[Blindtlk] Inferiority complex with disabilityvsnondisabledsociety

Wed Jun 2 20:53:07 UTC 2010

Peter, I started to reply several times. Gary and Steve both make good points. They said the things I wanted to say. Let me add that I know that I wouldn't have had the type of encouragement I have had were it not for being blind. I have had the boone of meeting more successful people than most, and finding that they are willing to share their secrets (mostly hard work and techniques that make sense once you learn them) with me. They then expected me to pass them on to others. I have learned to try my best.

You sound like a fellow who has a number of things going on at the same time. Please don't try to solve them all at once. If you can prioritize your needs (it's hard, but it is the only way to get them all down) and deal with them one at a time, you can see some progress. I think the hardest thing for me to learn, and to explain is that it is acceptable to fail. It doesn't mean that you are less of a person. Everyone fails at something. I keep trying new things, and I do some of them well, and some of them badly. It's interesting to see which I learn the most from.

Find some blind people who you like in your area. Find some who will teach you the things that they do. None of us would have planed to be blind, had we a choice. Since we didn't, some of us are happy, successful, and satisfied with life anyway. As I write, I remember a book I recently read by a fellow named Mike May. Mike now runs Sendero Group, doing GPS systems. He's a nice guy, and I met him long before he was successful. The book is called Crashing Through. I found it interesting in that Michael is a guy who just never learned to fail. He failed until he found ways to succeed. 

Don't know if this helps or not. Please let us know how you're doing.

-----Original Message-----
From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Dewey Bradley
Sent: Wednesday, June 02, 2010 1:40 PM
To: Blind Talk Mailing List
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Inferiority complex with disabilityvsnondisabledsociety

Garry makes some very good points indeed.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Graves, Diane" <dgraves at icrc.IN.gov>
To: "'Gary Wunder'" <gwunder at earthlink.net>; "'Blind Talk Mailing List'" 
<blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, June 02, 2010 12:04 PM
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Inferiority complex with disabilityvsnondisabledsociety

> Peter,
>
> Gary makes some very good points here as well. It would simply be 
> untrue for me to tell you that there are no advantages to being 
> sighted, or disadvantages to being blind. Just as there are advantages 
> to having money, v. not  having as much. If Bill Gates decides that he 
> wants to order a pizza on a Friday night for dinner, he doesn't have 
> to stop and think about whether or not he can afford it the way that I do.
>
> The point is though, that there are ways around most of these things. 
> We find those ways, most of them are not insurmountable,  and we lead 
> productive and full lives.
>
>
> Diane Graves
> Civil Rights Specialist
> Indiana Civil Rights Commission
> Alternative Dispute Resolutions Unit
> 317-232-2647
>
> "It is service that measures success."
> George Washington Carver
>
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> -----Original Message-----
> From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] 
> On Behalf Of Gary Wunder
> Sent: Wednesday, June 02, 2010 12:25 PM
> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Inferiority complex with disability vs 
> nondisabledsociety
>
> Peter, you have asked many questions and I am certain in one sitting I 
> can't begin to response to them all. Even this assumes I know all the 
> answers, which I most certainly do not.
>
> I throw out these ideas and observations with the suggestion that you 
> take what you like and leave the rest. It does no good to compare 
> yourself with what you might have been. In the first place, you don't 
> know what you might have been. I might be angry because my Dad was the 
> owner of a successful construction business which I could have run and 
> might be far better off financially than I am now. Without sight, I 
> can't run the heavy equipment so perhaps I should be angry. Because I 
> am blind, I traveled a different road, went to college, got a degree, 
> and work as a computer programmer. That college experience introduced 
> me to good books, to different thoughts about the world, and to a 
> tolerance of other people I'd never have gotten had I stayed at home. 
> Which life is the better? Unfortunately this is a question without an 
> answer. I have to make of my life what is possible, without spending 
> too much time grieving about some alternative future.
> In your note you acknowledge a lot of problems. Acknowledging one has 
> a problem is often the first step on the road to solving it, but 
> sometimes that acknowledgement is simply a way of stating the problem 
> and the more we state it, the more we come to like the way we say it. 
> We grow accustomed to the burden of that problem, and rather than 
> using our admission to solve it, we carry it like a badge of honor.
>
> In my own work, I can tell you that blineness makes many things hard 
> which others find easy. They see computer screens and what is wanted 
> from them is obvious. I hear computer screens and have to often work 
> pretty hard to figure out what is wanted and where I am on the screen. 
> I can make a real case for how disadvantaged this makes me, but the 
> more important thing is that I figure it out and be productive enough 
> I can bring home a pay check.
>
> You talk about the country in which you were born. There may be better 
> countries in which to be blind, but I am certain the majority are worse.
> In
> your country you have the opportunity to make a contract with our people.
> That contract says that we, all of us, will help you with training and 
> equipment if, in return, you will try your hardest to take that 
> equipment and training and put it to a productive use - preferably a 
> use which will pay you. You will then pay taxes, buy a home, support 
> your local businesses, not to mention Wal-Mart, and everyone wins. 
> Winning isn't easy, but it is far easier than carrying around the 
> anger for what you might have been if only you had tried.
>
> Take your anger and, if you can, turn it into resolve. Look at your 
> situation, acknowledge there are disadvantages, and at the same time 
> determine how you can benefit from where you find yourself. If you 
> constantly live with the dream of driving the car you once had, you'll 
> be disappointed. If you live with the dream of the dcar which may come 
> to be if we who are blind work together, then your sadness may just 
> become a tool for hope.
>
> I wish you all the luck in the world, and where luck stops and 
> personal responsibility begins, I wish you the courage to take it on.
>
>
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