[blindkid] Dealing with selfish behavior

Mon Jun 2 15:30:30 UTC 2014

Traci, my middle son was born with a temper and continued to struggle with it until he was 17.  We had consequences for his temper and continuously worked on it.  Now, when we talk about his temper no one believes us because he is so even and calm.  We all have issues we need to work on.  I always said God has a sense of humor because blind people need to be very organized and I definitely struggle with organization every day.  You are on the right track to help her work on her need to control.  

-----Original Message-----
From: blindkid [mailto:blindkid-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of oandemom . via blindkid
Sent: Sunday, June 01, 2014 11:01 PM
To: Pui; Blind Kid Mailing List, (for parents of blind children)
Subject: Re: [blindkid] Dealing with selfish behavior

Maybe its the age, but her and I have had a battle for control since she was born!  ha!

Traci

On Sun, Jun 1, 2014 at 10:23 PM, Pui via blindkid <blindkid at nfbnet.org>
wrote:

> I have a sighted 9 year old and I could throttle him sometimes! Traci, 
> hang on in there!
>
> Sent from my iPad
>
> > On Jun 1, 2014, at 7:09 PM, Arielle Silverman via blindkid <
> blindkid at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> >
> > Hi Traci and all,
> >
> > While I think that getting blind kids involved in volunteerism is 
> > great for many reasons, I'm not sure it really addresses her issues 
> > with behaving selfishly. I suspect that she is acting this way at 
> > least in part because it is hard for her to take another's 
> > perspective, as it is for many kids including myself when I was her 
> > age. I wonder if requiring her to go along on your or her brother's 
> > errands, for example, might teach her how obnoxious it is when 
> > someone else is calling all the shots or making her do things she 
> > doesn't enjoy doing. It could also be a good way to teach 
> > compromise, if she has to go along on an outing or activity someone 
> > else enjoys and she doesn't, but then in return if she is 
> > cooperative she can choose the next outing or activity for the family.
> > I also think that sometimes blind kids can put on a bossy front to 
> > regain control in environments where much of the action is 
> > inaccessible to them. If all the kids on the playground are playing 
> > sports that aren't adapted or are excluding a blind child from their 
> > games, the blind child's best defense may be to come up with 
> > activities she can do and then demand the other kids join her in 
> > those activities. It's worth making sure that the popular social 
> > activities, sports, etc. her peers are participating in are fully 
> > accessible so she is not limited to just one or two options.
> >
> > Best,
> > Arielle
> >
> >> On 6/1/14, oandemom . via blindkid <blindkid at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> >> Oooh, I know just the church thrift store where she can do that!  
> >> :)
> >>
> >> Thanks for the tip!
> >>
> >> Traci
> >>
> >>
> >> On Sun, Jun 1, 2014 at 5:46 PM, Marianne Denning <
> marianne at denningweb.com>
> >> wrote:
> >>
> >>> I had a blind student and her Mom took her to fold and hang 
> >>> clothes at a church where people can go to get clothing when they need this help.
> >>> It accomplished two things.  The student learned to fold and hang 
> >>> clothes very well and she learned to give back.  I tell all of my 
> >>> students that we need to move beyond independence to interdependence.
> >>> It is important that blind people give back as well as receive.
> >>>
> >>>> On 6/1/14, oandemom . via blindkid <blindkid at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> >>>> Hello!  I have a daughter, 9 and VI, who tends to be bossy and
> selfish.
> >>> I
> >>>> feel I have to watch her interact with other children b/c she has 
> >>>> a
> >>> strong
> >>>> personality and she wants to control what is being played.  I do 
> >>>> my
> best
> >>> on
> >>>> this front.   Lately she has been very selfish, unless it is something
> >>> that
> >>>> benefits her, she isn't interested (you would think she is a
> teenager!)
> >>>> -
> >>>> its very frustrating.  We talk about how she isn't allowed to 
> >>>> disrupt our family with her behavior (I do have some guidance 
> >>>> from a special behavior preschool that she attended but I'm going 
> >>>> off what I remember back
> then,
> >>>> but she attended mostly due to her social skills) - that she has 
> >>>> to
> be a
> >>>> helpful part of this family and do as she is told, etc.  Today, I 
> >>>> have
> >>> been
> >>>> reduced to making her write something 100 times because I just 
> >>>> don't know what to do with her anymore.
> >>>>
> >>>> I am trying to find some volunteer opportunities to have her give 
> >>>> of
> her
> >>>> time to help others and to think of others, but I know she will 
> >>>> think
> it
> >>> is
> >>>> fun, b/c she is "working"  - she loves to work.  She may like it 
> >>>> for 5
> >>> min
> >>>> and then be done, so it may actually work out okay, but I need to 
> >>>> try it.
> >>>> I thought of soup kitchens, but she won't get that visual effect 
> >>>> that
> is
> >>>> what I'm really looking for to make her have an appreciation of 
> >>>> what
> she
> >>>> does have.
> >>>>
> >>>> I don't really think taking things away from her will work, b/c 
> >>>> she
> >>> doesn't
> >>>> even know half the stuff in her room, she is so out of sight, out 
> >>>> of
> >>> mind.
> >>>>
> >>>> Does anyone know of any volunteer activities that they have done 
> >>>> or
> seen
> >>>> that a 9 year could be included in and really get something out of it.
> >>> We
> >>>> talk all the time about how there are many kids who don't have 
> >>>> what
> she
> >>>> has, etc etc, but it just doesn't click with her, as I'm sure it
> doesn't
> >>>> for many kids her age.
> >>>>
> >>>> I would appreciate ANY suggestions!!!
> >>>>
> >>>> Thanks,
> >>>> Traci
> >>>> _______________________________________________
> >>>> blindkid mailing list
> >>>> blindkid at nfbnet.org
> >>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindkid_nfbnet.org
> >>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info 
> >>>> for
> >>>> blindkid:
> >>>
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blindkid_nfbnet.org/marianne%40denni
> ngweb.com
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> --
> >>> Marianne Denning, TVI, MA
> >>> Teacher of students who are blind or visually impaired
> >>> (513) 607-6053
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> --
> >> Traci Wilkerson
> >> Cell – 919-971-6526
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--
Traci Wilkerson
Cell – 919-971-6526
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