[blindkid] Daughter's pre-k graduation

Sun Jun 6 12:29:58 UTC 2010

Doreen, I am so sorry to hear Torrie had to go through this! It sometimes seems like a never ending battle, doesn't it? We are working with Winona's "team" now to prepare for her 8th grade graduation on Thursday. She is finally at the point where she can say to them, "no, this is how I'd prefer to do it." It does happen! And now look at Kim's daughter...an inspiration to our kiddos.

It's a difficult road for our kids to advocate when they are little. They are told not to question the adults, and when they do, often they are criticized for being "difficult, argumentative" etc.It took our pulling Winona from the school to rebuild her confidence in her own abilities before they would listen to us. Hope and pray you guys manage to get through to them before that point. Torrie has a lot going for her with you and the NFB behind her!

Hope to see you guys soon!

 Debby
bwbddl at yahoo.com

http://www.raceforindependence.org/goto/winona.brackett ($55 to go!)
Daniel's mission trip: www.reignministries.org/sponsor-rs
or Reign Ministries, 5401 W. Broadway Avenue, Minneapolis, MN 55428

________________________________
From: Doreen Franklin <theconelady at yahoo.com>
To: NFB Parents <blindkid at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Fri, June 4, 2010 2:15:36 PM
Subject: [blindkid] Daughter's pre-k graduation

I wanted to share  a letter that was hand-delivered to our school superintendent today about our daughter's pre-k graduation ceremony. As you can tell from the letter, it was bittersweet.
Doreen 

I am writing about my daughter who is visually impaired and in the pre-K program at Eagles Nest. Her graduation ceremony was today and I am writing to tell you how upset my family was with the treatment of our daughter, Victorria. 

The ceremony started with Victorria being led by Mrs Rowe using sighted guide (I can’t say it was correct, but that is not the point). Torrie was set down on the floor to watch the photo review of the year with the rest of her class. Torrie has low vision and she was not able to see or "recognize" the pictures of herself and her friends. I sat and I cried, not because of joy, but because she could not see the pictures. All of the other children were shouting out "that's me" and they even shouted "Torrie," but because Torrie could not see, Torrie could not participate in the festivity that her other friends were enjoying. It was heart breaking as I sat there and continued to watch Torrie not be able to participate like her sighted peers. It made me even sadder, and I continued to cry. I wanted to bring her over to me and go through the pictures verbally with her, but I knew she needed to stay where she is. (I have asked Mrs Rowe for a copy of the CD so
that Torrie can watch the show at home).

As the ceremony continued, the children were moved to the stage. Again, Torrie was led by Mrs Rowe to her seat. I looked at Torrie and her cane was no where to be found. I was in shock! In our eyes, it said to us that she "couldn't be herself." During the program, Torrie was then led to a place on the stage to hold a sign while all of the other children were able to walk toward the audience in different parts of the program. We sat there and were so disappointed that our daughter's disability was not recognized, that she was made to "look like all of the other children" yet she was not doing the same activity (walking toward the audience) like her sighted peers. I was livid at this point because Torrie could not be herself, but had to “look like the other sighted children”.  My family was upset and disappointed that Torrie had to be made to be like one of the other kids in the program. Her disability and her cane seemed to be something to be ashamed
of. That is not what we are instilling in Torrie. She is to be proud of who she is! 

This past weekend, I was at a state convention for people who are blind and visually impaired and everyone used their cane or guide dog. No one was ashamed of having a visual disability. These adults had to navigate a new environment to all of them – they had to find their way from the hotel check-in, to their rooms, to the restaurant, to the main seminar room and other seminar rooms. Several of these people were also speakers who had to navigate to the front of the room for their speeches. None of these adults were embarrassed  by their canes or guide dogs; instead they navigated around the hotel with confidence and independence. Why isn’t this outlook of independence being supported by the school? I don’t even have the words to describe my feelings about the independence and assurance these people had last weekend, and how my daughter was not allowed to use her cane which makes her independent and safe! What a stark contrast! There are no words
for this! 

The diplomas were then given out by Mr Lynch and the children were to shake hands with Mrs Rowe, Mr Lynch and Mrs Serynak. Torrie did not have her cane and she walked across the stage, without her cane. When I saw that, I gasped for my daughter's safety as well as the fact that she did not have her cane to use, which is a vital part of her. Torrie's cane is as much a part of her as her glasses are, just like our glasses are a part of us (we all wear glasses). After the ceremony, Torrie was led off the stage by Mrs Rowe. All of the other children were able to go to their parents and had pictures taken with family and on stage. Torrie looked toward us, but Torrie had Mrs Rowe’s hand. When she looked toward us, I was not sure what to do - get her or let her go to her class as were the directions. Instead, all the parents got their children and took pictures, and Torrie had Mrs Rowe's hand and was being led out of the auditorium. My family and I were very
disappointed, especially after seeing other families taking pictures. I have no pictures of Torrie alone on stage with her diploma. I have Torrie and her class instead of individual pictures of our graduate. Instead of this being a very happy day, it was heart breaking, depressing and very disconcerting.

Torrie is finally getting orientation and mobility instruction for use in cane. In our last IEP meeting, it was decided that she would not use the cane in her class but she would use it any other time outside of her class. Torrie should have used her cane while in the auditorium instead of the fact that it was being covered up. I don't think it would have mattered to the other parents if Torrie had used her cane (they all know she uses a cane) and it was set on the floor by her. She could have used her cane to move around, just like her sighted peers. Instead, her disability was concealed. Do you know the message being sent to Torrie? That message is that you cannot be you - you need to "hide" your disability and hide your cane. What a sad commentary for our pre-K children! How are we to build her self-esteem with the use of her cane at this point? 

I have been trying to be upbeat about the whole ceremony with my daughter, but it has been quite hard to hide my feelings. Torrie told me that "she didn't need her cane on the stage" which is not a 5-yr old's decision. The use of a cane is a decision made by her parents, and it was then reaffirmed by the IEP Team after an IEE on orientation & mobility clearly showed the reasons for the use of the cane. How can we instill that the cane is necessary with her visual disability when the school isn't even on-board for the use of her cane? 

Doreen
http://www.raceforindependence.org/goto/TorrieF

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