[blindkid] Daughter's pre-k graduation

[Susan Harper]

We share your tears, not of joy, but of a moment Torrie and her family were
robbed of.  Her cane is a part of her, just as my glasses and my husband's
hearing aids are.  I hope that you will share this letter with Torrie's
teachers and the school principal and superintendent.  This is not a
criticism, just a teaching moment.  However, you will never recoup this
memorable time in your daughter's life.  All you can do is teach her to hold
her head up high and her cane and go on.  There will be other moments like
this.  We have been parents of children with disabilities for over 30 years
and now a blind child.  We do feel your pain and pray for healing, not just
for your family, but the folks who are ignorant about what it means to be
different.  Celebrate with your little girl and tell her she is a special
person in your life every day.  You are the best thing in her life.  Don't
stop advocating and use this story over and over where it is needed to
teach!  Please accept this big hug from our big family to you and your
amazingly brave little girl.  There are going to be dumssas (our word and
you can unscramble the letters) everywhere.
Blessings,
Sue H.

On Fri, Jun 4, 2010 at 2:15 PM, Doreen Franklin <theconelady at yahoo.com>wrote:

> I wanted to share  a letter that was hand-delivered to our school
> superintendent today about our daughter's pre-k graduation ceremony. As you
> can tell from the letter, it was bittersweet.
> Doreen
>
>
>
> I am writing about my daughter who is visually impaired and in the pre-K
> program at Eagles Nest. Her graduation ceremony was today and I am writing
> to tell you how upset my family was with the treatment of our daughter,
> Victorria.
>
> The ceremony started with Victorria being led by Mrs Rowe using sighted
> guide (I can’t say it was correct, but that is not the point). Torrie was
> set down on the floor to watch the photo review of the year with the rest of
> her class. Torrie has low vision and she was not able to see or "recognize"
> the pictures of herself and her friends. I sat and I cried, not because of
> joy, but because she could not see the pictures. All of the other children
> were shouting out "that's me" and they even shouted "Torrie," but because
> Torrie could not see, Torrie could not participate in the festivity that her
> other friends were enjoying. It was heart breaking as I sat there and
> continued to watch Torrie not be able to participate like her sighted peers.
> It made me even sadder, and I continued to cry. I wanted to bring her over
> to me and go through the pictures verbally with her, but I knew she needed
> to stay where she is. (I have asked Mrs Rowe for a copy of the CD so
>  that Torrie can watch the show at home).
>
> As the ceremony continued, the children were moved to the stage. Again,
> Torrie was led by Mrs Rowe to her seat. I looked at Torrie and her cane was
> no where to be found. I was in shock! In our eyes, it said to us that she
> "couldn't be herself." During the program, Torrie was then led to a place on
> the stage to hold a sign while all of the other children were able to walk
> toward the audience in different parts of the program. We sat there and were
> so disappointed that our daughter's disability was not recognized, that she
> was made to "look like all of the other children" yet she was not doing the
> same activity (walking toward the audience) like her sighted peers. I was
> livid at this point because Torrie could not be herself, but had to “look
> like the other sighted children”.  My family was upset and disappointed that
> Torrie had to be made to be like one of the other kids in the program. Her
> disability and her cane seemed to be something to be ashamed
>  of. That is not what we are instilling in Torrie. She is to be proud of
> who she is!
>
> This past weekend, I was at a state convention for people who are blind and
> visually impaired and everyone used their cane or guide dog. No one was
> ashamed of having a visual disability. These adults had to navigate a new
> environment to all of them – they had to find their way from the hotel
> check-in, to their rooms, to the restaurant, to the main seminar room and
> other seminar rooms. Several of these people were also speakers who had to
> navigate to the front of the room for their speeches. None of these adults
> were embarrassed  by their canes or guide dogs; instead they navigated
> around the hotel with confidence and independence. Why isn’t this outlook of
> independence being supported by the school? I don’t even have the words to
> describe my feelings about the independence and assurance these people had
> last weekend, and how my daughter was not allowed to use her cane which
> makes her independent and safe! What a stark contrast! There are no words
>  for this!
>
> The diplomas were then given out by Mr Lynch and the children were to shake
> hands with Mrs Rowe, Mr Lynch and Mrs Serynak. Torrie did not have her cane
> and she walked across the stage, without her cane. When I saw that, I gasped
> for my daughter's safety as well as the fact that she did not have her cane
> to use, which is a vital part of her. Torrie's cane is as much a part of her
> as her glasses are, just like our glasses are a part of us (we all wear
> glasses). After the ceremony, Torrie was led off the stage by Mrs Rowe. All
> of the other children were able to go to their parents and had pictures
> taken with family and on stage. Torrie looked toward us, but Torrie had Mrs
> Rowe’s hand. When she looked toward us, I was not sure what to do - get her
> or let her go to her class as were the directions. Instead, all the parents
> got their children and took pictures, and Torrie had Mrs Rowe's hand and was
> being led out of the auditorium. My family and I were very
>  disappointed, especially after seeing other families taking pictures. I
> have no pictures of Torrie alone on stage with her diploma. I have Torrie
> and her class instead of individual pictures of our graduate. Instead of
> this being a very happy day, it was heart breaking, depressing and very
> disconcerting.
>
> Torrie is finally getting orientation and mobility instruction for use in
> cane. In our last IEP meeting, it was decided that she would not use the
> cane in her class but she would use it any other time outside of her class.
> Torrie should have used her cane while in the auditorium instead of the fact
> that it was being covered up. I don't think it would have mattered to the
> other parents if Torrie had used her cane (they all know she uses a cane)
> and it was set on the floor by her. She could have used her cane to move
> around, just like her sighted peers. Instead, her disability was concealed.
> Do you know the message being sent to Torrie? That message is that you
> cannot be you - you need to "hide" your disability and hide your cane. What
> a sad commentary for our pre-K children! How are we to build her self-esteem
> with the use of her cane at this point?
>
> I have been trying to be upbeat about the whole ceremony with my daughter,
> but it has been quite hard to hide my feelings. Torrie told me that "she
> didn't need her cane on the stage" which is not a 5-yr old's decision. The
> use of a cane is a decision made by her parents, and it was then reaffirmed
> by the IEP Team after an IEE on orientation & mobility clearly showed the
> reasons for the use of the cane. How can we instill that the cane is
> necessary with her visual disability when the school isn't even on-board for
> the use of her cane?
>
>
>
>
>
> Doreen
> http://www.raceforindependence.org/goto/TorrieF
>
>
>
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