out her picture of what's going on.  Did they all used to be blind, 
like her?  Did their moms "get them something" so that now they see 
with their eyes?  Well, the answer is nope, some kids are blind and 
they grow up to be big blind people and some kids are sighted and 
they grow up to be big sighted people.

Sometimes it's helpful to ask questions or try to put their feelings 
into words for them so that their feelings can come out, but I would 
caution against asking "leading" questions, like "do you feel sad 
because you're blind?"  Maybe that isn't going on at all, but we can 
plant seeds!

If she is indeed feeling sad or angry, I personally still would not 
press the "being different" aspect and I wouldn't dwell on the 
subject either.  Remember that Kendra doesn't bring to the situation 
all that you bring to it as an adult--her feelings are not what yours 
might be as a sighted parent.  I would also definitely remind her 
(and myself) that "it's okay to be blind."  It's just another regular 
way to be.

Carol



At 11:45 AM 11/18/2008, you wrote:
>My 6 year old daughter has recently started talking a lot about being
>blind and about her "acrylic" eyes, as she refers to her prosthetics.
>The other night, she said to me "Mommy, can you get me something so I
>can see with my eyes instead of with my hands?"  I felt like someone had
>plunged a knife into my heart!  For you parents of older kids, was there
>anything you ever said or did that helped when your child seemed to be
>feeling sad or angry about being blind?  I tried reminding her of all
>the other blind people we know who also don't see things with their eyes
>but that didn't seem to help.  Any suggestions would be greatly
>appreciated!
>Stephanie
>
>
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