[blindlaw] some questions

Sat Aug 6 12:13:31 UTC 2011

David, with all due respect, you're wrong about how Islam perceives the  
blind and blindness.  It isn't the religion or its values that pity the  
blind, and rather various cultural and political beliefs that perpetuate that  
stereotype.  You said "if his family comes from an Islamic background, and  
still holds to some of the tenants of the Koran and the Sharia, blindness is a 
 condition to be pitied, and blind people are those who are specifically  
identified as recipients of charity."  As a learned Muslim, I'd like to see  
direct citations in the Qur'an or Hadeeth that support this position.  In  
fact, Hadeeth point to the blind as often the most learned and wise.   Anyone 
who is economically disadvantaged, orphans, and widows are the categories  
expressly listed to be considered as charity recipients, when they need  it. 
 The notion that the Islamic religion expressly believes what you  
attribute to it is akin to the notion that any blind American walking down  the 
street should be given a dollar because blind should be pitied and taken  care 
of.  Most of us on this list would believe that statement is  proposterous, 
and the same is true anywhere else in the world.  Please,  check your facts 
before making such statements.  Incidentally, I am  personally offended by 
this depiction.

Beth, this is a challenging problem.  If you and your partner  wish to 
marry, there is no legal reason that I'm aware of that would prevent you  from 
doing so simply because you are blind - this is the case both hear and in  
somalia.  If he is Muslim and you wish to obtain an Islamic marriage,  you'll 
simply both need to be adults, have the requisite number of witnesses,  and 
have completed any type of pre-marrital counseling and marriage contract  
negotiations the sheikh and specific mosque require.  The fact that you are  
not Somali is not a factor that can prevent the legal marriage contract from  
being executed or enforced.  

However, the reception you get from the community is quite a different  
thing.  Statistically, there are many more Somali women in the world and in  
the U.S. than Somali men (largely due to the consequences of a civil war and  
current refugee migration systems that give priority to women and  
children).  It may be that these folks who disapprove of your marriage are  simply 
trying to "look out for their own," if you will, because if your fiance  
marries you, he won't marry a Somali woman.  

I'm a bit of a subject matter expert on the Somali diaspora, so feel free  
to email me off-list if you want to discuss this further.

Good luck, and congratulations!

Regards,
Ronza

In a message dated 8/5/2011 12:14:41 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,  
david.hyde at wcbvi.k12.wi.us writes:

I agree  with the others who have responded. On a purely cultural level, 
blindness is  viewed differently in his culture than it is in ours. Further, 
if his family  comes from an Islamic background, and still holds to some of 
the tenants of  the Koran and the Sharia, blindness is a condition to be 
pitied, and blind  people are those who are specifically identified as 
recipients of charity. If  these beliefs are deeply ingrained, there may be no hope 
of changing them. You  might try, if this be the case, talking some someone 
at a local mosque. If  they have a person whose opinion they value, and that 
person agrees with you,  get him, or her, to intercede.

Blindness in their country is almost  always, an unmitigated tragedy. There 
are very few opportunities. Attitudes  change very slowly. You may, 
ultimately, have to wed without their buy in. But  try everything else first. If 
you don't, you will wish you had. If you do  everything you can, then you can 
believe that you did your best. The parents  may, eventually come around.

-----Original Message-----
From:  blindlaw-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindlaw-bounces at nfbnet.org] On 
Behalf Of  Beth
Sent: Friday, August 05, 2011 8:36 AM
To:  blindlaw at nfbnet.org
Subject: [blindlaw] some questions

Hi,  guys.
I have some questions about a cultural conflict going  on with some people 
who are trying to prevent me and my current boyfriend from  marrying.  They 
state that because we are both totally blind, we would 1.  Not make good 
parents or are not fit to be parents.
2. Would be unable to  perform everyday tasks when indeed we've both 
graduated from the Colorado  Center for the Blind x number of months ago.
3. That my boyfriend would be  bored and lonely.  These men are Somali, so 
they state he should also  marry his own kind, surely a sign of 
discrimination.  They are not  willing to change.  How should we deal with them?   
Thanks.
Beth

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