[blindkid] Update on advice about a school incident

Fri Nov 6 15:06:14 UTC 2009

Glad to hear it and also glad this was brought out: many things here in this
situation to help many. Some thoughts/resources I hope that are taken away,
if not already understood:

*Blind/low vision children need to know and be empowered with the KNOWLEDGE
that they are NOT NECESSARILY more vulnerable. They need to know that they
CAN tell things without sight about human behaviors and risk and protect
themselves and resolve things for themselves. That they can and should
indeed pay attention to personal space, behaviors (e.g. tones of
voice/giggling/hushed whispers) of people around them and their belongings
and not assume for example it is them who lost something...or either assume
it was stolen. It takes awhile of "lessons" to learn these things/it is a
lifestyle of talking about it as things come up, knowing how other blind
people "do" and "know", learning to be responsible in finding things they
may have lost, learning to pay attention to other's behaviors. Lifestyle
means it is incorporated naturally/matter-of factly in all kinds of
discussions as LIFE occurs and not some long minutes, emotionally wrought,
fraught with sensitivity BIG TALK:). 

Also: For ex. Here: Kendra can be made aware of what is in her lunch box
ahead of time. Ian KNEW he had some crackers, it is both right that he make
sure he did not misplace them and then when he is sure to trust what he
knows and consider seriously that he has been robbed... in the  many
examples of  others doing things because of the mistaken conclusion that the
blind person will always not know what is going on because they can not see:
discussions including prejudice/false notions, general meanness to anyone,
and not assuming prejudice or meanness always, can all occur(the 'pouring
over the head'~that happens to sighted kids too~and it is a matter of paying
attention sometimes and being aware that some people 'joke' like this...and
then learning there is context; not every 'joke' like this is out of
meanness and mistaken notions/prejudices some is indeed joking amongst
friends or just flat out "not thinking" impulsiveness)...learning to
differentiate all of this takes some maturity and practice. And still for
those who live with daily false notions aimed at them, sometimes accepting
you never really know for sure the "root" of a behavior and you can't overdo
either and spend your life trying to analyze or even educate every
instance>oh that tricky thing of balance;)

*Blind/low vision children need to know they are not more fragile and can
take this kind of thing and resolve it themselves and move on...sighted
people need to know the blind/low vision person is also capable of resolving
it w/out being 'scarred' for life.

*Blind/Low vision children need to know that sight is NOT magic and has its
limits and unreliability too and reversely that blindness does not come with
special powers. In the "Handbook for Itinerant Teachers" Doris W. devotes a
whole chapter. This is very important and the first discussions should
happen very early, cuz it takes a long time and matures as developmentally
they can consider deeper and wider. I can't tell you the number of times I
have been shocked to discover highschoolers who have not been able to
discuss their ideas freely and comfortably/naturally and have some idea that
it is like "zapping~lightning~powerful magic" a direct quote from a VERY
smart 15 year old whose parents never felt comfortable discussing what sight
was and was not and could and could not do...or how many ten year olds I
have met who still thought they could pick their noses and no one could
tell...or thought people could see INDSIDE them...

*Keeping things from a child almost never works; as has been mentioned
CHILDREN (and even adults~surprise!) TALK, how horrifying and stupid feeling
to find out and that no one told you it happened or felt you could be
trusted to know and handle it.

Carrie 
-----Original Message-----
From: blindkid-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindkid-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Susan Harper
Sent: Thursday, November 05, 2009 6:04 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Kid Mailing List,(for parents of blind children)
Subject: Re: [blindkid] Update on advice about a school incident

Great job Mom.  This speaks to what a great job you have done raising a
healthy child. It is never easy.  We only do the best we can!
Blessings,
Sue H.

On Thu, Nov 5, 2009 at 12:47 PM, Kieszak, Stephanie (CDC/CCEHIP/NCEH) <
sek7 at cdc.gov> wrote:

> Thank you all so much for your feedback.  I spoke to Kendra about what
> happened before she left for school this morning. Then her teacher spoke
> with her and the two boys at school.  Her TVI e-mailed me with the note
> that Kendra wrote about it:
>
> -----Original Message-----
> Dear Mom,
> I forgive XXX and YYY for taking the cookies out of my lunchbox.  I am
> sad because they took my food without asking.  I do not like what they
> did.  I am not going to sit with them any more.  We had a little meeting
> in the hallway and they talked about what they did and apologized.  Ms.
> ZZZ and the boys and I talked about it and they promised they couldn't
> sit at my table.
> Sincerely,
> Kendra
>
>
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