[Blindtlk] Questions concerning how people look like
Julie J
julielj at windstream.net
Sat Feb 27 13:26:27 UTC 2010
I'm wondering if you're in a different country than the U.S.? Perhaps the
social customs are different there?
Here, in the Midwest U.S. where I live, it is considered inappropriate to
touch anyone you don't know well in any manner other than a handshake. What
you do in private, more intimate, settings is entirely up to the individual.
I'm still not into face touching though. *smile*
Also please ask away with any questions you have. If a particular person
feels a question is to personal or is uncomfortable with answering they
don't have to. Me, I'm totally comfortable with talking about this topic.
Julie
----- Original Message -----
From: "hmp" <humbertoa5369 at netzero.net>
To: "Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, February 26, 2010 7:18 PM
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Questions concerning how people look like
> Hello.
> The reason I'm saying this is because my parents, and some of my friends,
> had told me about the facts about looks and everything. Perhaps my parents
> are wrong? Look, I can understand all about the insides of a person, and
> that they are very important to us. I trust that as well. When somebody
> isn't kind or "looks" not nice in the inside, I don't look up to her or
> him, and vice-versa. I too have a girlfriend and she is very nice. her
> name is Samantha. We've been so loyal to each other so well. We've been
> together for about three years and we're the same age. Also, we share a
> lot of things in common, a funny example of this is that she was born
> three days just after I was born!
> I can see your point about feeling faces, and I think we shouldn't touch
> this topic on a mailing list, but I've done that once with my girlfriend.
> A trusted adult was guiding us, and we didn't have any problems. But
> again, if I'm being too intimidating, I'm sorry and especially on a
> mailing list.
> Anyways, I see that it is reasonable why you say about the inside of a
> person are more important than what he or she looks like, I can understand
> why and how we use nonverbal communication and all about the subject
> matter. I can see that.
> Some months ago I just read a book about a woman who became blind and it
> was all about her challenges and her whole story, etc. In her book, (it
> was actually an autobiography) she asked the same questions I just asked,
> her instructors she was working with, told her that the face thing is not
> a strict rule or something and that she could do it as long as she is
> respectful. But well this book's setting took place around 1969, and there
> were some conns and pros about this stuff too.
>
> And again, sorry if I'm saying something wrong here. Thanks for your
> advice though, that is very helpful!
> Humberto
>
>> ----- Original Message -----
>>From: Ray Foret jr <rforetjr at comcast.net
>>To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org
>>Date sent: Fri, 26 Feb 2010 04:17:48 -0600
>>Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Questions concerning how people look like
>
>>Umberto,
>
>>Let me begin by dispelling the idea you seem to have in your head
> that the looks of a person are everything. this, I assure you, is not so.
> Yes, looks are important, and, it goes without saying that you yourself
> should look at least presentable. Now, as to knowing how someone looks, I
> would say to you that you should not base your decision on just how the
> other person looks. But, let's start with the question of facing the
> other person.
>
>> In this case, all you need really to do is to turn in the
> direction of the person's voice; and, this will put you facing that other
> person. But, even if the other person is not speaking, you can usually
> tell where they are and if you begin by saying hello, their answer back
> will instantly give you all the information you really need to do this.
>
>> As for feeling other people's faces, wow! You really want
> to avoid doing that for sure; that is, unless you don't mind the prospect
> of getting your own face slapped. Man, that's something right out of a
> horror film from the 1930's. The sound of the person's voice will tell
> you quite a lot about that person. In fact, I believe that a person's
> voice gives away much more about that person than they ever realize.
>> Otherwise, you can find out some fact about the other person
> which you will find you have in common with them and use this as a
> starting point. Let me give you a personal example of what I mean. My
> girlfriend and I met on an e-mail list serve. One night, I wrote her just
> to say "hi", and she answered me back by pointing out that she noticed my
> e-mail signature and said that she too loves to go barefooted all the
> time. Well, that was the factor we have in common which served as a kind
> of jumping off point, if you will. We just took it from there. While her
> voice was not what I was hoping it would be, we were too much occupied
> with the task of deciding whether or not we could have a relationship.
> When we did in fact first see each other in person, we knew that it would
> work. In fact, she's on this list; and so, she may well have a thing or
> two to add in this regard. I am told, by various family members and other
> friends who have seen her that she is very beautiful. But, even if they
> had not so informed me, she would still be beautiful to me; even if her
> face and body were ghastly in appearance. You see, it's what's on the
> inside of a person that really matters. That's where you really want to
> focus.
>>Sincerely,
>>The Constantly Barefooted Ray!!!
>
>>Now a Mac user!!!
>
>>e-mail:
>>rforetjr at comcast dot net
>
>>Skype:
>>barefootedray
>
>>On Feb 25, 2010, at 7:50 PM, hmp wrote:
>
>>> TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:
>
>>> I'm very sure everyone in this mailing list is blind. Maybe
> some of you are not. And well, I have a curiosity, or a question, that
> maybe you can answer for me and if it is not that intimidating:
>>> As you know, sighted people tend to look at each other's
> face, or perhaps most of the body movements and the hands, while they're
> talking to each other. For example, when somebody is talking and facing
> another person, that person faces that other person, and he or she can
> look at the person's face. In addition, this does not happen when they are
> talking only; the person can just look at that other person, E.G. a boy
> says "hello" to a girl perhaps, and he looks at her because she is pretty
> (or she perhaps isn't) and he looks at her smile and he knows what she
> looks like. He can maybe remember her just through all those details of
> her. Furthermore, there are more case-scenarios out there that are very
> similar to this one.
>>> While sighted people do this, as far as blind people are
> concerned, is there any way a blind person can do the same things just
> like the sighted? Can a blind person tell how someone looks like by some
> technique or some information? If I want to know how someone looks like,
> what can I do? Sometimes I think that probably by touching faces I can get
> a general detail of what he/she is like, but some people may see this as
> an offensive thing. I have just a little bit of vision (mostly out of the
> corner of my right eye), but I cannot see well enough to see these things.
> I can only see very close objects or people. But anyways, if, for example,
> I meet a nice girl and she says hello to me, and she carries out a
> conversation with me. How can I get the physical description of her? How
> do I know if she is just smiling without laughing? How do I know what her
> hair looks like? maybe she has a pointy nose, a big/small mouth, and
> probably really all straight and white teeth! How can I know these things?
> I could perhaps ask her, "What do you look like?" but I've had bad
> experiences asking that question, although some people are kind and they
> tell me. Again, I don't see any bad thing by touching people's faces,
> however, I'm not sure if I should totally do it because of an offense or
> just being disrespectful.
>>> I am asking this question just for curiosity, and I'd like to
> see what you think about this. Any feedback and comments about this topic
> are welcome. I'd like to find out what other blind people have done to
> accomplish well this situation.
>
>>> Thank you and have a very lucky day!
>
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>
>
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