[Blindtlk] Questions concerning how people look like

[hmp]

Hello.
 The reason I'm saying this is because my parents, and some of my 
friends, had told me about the facts about looks and everything. 
Perhaps my parents are wrong? Look, I can understand all about 
the insides of a person, and that they are very important to us. 
I trust that as well. When somebody isn't kind or "looks" not 
nice in the inside, I don't look up to her or him, and 
vice-versa. I too have a girlfriend and she is very nice. her 
name is Samantha. We've been so loyal to each other so well. 
We've been together for about three years and we're the same age. 
Also, we share a lot of things in common, a funny example of this 
is that she was born three days just after I was born!
I can see your point about feeling faces, and I think we 
shouldn't touch this topic on a mailing list, but I've done that 
once with my girlfriend. A trusted adult was guiding us, and we 
didn't have any problems. But again, if I'm being too 
intimidating, I'm sorry and especially on a mailing list.
Anyways, I see that it is reasonable why you say about the inside 
of a person are more important than what he or she looks like, I 
can understand why and how we use nonverbal communication and all 
about the subject matter. I can see that.
Some months ago I just read a book about a woman who became blind 
and it was all about her challenges and her whole story, etc. In 
her book, (it was actually an autobiography) she asked the same 
questions I just asked, her instructors she was working with, 
told her that the face thing is not a strict rule or something 
and that she could do it as long as she is respectful. But well 
this book's setting took place around 1969, and there were some 
conns and pros about this stuff too.

And again, sorry if I'm saying something wrong here. Thanks for 
your advice though, that is very helpful!
Humberto

> ----- Original Message -----
>From: Ray Foret jr <rforetjr at comcast.net
>To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org
>Date sent: Fri, 26 Feb 2010 04:17:48 -0600
>Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Questions concerning how people look like

>Umberto,

>Let me begin by dispelling the idea you seem to have in your head 
that the looks of a person are everything.  this, I assure you, 
is not so.  Yes, looks are important, and, it goes without saying 
that you yourself should look at least presentable.  Now, as to 
knowing how someone looks, I would say to you that you should not 
base your decision on just how the other person looks.  But, 
let's start with the question of facing the other person.

>	In this case, all you need really to do is to turn in the 
direction of the person's voice; and, this will put you 
facing that other person.  But, even if the other person is 
not speaking, you can usually tell where they are and if you 
begin by saying hello, their answer back will instantly give 
you all the information you really need to do this.

>	As for feeling other people's faces, wow!  You really want 
to avoid doing that for sure; that is, unless you don't mind 
the prospect of getting your own face slapped.  Man, that's 
something right out of a horror film from the 1930's.  The 
sound of the person's voice will tell you quite a lot about 
that person.  In fact, I believe that a person's voice gives 
away much more about that person than they ever realize.
>	Otherwise, you can find out some fact about the other person 
which you will find you have in common with them and use 
this as a starting point.  Let me give you a personal 
example of what I mean.  My girlfriend and I met on an 
e-mail list serve.  One night, I wrote her just to say "hi", 
and she answered me back by pointing out that she noticed my 
e-mail signature and said that she too loves to go 
barefooted all the time.  Well, that was the factor we have 
in common which served as a kind of jumping off point, if 
you will.  We just took it from there.  While her voice was 
not what I was hoping it would be, we were too much occupied 
with the task of deciding whether or not we could have a 
relationship.  When we did in fact first see each other in 
person, we knew that it would work.  In fact, she's on this 
list; and so, she may well have a thing or two to add in 
this regard.  I am told, by various family members and other 
friends who have seen her that she is very beautiful.  But, 
even if they had not so informed me, she would still be 
beautiful to me; even if her face and body were ghastly in 
appearance.  You see, it's what's on the inside of a person 
that really matters.  That's where  you really want to 
focus.
>Sincerely,
>The Constantly Barefooted Ray!!!

>Now a Mac user!!!

>e-mail:
>rforetjr at comcast dot net

>Skype:
>barefootedray

>On Feb 25, 2010, at 7:50 PM, hmp wrote:

>> TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:

>>    I'm very sure everyone in this mailing list is blind. Maybe 
some of you are not. And well, I have a curiosity, or a question, 
that maybe you can answer for me and if it is not that 
intimidating:
>>    As you know, sighted people tend to look at each other's 
face, or perhaps most of the body movements and the hands, while 
they're talking to each other. For example, when somebody is 
talking and facing another person, that person faces that other 
person, and he or she can look at the person's face. In addition, 
this does not happen when they are talking only; the person can 
just look at that other person, E.G. a boy says "hello" to a girl 
perhaps, and he looks at her because she is pretty (or she 
perhaps isn't) and he looks at her smile and he knows what she 
looks like. He can maybe remember her just through all those 
details of her. Furthermore, there are more case-scenarios out 
there that are very similar to this one.
>>    While sighted people do this, as far as blind people are 
concerned, is there any way a blind person can do the same things 
just like the sighted? Can a blind person tell how someone looks 
like by some technique or some information? If I want to know how 
someone looks like, what can I do? Sometimes I think that 
probably by touching faces I can get a general detail of what 
he/she is like, but some people may see this as an offensive 
thing. I have just a little bit of vision (mostly out of the 
corner of my right eye), but I cannot see well enough to see 
these things. I can only see very close objects or people. But 
anyways, if, for example, I meet a nice girl and she says hello 
to me, and she carries out a conversation with me. How can I get 
the physical description of her? How do I know if she is just 
smiling without laughing? How do I know what her hair looks like? 
maybe she has a pointy nose, a big/small mouth, and probably 
really all straight and white teeth! How can I know these things? 
I could perhaps ask her, "What do you look like?" but I've had 
bad experiences asking that question, although some people are 
kind and they tell me. Again, I don't see any bad thing by 
touching people's faces, however, I'm not sure if I should 
totally do it because of an offense or just being disrespectful.
>>    I am asking this question just for curiosity, and I'd like to 
see what you think about this. Any feedback and comments about 
this topic are welcome. I'd like to find out what other blind 
people have done to accomplish well this situation.

>> Thank you and have a very lucky day!

>> _______________________________________________
>> blindtlk mailing list
>> blindtlk at nfbnet.org
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindtlk_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account 
info for blindtlk:
>> 
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blindtlk_nfbnet.org/rforetj
r%40comcast.net


>_______________________________________________
>blindtlk mailing list
>blindtlk at nfbnet.org
>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindtlk_nfbnet.org
>To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info 
for blindtlk:
>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blindtlk_nfbnet.org/humbert
oa5369%40netzero.net