[blindkid] Struggling with socialising

Tue May 10 18:23:07 UTC 2011

Love that Home Depot idea!!!
Carol

At 10:03 AM 5/5/2011, you wrote:
>I appreciate your kind words, thanks! I get those "smack your 
>forehead" moments all the time (I like your phrase, BTW), and the 
>more I get them, the more I wonder what else I'm overlooking. They 
>often come in conversations with other people when I'm sort of 
>thinking aloud. "I just don't understand why Kendra doesn't... [you 
>name it]... Oh... [SMACK!} Because she wouldn't know that.... [fill 
>in the blank] if nobody told her...
>
>It really bugs me when it is something at school which they act like 
>she should be doing (or know, etc.), then it becomes clear she isn't 
>doing it because she is missing information! I remember a big 
>problem with transitions a while back when Kendra refused to stop 
>doing things and move quickly to the next activity. After some 
>discussion, we realized that the rest of the kids had a bunch of 
>visual cues that it was soon going to be time to change before the 
>transition actually came. A teacher moves to a particular location, 
>other kids are seen moving to a new activity around them, and so 
>forth. The fix was someone prompting her that in a few  minutes it 
>would be time to do so-and-so. Then maybe give one more cue, like 
>"Mrs. Jones is getting ready to ring the bell." (Etc.) Otherwise, 
>she was being "jolted" to abruptly stop and she wasn't ready.
>
>It seems to me that over time, the gaps can be filled in to the 
>point that I think a fairly reasonable concept can be built for most 
>anything. It isn't that our kids don't learn as well, the problem is 
>that they don't learn the same way-- they get information 
>differently so we need to teach them with the appropriate 
>alternative techniques and strategies. Some teachers really "get 
>it". Others, however well intended, just never catch on quite as well.
>
>I feel like we've been in better shape socially recently, but then I 
>find more gaps in general information. What is happening outside the 
>car while we drive, for example. With the windows up, a car becomes 
>a "magic transporter" and Kendra has no idea that we just drove past 
>a few dozen businesses, several hundred houses, uncounted phone 
>poles and a handful of intersections with traffic lights. Then there 
>are all the other vehicles we pass or that we drive next to which 
>make sounds of interest once in a while but mostly are unnoticed 
>just like cyclists and pedestrians-- how would she know about those? 
>Of corse, none of explaining all of this taught her how the car 
>actually works. Kendra wants to know, so we've had a number of 
>session of exploring a driver's seat and all the knobs and switches 
>and pedals. Why does she hear that clicking sound? Oh, that's the 
>turn signal. Here it is and then I explain how and why we use it. 
>Last week she wanted to know what starts the car. I thought I
>  had explained pretty much the entire process, but no-- I guess I 
> forgot to explain that part. All the little details are hard to 
> remember! I think about this sort of thing, then I translate it to 
> her school experience. What things does she know about vs. what 
> things are being overlooked which the rest of the kids see each 
> day? It is concerning...
>
>I try not to let it overwhelm me. I know that when I shift the focus 
>to one area we loose focus elsewhere, but as long as most of the 
>time we focus on some area of incidental information, I think we're 
>gaining on things overall. Another really nice thing is that after 
>even a minimal knowledge base is built, Kendra will ask more 
>questions from a simple cue. "What's that sound?" Oh, we're riding 
>next to a big truck, and then I remember to discuss cars around us 
>for a while. "What's that smell?" Oh, that's gasoline from the gas 
>station we just drove past, so now we can discuss gas stations and 
>other businesses nearby. Hopefully she asks questions that prompt 
>such discussions with teachers and classmates as well.
>
>Recently, Kendra was curious about what a plunger is. She told me 
>she wanted to feel one. Well, she wasn't going to feel one that was 
>around here! (No matter HOW well cleaned it might be, we don't need 
>to explore a used plunger with our hands!) Still, she remained 
>curious, and the best description I could offer seemed insufficient 
>as far as I was concerned. I thought for a bit and realized that a 
>NEW plunger is as clean as most any other thing you might find at 
>the store; it is just a hunk of rubber on a stick after all, so we 
>went to Home Depot and explored not only plungers but spent an 
>afternoon looking at everything we could find in the store. (This 
>took several hours.) So what was the most exciting part of the 
>outing for her? You guessed it-- Kendra came home with "her very own 
>plunger!" It seemed weird at first, but it was brand new information 
>to her. Most kids would have already seen one of those many times, 
>perhaps even daily, (like in the corner of a bathroom) but, as with
>  so many things, she had just learned about them because nobody 
> really discusses them very often and you don't generally run across 
> them in day-to-day activities.
>
>The Home Depot outing prompted more adventures because it was 
>different than more common trips to the grocery store or the Mall or 
>Wal Mart. Soon we needed to go to Sports Authority to explain about 
>strange sporting goods-- cleats, turf shoes, different kinds of 
>bats, all sorts of balls... you name it. This had drown out of some 
>sort if shoe a friend had mentioned (I think it was a cleat). Soon 
>after that, we went to Bass Pro to feel all sorts of camping and 
>boating gear. She was amazed at all the different kinds and sizes of 
>anchors, for example. She also had no idea from feeling the small 
>outboard on a boat we have here that outboard engines could be small 
>enough for her to pick up or over 7 feet tall and many hundreds of 
>pounds, but there she could feel them one after another. Other kids 
>would see that at the lake, but had I ever told her that? No, I had 
>never thought of it. I see many similar outing for this summer when 
>we have more free time...The list of possible places to
>  explore is nearly endless, but I should stop talking! (I'm getting 
> all excited and talking too much again, sorry!)
>
>Just a few thoughts I thought I'd share. As always, your mileage may vary.
>
>Cheers.
>
>
>On May 4, 2011, at 12:29 PM, Marie wrote:
>
> > Richard, you are such a wonderful resource! Thank you so much for 
> this. Jack
> > is socially behind his peers and at nearly age 6 is just emerging from the
> > parallel play stage. Because of the many things going on with Jack, it is
> > sometimes hard to remember subtle things like describing the 
> children around
> > him may help get an interaction going. I have been a frequent modeler of
> > saying hello but now (smack my forehead) I do realize that Jack must at
> > least some of the time be wondering just who I am saying hello to! He has
> > picked up the habit of saying hi. If he hears voices talking, he wants to
> > "go say hi" and is pretty insistent about it. Thank you so much for sharing
> > your experiences!!!
>
>_______________________________________________
>blindkid mailing list
>blindkid at nfbnet.org
>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindkid_nfbnet.org
>To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info 
>for blindkid:
>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blindkid_nfbnet.org/blindchildren%40verizon.net