[Blindtlk] To Cane or Not To Cane?

Tue Mar 1 13:03:58 UTC 2011

I do think it's important for you to keep up your cane skills.  I'm not 
exactly sure what the best way to do that would be, given your situation. 
Absolutely no public transportation would be a terrible thing, and, 
fortunately, I've never lived in a place where I had to experience that.  Is 
it possible for you to walk around your neighborhood or, are there any 
stores in the area to which you could walk?

Another thought is, when you need to go shopping, maybe you could ask John, 
or someone else to take you and meet you at a designated place, later. 
Then, they could leave you to do your shopping and you could maintain your 
cane skills.

I wish you luck with finding a workable solution to this issue.

Cindy
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Jessica Kostiw" <jessicac.kostiw at gmail.com>
To: "'Blind Talk Mailing List'" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, February 28, 2011 10:16 PM
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] To Cane or Not To Cane?

Hello List,
I appreciate the amount of discussion and feedback that this topic
has generated.  This is why I am a member of the NFB!  When we all have
those every day quandaries, it is easy to get a number of opinions, ideas,
and suggestions.

I haven't finished reading through all the messages yet, but I think I
should clarify some.  Jon doesn't care that I bring my cane, he even
encourages it.  Our issue is that when we are walking I worry that if I am
always taking his elbow than I am not practicing cane travel.  At centers
like Louisiana, Minnesota, and Colorado you are around other blind people
24/7.  In the real world, however, the majority of time is spent with
sighted people.  If you constently say "Oh, I'll just take your arm" than
aren't you eventually going to lose the structure discovery that you learned
at the center?  Won't confidence weign?  How do you strike a balance?
Jessica

-----Original Message-----
From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Brian Miller
Sent: Sunday, February 27, 2011 5:28 PM
To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] To Cane or Not To Cane?

Hi Jessica,

Thank you for sharing what I'm sure is a common dilemma.  I think it often
makes more sense to take your sighted partner's elbow and go sighted guide
in crowded public spaces, plus it's sometimes just nice to walk together.
However, I always use my cane in addition to taking a friend or family
member's elbow.  It's when they say, "Hey, can't you put that cane away
while I'm guiding you?" that you have a problem.  This signals deeper issues
with blindness and social stigma that needs to be address.

The key is making sure you always have your cane with you, and do as much on
your own as you can to maintain skills, confidence, and independence.  I
believe one does lose fluency with the cane the less you use it.

Just as your boyfirend doesn't want to feel like he's simply barking
directions at a dog, and feeling like a jerk, you also don't want to feel
like an appendage of your boyfriend, or for him to feel as though he's your
assistant, not your boyfirend.  These are tricky things to navigate, and the
more openly you can discuss it, the better. Its' actually good that your
boyfirend is being so frank with you about how he feels in this regard, so
long as he's sharing his concerns sincerely and with openness to your needs.

Good luck,
Brian Miller
-----Original Message-----
From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Michelle Medina
Sent: Sunday, February 27, 2011 5:34 PM
To: Blind Talk Mailing List
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] To Cane or Not To Cane?

I just returned from San Antonio TX, and was with my friend, but I to used
my cane often, even in crowds, especially in crowds, and alot of the time, I
tried to just walk near her.

On 2/27/11, Marion Gwizdala <blind411 at verizon.net> wrote:
> Jessica,
>     when I was dating my ex-wife who is sighted, she would always
> encourage me to put my cane away when we were together and just hold
> her hand. One day we were walking through the mall and she turned to
> look at something. Just as she did, she ran me into one of those metal
> signs a business had parked in the walkway. It fell to the ground with
> a crash that was probably heard from one end of the mall to the other.
> "That's why I use my cane!" I told her as I took it out of my pocket
> and unfolded it. She never complained about me using my cane after that.
>     I would still hold her hand and she would give me direction
> through our hand-holding but I used my cane in conjunction with her
> sighted guide. Still today, whenever I use sighted guide, I always use my
cane too!
>
> fraternally yours,
> Marion Gwizdala
>
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Jessica Kostiw" <jessicac.kostiw at gmail.com>
> To: "'Blind Talk Mailing List'" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>; "'Pamela Allen'"
> <pallen at lcb-ruston.com>
> Sent: Sunday, February 27, 2011 4:41 PM
> Subject: [Blindtlk] To Cane or Not To Cane?
>
>
>> Hello List,
>> This is Jessica Kostiw.  I have been on this list for quite a while,
>> but do not post very often.  I am hoping to get some good advice on
>> an issue that I am sure we have all faced.
>>
>> I am a Louisiana Center for the Blind graduate, and well appreciate
>> the important of the travel skills I acquired there.
>> If you are like me though, the significant majority of your time is
>> spent with other sighted people.  My longtime boyfriend Jon is
>> sighted.  He has actually purchased a cane from the NFB and wants to
>> go under sleep shades to see what it is like.  The thing is on the
>> one hand he is very supportive, but more and more when we are
>> together in a store or something would very much rather that I just
>> take his hand.  He says it's quicker and makes more sense, but I want
>> to be able to be independent.  I don't see why he can't just walk by
>> me and give me directions or something.  When we do that though, he
>> says he feels like he is just calling a dog.  He may as well ring a
>> cowbell.  He can't keep up chatter all the time and becomes harder
>> for me to follow.  People give dirty looks like "why isn't that guy
>> helping that blind lady?"  Part of me understands what he is saying,
>> I have heard the same arguments from my mom.  My sister is so
>> impatient and always just insists that I take her elbow.  I live in
>> Virginia.  There is no public transportation where I live, and I am
>> concerned that always being around sighted people with this attitude
>> will eventually cause me to lose my skills.  This Email is focusing
>> on the situation with Jon only because I am concerned about our
>> future.  We are definitely working towards marriage and children and
>> all that and I don't want to feel like I am completely dependent on
>> my husband and can't equally contribute when we take any future
>> children out in public.  We have already agreed that we will live in
>> an area with good public transportation so I won't feel dependent and
>> can do things
>> on my own, but again what about when we are together?   Do I have to
>> sacrifice my independence to make it easier on him?
>>
>> Any incite would be greatly appreciated!!
>> Jessica
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org
>> [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Chris Judd
>> Sent: Thursday, February 10, 2011 2:31 AM
>> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] [PM] Facebook with jaws
>>
>> I tried accessing the facebook lite site, and it worked.
>> http://lite.facebook.com
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Bonnie Lucas" <lucas.bonnie at gmail.com>
>> To: "'Blind Talk Mailing List'" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Thursday, February 10, 2011 12:47 AM
>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] [PM] Facebook with jaws
>>
>>
>> Not sure what has happened but we discovered the same thing today as
well.
>> Perhaps it is something that will be fixed soon. My daughter and I
>> tried everything to get it to let us click on things but it would
>> not. Not sure what's up!
>> Bonnie
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org
>> [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of humberto
>> Sent: Wednesday, February 09, 2011 7:35 PM
>> To: gui-talk at nfbnet.org; nfbcs at nfbnet.org
>> Cc: blindTlk at nfbnet.org
>> Subject: [Blindtlk] [PM] Facebook with jaws
>>
>> ---- Original Message ------
>> From: Michelle Abadia <michelle.abadia at verizon.net
>> Subject: [PM] Facebook with jaws
>> Date sent: Wed, 09 Feb 2011 06:40:45 -0500
>>
>> Hi.
>>
>> I apologize for the unrelated topic.
>> I've been using Facebook successfully on my windows 7 laptop, using
>> (www.m.facebook.com), which I think our litt moderator suggested
>> because (www.facebook.com) wasn't very accessible with jaws.
>> This morning, I come to find that now, m.facebook.com isn't
>> accessible either! Everything is preceeded by "same page link", and
>> when I click on something or try to write a message, the system won't
>> let me. This happened overnight, because I was able to work on
>> Facebook just 24 hours ago.
>>
>> Could someone please give me some assistance with this off list at
>> Michelle.abadia at verizon.net ?
>>
>> Thanks so much in advance.
>>
>> Michelle Abadia
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--
I'm trying to understand the choices you made as a young man, Dad. I'm
trying and failing and in agony because I must go back to a home that is not
my home.
San Antonio:
I love you and I miss you already and I haven't even left yet.

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