[blindkid] Question about Student Loan Forgiveness for Parent
Natae Jones-Beasley
nataejones at hotmail.com
Thu Dec 6 03:26:59 UTC 2012
Arielle,
Yes. I contacted the NFB/NOPBC in my state as soon as I found out about my child's blindness. I attended convention this past summer and my state's NOPBC division is currently building! We are in Tennessee. I have found lots of resources already, and have enrolled in all the Braille programs that I have found. We are involved with my state's intervention program and also PT and OT- which are all wonderful resources for us.
Thanks!
<>< Natae
On Dec 5, 2012, at 9:07 PM, Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com> wrote:
> Hi Natae,
> I didn't realize your son is just an infant. Have you contacted the
> National Federation of the Blind in your area? What state are you in?
> I am thinking the NFB in your state might be able to point you to
> educational services for him outside his school district. For example,
> they might be able to point you to sources for Braille children's
> books he can use in a few years.
> Best,
> Arielle
>
> On 12/5/12, Carrie Gilmer <carrie.gilmer at gmail.com> wrote:
>> Well Dear Natae,
>> I have feelings too. I suppose I could be sorry I wrote, but I am not. I
>> hope you lose the regret over asking the question. I doubt you are really
>> that fragile. An atmosphere of too much fragility squashes alot of great
>> discourse and learning as well. I never met a parent of a blind child who
>> was not a researcher. :)
>>
>> I understood you thought your query was simple. And initially I tried to
>> make my response the same. But you will find that the issue surrounding the
>> question, broadly, is not simple. Not at all. And Arielle has tried to touch
>> on some of it too. I doubt anyone was seriously offended in the scheme of
>> what we all deal with daily...but I do point out that the idea can be, and
>> often is offensive.
>>
>> About 15 years ago, full of passion and determination, I went to lunch with
>> a blind woman, for the first time. She had been active for decades "changing
>> what it means to be blind". I wanted to be a part of that for my son. I
>> wanted the world's understanding of blindness to be better. I did not want
>> my son to be discriminated against. I had my pen and notebook. I was ready
>> to take notes, to make a list of what we had to do....and then we could
>> check off our victories as we went. So as we sat down, my first question to
>> her was, "What does it mean to be blind? What do we have to do to change
>> it?" She sat and thought for a minute. Then she began, "It means, you are
>> educated, have a job, make a decent income, maybe your own family....and
>> when you get on the bus to go home, or to work, or to the store....the
>> driver insists you pay the reduced disability fare and sit in the
>> handicapped section....even though there is nothing wrong with your legs or
>> your pocketbook." I put my notebook away.
>>
>> Maybe a decade after that, after. i had learned much more. Another parent
>> said something about the National Federation FOR the Blind to me as I was
>> very hurriedly in between some large responsibilities, and in our
>> conversation I quickly and automatically-by-then interjected "OF", it's of
>> the blind...and back to the conversation.....later one of her friends told
>> me I had made her feel stupid and like nothing and terrible and etc
>> etc....but I knew it was not me, or the way I said it or that what I said
>> was incorrect. i knew she was new, and full of feelings of doubt and emotion
>> over the whole thing and what she had not known. Knew because I had been
>> just like her. i have been like you too. i also knew for her daughter she
>> needed to learn that all important huge difference in meaning between an
>> organization FOR the blind and of....and someday she would understand.
>>
>> I hope someday you understand i do not think I look too deeply. also that I
>> never considered or implied selfishness....only a possible misunderstanding
>> of when it is appropriate to take a "free pass" or reduced fare, or seat at
>> the front, or more time on a test, or all the thousands of other choices
>> that will come and when it is not appropriate or useful. And remember
>> everytime you DO take something free you teach the world something about
>> blindness...well blind people need free stuff....it is hard to be
>> blind....they need breaks, special breaks. do they? Really? Or do they just
>> need access and opportunity? Remember everytime you will also teach your
>> child.
>>
>> When I worked at an adjustment to blindness training center I observed
>> several hundred people over the years....some came in as adults, not a few,
>> having been raised to feel they were entitled to all kinds of
>> "breaks"....also that they NEEDED all kinds of breaks sighted people did not
>> get simply because they were blind...so everything was harder they
>> believed....they felt sorry for themselves....they had low opinions of their
>> capabilities....I know deeply the kind of damage this kind of thinking leads
>> to. I don't write here often anymore, geez it has been a long
>> time...enjoying retirement...the teacher mentor rose up in me. I also never
>> know when or if I will get a chance to talk to someone again. i always leave
>> people with as much as I can pack....just in case. Because someone else once
>> did it for me. i am into prevention. big. :)
>> Best to you,
>> Carrie
>> Sent from my iPad
>>
>> On Dec 5, 2012, at 7:21 PM, Natae Jones-Beasley <nataejones at hotmail.com>
>> wrote:
>>
>>>
>>> Carrie, It wasn't my intention to offend anyone with either my
>>> question (that I initially debated on making public because I was afraid
>>> it could be viewed wrongly) or with my response. I know that you can
>>> never know someone's tone or true intention when reading type. I felt my
>>> question was just a simple, face-value one. Yes, I see how someone could
>>> be offended by that, and pray that no one was. I am just a
>>> researcher by nature, and someone with family at heart, so I thought I
>>> would ask. I am new this journey, I have a young child- an infant- and
>>> just want to do the absolute best for him and my family. (If I had a
>>> purple child, I would google everything I could for "purple children"-just
>>> anything, you know?) I do feel like the site is safe, but initally I was
>>> hurt and felt saddened that my question was taken in (what I felt to be) a
>>> selfish manner. Please don't look too deeply into it. Now, really, I
>>> wish that I hadn't asked. :/ I thought, "Hey, if anyone knows, the NOPBC
>>> or these parents will". I appreciate your follow-up email and
>>> your responses. I know being part of this online community is a huge
>>> resource for me, and I know involvement will do nothing but benefit my
>>> child and my family. <>< Natae
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>> From: carrie.gilmer at gmail.com
>>>> Date: Wed, 5 Dec 2012 18:21:07 -0600
>>>> To: blindkid at nfbnet.org
>>>> Subject: Re: [blindkid] Question about Student Loan Forgiveness for
>>>> Parent
>>>>
>>>> Dear Natae,
>>>> It also occurred to me that my response might be "taken" as hurtful but
>>>> unfortunately there is no other short answer to the question Carlton put
>>>> forth. i am experienced enough to know that (and esp with email and
>>>> persons unknown) ANY thing is likely as not to be "taken" not as you
>>>> intend. i am not sure how you think I took it. i meant that there is most
>>>> probably no loan forgiveness for being a parent of a blind child, because
>>>> there is no need for that as a rule. And i put it that way to hopefully
>>>> bring about some thought on what even asking the question means. What do
>>>> you mean "taken this way"? you probably never heard of me, but I have a
>>>> bit of experience with thousands of experiences and I had run through all
>>>> the possible reasons to homeschool a blind child beyond simply you
>>>> believe in home schooling or for religious based reasons. it has been
>>>> done not uncommonly for a blind child when a parent is able in both time
>>>> and skill to take on the task with a good case to be made that there is a
>>>> need...not merely choice...and lack of meeting the educational needs of a
>>>> blind child is a causal factor.
>>>>
>>>> Families all over have made many hard choices, including financial
>>>> ones...moving, staying home, fighting legal battles, taking out loans and
>>>> becoming a Teacher of blind students...in order for their child to have a
>>>> proper normal expectation education. Families also make these kinds of
>>>> choices over many other disabilities, or even bullying issues or health
>>>> or religious belief.....or even just taking a financial hit to have one
>>>> parent home and available...but again those are choices. The only
>>>> forgiveness on loans that I am aware of are more of a trade...you give
>>>> something like military service or teaching in a poor underprivileged
>>>> area for a number of years. No one knows what is in their future when
>>>> they take out the loans. Some people get cancer, some have a spouse or
>>>> child die, they become disabled themselves....loans are not forgiven...or
>>>> they might all have to be.
>>>>
>>>> You seem to understand that blindness is not a greater hardship, and
>>>> indeed many here, myself included would rise and heartily debate whether
>>>> it was a hardship at all....or being a parent of a blind child
>>>> either....now getting a free and appropriate education for a blind child
>>>> does indeed present many hardships...but people are able to do it and
>>>> meet their financial obligations. maybe they have to give up something
>>>> else, like a nicer car...but they do it.
>>>>
>>>> I did not call you any names, or accuse you of a thing...so I am unsure
>>>> why you feel this list is not now a "safe" place.
>>>>
>>>> i think it not an unfair question to ask why you think it would or should
>>>> be a basis for loan forgiveness. Also think it helpful for you in the
>>>> long run to realize that many, many, are or would be offended at the
>>>> question. Offended? Why? This might make a fine, albiet possibly
>>>> controversial, article....when is "using blindness" to get something free
>>>> appropriate and even justified and when is it not? in fact i believe Dr.
>>>> tenBroek and likely Jernigan and Mr. maurer have spoken in speeches on it
>>>> already...and perhaps someone knows of a link...
>>>>
>>>> Meanwhile, you are just a very loving and good Mom wanting to do the very
>>>> best for your blind child and have some deep possibly desperate feelings
>>>> of financial hardship...and were hoping for just a simple yes there are
>>>> or no there are not answer....without what you possibly feel is judgement
>>>> or a lecture. I am saying this is a teaching moment for you. This topic
>>>> will come up in your lives, over and over....will you raise a child who
>>>> looks for special (UN-NEEDED) treatment just because of blindness or one
>>>> who only accepts help (due to blindness) that makes access and equal
>>>> opportunity or is in the normal course of being human. your child will
>>>> follow your lead. How would you explain the rationale for loan
>>>> forgiveness for you, for choices made long before because now your child
>>>> is blind...to your grown child? I am telling you sometimes that line or
>>>> free or not....the cost of a gift...can get tricky. i am sorry you felt
>>>> put off or hurt or judged or something like that by my response. i speak
>>>> all this in love Natae, I really do. ask anyone who knows me :)
>>>> carrie
>>>> Sent from my iPad
>>>>
>>>> On Dec 5, 2012, at 4:47 PM, Natae Jones-Beasley <nataejones at hotmail.com>
>>>> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Carrie, I was hoping my question wouldn't get taken this way.
>>>>> Yes, you are right. I did make those decisions to educate myself in
>>>>> that matter. However, at the time, I envisioned a full-time, working
>>>>> career (which I did have) until... retirement? I thought this
>>>>> list-serve was a safe place to ask anything. I know there are loan
>>>>> forgiveness programs for various things/experiences, so I thought it
>>>>> wouldn't hurt to ask other parents (I more specially thought, "It would
>>>>> be more appropriate to ask about loan forgiveness for something to do
>>>>> with "special needs"', but I felt safe to simply say blindness, because
>>>>> I was asking in a community of blindness. I do not consider my child's
>>>>> blindness, or other health issues, a setback or a "special need", he's
>>>>> our regular little awesome guy!) My child was the deciding factor for
>>>>> me to resign from my job and stay-at-home (not due to his blindness, but
>>>>> health-related issues and what goes with that). As many of you know,
>>>>> staying home is the biggest blessing and I wouldn't have it any other
>>>>> way, but the unfortunate truth is that financially, it can be a
>>>>> struggle. (I know we are so blessed to even make that option work- to
>>>>> even have a "struggle"- so I can't complain!) When it comes to
>>>>> homeschooling, I live in a very rural area, and I have heard nothing
>>>>> great about our local school systems and their education of the visually
>>>>> impaired. So, I do not feel like work is anywhere in my near future. I
>>>>> know my staying home is what this family needs. I was just
>>>>> seeking information, for any input that might possibly benefit my little
>>>>> family, that is all.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>> From: carrie.gilmer at gmail.com
>>>>>> Date: Wed, 5 Dec 2012 13:54:30 -0600
>>>>>> To: blindkid at nfbnet.org
>>>>>> Subject: Re: [blindkid] Question about Student Loan Forgiveness for
>>>>>> Parent
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I would respectfully inquire....what does choosing to take loans to
>>>>>> acquire several chosen degrees and then choosing not to use them
>>>>>> because you choose to stay home and homeschool your child have to do
>>>>>> with blindness or being the parent of having a blind child ...all in
>>>>>> order to receive massive funds to ease or erase a debt by choice from
>>>>>> school by choice? I myself really cannot imagine. All these things are
>>>>>> choices of a personal nature not caused or necessarily burdened by
>>>>>> being a parent of a blind child.
>>>>>> Carrie
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Sent from my iPad
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On Dec 4, 2012, at 9:39 PM, Carlton Anne Cook Walker
>>>>>> <nopbcpres at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Hello all:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> I received the following email, and I couldn't answer the question
>>>>>>> posed.
>>>>>>> I offered to share the query with the list. Please send answers to
>>>>>>> the
>>>>>>> list as well as to Natae.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Thank you,
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Carlton
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> From: nataejones at hotmail.com
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Is there any type of student loan forgiveness program for parents of
>>>>>>> blind children? I have 3 degrees that I am repaying and do not intend
>>>>>>> to
>>>>>>> use for a long time- now that I am staying home with (and plan to
>>>>>>> homeschool) my son.
>>>>>>> Any info is appreciated! I have searched myself, but haven't found
>>>>>>> anything.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Thanks!
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Carlton Anne Cook Walker
>>>>>>> President, National Organization of Parents of Blind Children
>>>>>>> 105 Creamery Road
>>>>>>> Boiling Springs, PA 17007
>>>>>>> Voice: 717-658-9894
>>>>>>> Twitter: braillemom
>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>>>> blindkid mailing list
>>>>>>> blindkid at nfbnet.org
>>>>>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindkid_nfbnet.org
>>>>>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>>>>>>> blindkid:
>>>>>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blindkid_nfbnet.org/carrie.gilmer%40gmail.com
>>>>>>
>>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>>> blindkid mailing list
>>>>>> blindkid at nfbnet.org
>>>>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindkid_nfbnet.org
>>>>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>>>>>> blindkid:
>>>>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blindkid_nfbnet.org/nataejones%40hotmail.com
>>>>>
>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>> blindkid mailing list
>>>>> blindkid at nfbnet.org
>>>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindkid_nfbnet.org
>>>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>>>>> blindkid:
>>>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blindkid_nfbnet.org/carrie.gilmer%40gmail.com
>>>>
>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>> blindkid mailing list
>>>> blindkid at nfbnet.org
>>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindkid_nfbnet.org
>>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>>>> blindkid:
>>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blindkid_nfbnet.org/nataejones%40hotmail.com
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> blindkid mailing list
>>> blindkid at nfbnet.org
>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindkid_nfbnet.org
>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>>> blindkid:
>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blindkid_nfbnet.org/carrie.gilmer%40gmail.com
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> blindkid mailing list
>> blindkid at nfbnet.org
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindkid_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> blindkid:
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blindkid_nfbnet.org/arielle71%40gmail.com
>>
>
> _______________________________________________
> blindkid mailing list
> blindkid at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindkid_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for blindkid:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blindkid_nfbnet.org/nataejones%40hotmail.com
>
More information about the BlindKid
mailing list