[blindkid] Independence Check Lists

SUSAN POLANSKY sepolansky at verizon.net
Tue Jul 26 02:08:36 UTC 2011


Time goes by so fast and suddenly our children are hitting milestones like 
staying home alone and heading off to high school. When Jason started staying 
alone after school I was hit with the reality of what he did not know. I took a 
good look at our home room by room and thought -what does he not know about 
this room? I was astounded by what we had missed. He did not know how to unlock 
and open the windows or how to remove the screens. He knew the front windows 
from the back and side windows but was not sure what was on the other side of 
all the windows. I realized that in the event of fire he could not escape 
through the windows that he did not know how to open and remove screens and did 
not know the safe ways to get out of the house since some of our windows are 3 
stories off the ground.  I made a list of rooms and what he needed to know for 
each then we started learning. This was 4 years ago, I still pull the list out 
every now and then and we do a refresher. 

Susan T. Polansky 




________________________________
From: DrV <icdx at earthlink.net>
To: "NFBnet Blind Kid Mailing List, (for parents of blind children)" 
<blindkid at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Mon, July 25, 2011 10:39:30 AM
Subject: [blindkid] Independence Check Lists

Hi All,
I'm sure most, if not all, of the parents on this listserv can relate to the
sentiment of "there is just not enough time to teach my son or daughter
everything". While I don't have "the answer", I wanted to share an approach
that seems to be working out well for us.
As my older son is about to start his freshman year at high school, I keep
asking myself "Where has all the time gone? How could it possibly have
slipped by so quickly?" In 4 short years collage tuition will be due.
It is also becoming increasingly clear that there is still a lot to cover on
the non-academic side in order for him (& us) to feel comfortable with him
living & getting around on his own, potentially in a new city. There is
shopping, laundry, & a host of other stuff he will need to be able to do on
his own.
My older son really wants be ready on a social level for high school. Those
that know him are quite aware he is very talkative & social, but it is all
the other skills that need work (independent mobility, organization, more
advanced technology awareness, more appropriate table manners & independence
so he can confidently, comfortably go out to eat & party with friends,
maintain a neat room & bathroom for when friends come over, etc). There is a
lot that still needs to be covered - these are things that for many blind
kids end up not really getting covered to a truly adequate degree at school.
I'm sure some of you have heard of the "Expanded Core Curriculum for Blind
and VI Children and Youths" ­ it¹s supposed to be part of every IEPŠ As
someone who is slowly becoming a more seasoned veteran (as a parent), I hope
no one is holding his or her breath for the educational system to address
everything.
For years we have been approaching this is in "baby steps" you might say; we
sit down several times a year & list out a finite number of things that we
want to specifically address with our boys for the next few months (the
number varies with what is on the list). If we don't go through that
process, then the time just seems to slip by without really actively
addressing all but the most pressing issues. In recent years we have had the
boys contribute their wishes to that process ­ figuring everyone has
different priorities & because they will likely put more effort into what
they perceive to be most important. We try to when possible make it fun ­
walking to the local minimart to buy a Sunday newspaper involves O&M as well
as manipulation of money (& it is amazing what comes up on conversation
during those walks where we are not focused on other things). Some things
turn in to expected chores ­ the list gradually expands over time. It is
never too early to start. Some things like learning to zip a vest or
organize a backpack or tie shoes just have to be barreled through. & yes, we
too can relate to toothpaste challenges.
This summer my younger son is out of town with my wife due to his recent eye
surgery; the older one is too old for the Buddy Program & not old enough for
the next level up. Since he is motivated & this is an important transition
year before high school, we decide to make the most of this summer & our
focus is to tackle a longer list of things to address.
At the beginning of the summer I asked my older son to generate a list of
things he wanted to & he felt he needed work on. I asked him to think big &
to be ambitious. That he did!
We were pleasantly surprised to get his list ­ much of what was on there
were things that my wife & I too felt needed to be addressed, but
importantly, it is his list. We sat down & categorized the items on the list
& are working through those. He is now downloading books on his own, working
on his laptop skills (getting a handle on iTunes & Bookshare are both
motivating & empowering). He has been making his own breakfast everyday,
working on other meals, & even cleaning off the table. (He did share with me
that he is now consciously trying to eat neater, so that there is less to
wipe off the table - & it has been totally clean even before he wiped it off
a number of times now). ³Kitchen O&M² is a great experience & he now is
beginning to realize how much effort is takes to prepare for meals (with my
wife out of town, he & I have to go buy everything as well). He has really
taken ownership for his list & is enthusiastically pursuing things that my
otherwise have been taxing.
An unanticipated "side-effect" of being apart for a few weeks is that when
the boys talk to each other on the phone, they each are somewhat envious of
what the other is doing or learning & now are asking to try things on the
other is working on!  :-)
We still have about a month to go before the start of the upcoming school
year. Both boys will have accomplished & learned a lot of skills by that
time. We are making nice progress through the list, taking on items on as
seems most natural throughout the course of this summer. They will have
mastered some, but not all. We will however at least address each item more
than just superficially - to a level that will be their solid foundation for
this next year when they can follow through & practice until they reach
proficiency.
Honestly, the sense of pride & confidence that emanates from each of them
the first time they do the task totally on their own is precious. It is very
gratifying to see how with time & further practice they refine each new
skill until it becomes commonplace. What once provoked anxiety or unease has
been transformed into their routine. They actually seem to enjoy coming up
with goals to work on.
It¹s never too early to start working on things in a more focused fashion.
Time flies by oh so fastŠ
Eric V




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