[Blindtlk] To Cane or Not To Cane?

Julie J julielj at neb.rr.com
Mon Feb 28 00:48:58 UTC 2011 

Jessica,

I think this is a dilemma that most of us have wrestled with.  My views have 
changed over the years.  I used to very extremely rarely go sighted guide 
with anyone, no matter how large the crowd or how many times I got 
separated.  But it was what I needed to do back then.  My use of the cane 
was fairly new.  I was still grappling with my identity as a blind person. 
I needed to use the cane exclusively for my own sense of 
confidence/independence/sanity?  I'm not sure which word is the best.

Now, though, I do go sighted guide fairly frequently when I'm out with my 
sighted husband, at least when I don't have my guide dog along.  I'm 
perfectly comfortable with any of the three, sighted guide, cane or dog.  I 
chose what will work best for me in which situation.  I do still use my cane 
along with sighted guide.  I get distracted by things, let go of my 
husband's arm and go check them out.  Having the cane in hand allows me the 
freedom to wander off independently, but taking my husband's arm allows us 
to have a nice conversation without spending all my mental energy on keeping 
track of where he is.

I also need to add that my sighted husband has never asked me to leave my 
cane behind and has never made a comment about me using it along with taking 
his arm.  He is completely comfortable with me going out without him.  My 
husband and I tend to do more things individually than we do together, so my 
skills are in daily practice.  I'm not worried about losing any independence 
because of going sighted guide.

I think what it really comes down to is balance.  I hope you find what works 
for you.

Julie




----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Jessica Kostiw" <jessicac.kostiw at gmail.com>
To: "'Blind Talk Mailing List'" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>; "'Pamela Allen'" 
<pallen at lcb-ruston.com>
Sent: Sunday, February 27, 2011 3:41 PM
Subject: [Blindtlk] To Cane or Not To Cane?


> Hello List,
> This is Jessica Kostiw.  I have been on this list for quite a while,
> but do not post very often.  I am hoping to get some good advice on an 
> issue
> that I am sure we have all faced.
>
> I am a Louisiana Center for the Blind graduate, and well appreciate the
> important of the travel skills I acquired there.
> If you are like me though, the significant majority of your time is spent
> with other sighted people.  My longtime boyfriend Jon is sighted.  He has
> actually purchased a cane from the NFB and wants to go under sleep shades 
> to
> see what it is like.  The thing is on the one hand he is very supportive,
> but more and more when we are together in a store or something would very
> much rather that I just take his hand.  He says it's quicker and makes 
> more
> sense, but I want to be able to be independent.  I don't see why he can't
> just walk by me and give me directions or something.  When we do that
> though, he says he feels like he is just calling a dog.  He may as well 
> ring
> a cowbell.  He can't keep up chatter all the time and becomes harder for 
> me
> to follow.  People give dirty looks like "why isn't that guy helping that
> blind lady?"  Part of me understands what he is saying, I have heard the
> same arguments from my mom.  My sister is so impatient and always just
> insists that I take her elbow.  I live in Virginia.  There is no public
> transportation where I live, and I am concerned that always being around
> sighted people with this attitude will eventually cause me to lose my
> skills.  This Email is focusing on the situation with Jon only because I 
> am
> concerned about our future.  We are definitely working towards marriage 
> and
> children and all that and I don't want to feel like I am completely
> dependent on my husband and can't equally contribute when we take any 
> future
> children out in public.  We have already agreed that we will live in an 
> area
> with good public transportation so I won't feel dependent and can do 
> things
> on my own, but again what about when we are together?   Do I have to
> sacrifice my independence to make it easier on him?
>
> Any incite would be greatly appreciated!!
> Jessica
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Chris Judd
> Sent: Thursday, February 10, 2011 2:31 AM
> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] [PM] Facebook with jaws
>
> I tried accessing the facebook lite site, and it worked.
> http://lite.facebook.com
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Bonnie Lucas" <lucas.bonnie at gmail.com>
> To: "'Blind Talk Mailing List'" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Thursday, February 10, 2011 12:47 AM
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] [PM] Facebook with jaws
>
>
> Not sure what has happened but we discovered the same thing today as well.
> Perhaps it is something that will be fixed soon. My daughter and I tried
> everything to get it to let us click on things but it would not. Not sure
> what's up!
> Bonnie
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of humberto
> Sent: Wednesday, February 09, 2011 7:35 PM
> To: gui-talk at nfbnet.org; nfbcs at nfbnet.org
> Cc: blindTlk at nfbnet.org
> Subject: [Blindtlk] [PM] Facebook with jaws
>
> ---- Original Message ------
> From: Michelle Abadia <michelle.abadia at verizon.net
> Subject: [PM] Facebook with jaws
> Date sent: Wed, 09 Feb 2011 06:40:45 -0500
>
> Hi.
>
> I apologize for the unrelated topic.
> I've been using Facebook successfully on my windows 7 laptop,
> using (www.m.facebook.com), which I think our litt moderator
> suggested because (www.facebook.com) wasn't very accessible with
> jaws.
> This morning, I come to find that now, m.facebook.com isn't
> accessible either! Everything is preceeded by "same page link",
> and when I click on something or try to write a message, the
> system won't let me. This happened overnight, because I was able
> to work on Facebook just 24 hours ago.
>
> Could someone please give me some assistance with this off list
> at
> Michelle.abadia at verizon.net
> ?
>
> Thanks so much in advance.
>
> Michelle Abadia
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