[Blindtlk] dating sighted people Vs. Blind people?

Thu May 26 23:19:18 UTC 2011

Paul, that is absolutely the coolest post I have ever seen.  It is so 
refreshing to see that love can exist after all of those years.  My 
husband and I just celebrated our 25th anniversary and he is just as 
amazing now as when I met him at a convention in Kansas City.  I 
dated both blind and sighted men and never had any difficulty getting 
dates, but my first husband was blind and my second and final husband 
is also legally blind, but has useful vision.  However, I didn't 
marry either man because of their vision or lack thereof.  I also 
think that it might be easier for women, especially younger blind 
women, to get dates.  During those teenage years, sad but true, young 
women are looking for guys with cars or another means of 
transportation other than public, or at least that is how it was when 
I was a teenager.  My husband pointed that out to me, stating that he 
couldn't get a date in high school because he was not able to 
drive.  Lucky for me, those girls don't know the awesome person they 
missed out on.
   At 03:57 PM 5/26/2011, you wrote:
>I have a date with a sighted person tonight.  We began dating over 28
>years ago, got married, raised five kids and still have not stopped
>dating.  I am as eager to have dinner with her tonight as I was the
>first time we went to Carl's Jr and split an order of fries (all we
>could afford at the time!)
>Paul
>
>"making the cross accessible"
>Rev Paul Weingartner
>National Representative for the Blind
>Director of
>Center for the Blind of the Assemblies of God
>P 417.831.1964   F 417.862.5120
>www.blind.ag.org
>I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the
>glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18
>
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>On Behalf Of Beverly Hunter
>Sent: Thursday, May 26, 2011 1:27 PM
>To: Blind Talk Mailing List
>Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] dating sighted people Vs. Blind people?
>
>I whole-heartedly agree!!!!!
>
>
>----- Original Message -----
>From: "Rex Leslie Howard, Jr." <rex at littlelaw.com>
>To: "'Blind Talk Mailing List'" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>Sent: Thursday, May 26, 2011 1:41 PM
>Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] dating sighted people Vs. Blind people?
>
>
>Spot on Jessica.
>
>Very well articulated posts on this discussion.
>
>
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>On
>Behalf Of Jessica Kostiw
>Sent: Thursday, May 26, 2011 12:16 PM
>To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List'
>Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] dating sighted people Vs. Blind people?
>
>This is an interesting topic that has been brought up many times... but
>for
>a reason.  The head of the Parents division... who's name escapes me at
>the
>moment... gave an excellent speech on the topic.
>
>In a nut shell, the message below is dead on!  I have dated both blind
>and
>sighted men.  Currently I am in a year-and-a-half relationship with a
>sighted guy.  Since actions speak louder than words, I will tell you
>that we
>are avid hikers, runners, and thanks to him I now am whitewater
>kayaking.
>The point is, though there are sighted people out there who may not give
>us
>a second glance, most people will.  If blind people only hang out with
>blind
>people than they will most likely befriend and date only blind people.
>If
>that is what they want, then to each his own.  Isn't that limiting
>themselves as much as a sighted person who doesn't give a blind person a
>chance though.
>
>To answer the original question, dating blind or sighted people is just
>different.  Sure sighted people can drive us around, they can describe
>things to us, but are you looking for a partner or a care taker?  This
>attitude opens the door to an unhealthy dependency.
>
>There is an unforeseen advantage to dating a fellow blind person.  They
>understand and relate to the daily frustrations in a way that the
>sighted
>partner cannot.  This may sound small, but in my experience it is
>actually
>huge.  There is no "educating" that needs to be done.  They share in
>ideas
>of alternative techniques.  There is no risk of losing independence.  In
>my
>relationship now, I am struggling with when to use my cane and when to
>just
>take Jon's arm.  I feel like if I take his arm too much than I will lose
>my
>skills, and besides what signal is that sending him?
>
>Again to the mother of the blind child, one of the best gifts you can
>give
>your child is to surround him/her with both blind and sighted people
>alike.
>Again, neither is better or worse than the other, they are just
>different.
>
>
>Jessica Kostiw
>-----Original Message-----
>From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>On
>Behalf Of Penny Duffy
>Sent: Wednesday, May 25, 2011 10:19 PM
>To: Blind Talk Mailing List
>Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] dating seaghted people Vs. Blind people?
>
>I am a sighted parent of a blind child.  I feel most sighed people can
>come
>to realize that blindness is just a characteristic.  I don't place
>limited
>on my child because she is blind.  I would hope when my child is old
>enough
>to start dating that she doesn't limit herself. She should have high
>expectations of sighted people.  I want my child to find someone who
>respects her, that find her amazing, beautiful and smart (and much more)
>If
>that person is sighted or blind it doesn't matter because I believe it
>doesn't matter.   Will it matter to my daughter I honestly don't know.
>
>The very first blind person I really met (beyond some much older
>relatives)
>was my daughter.  Most sighted people simply have had the chance.  I am
>just
>a mommy. I don't know whats it like to be blind and I know that many
>sighted
>people do have low expectations of the blind but I also know that many
>sighted people just need to be show by example that those misconceptions
>are
>simple misguided.
>
>
>--
>--Penny
>----------
>Adventures with Abby - visionfora.blogspot.com
>
>
>On Wed, May 25, 2011 at 9:23 PM, Humberto <humbertoa5369 at netzero.net>
>wrote:
>
> > Hello dear listers,
> >
> > I'm wanting to know, and I've been curious about, your opinions on the
> > topic stated in the subject line. I think this discussion has been
>shared
> > already on this list a little bit but it would be good for us to
>discuss
> > this as a matter of opinions are concerned.
> > So, let me begin by asking, what do you think about going out with a
> > sighted person Vs. a blind person? Are there any main differences, if
>any,
> > on dating blind people or sighted people? Will a blind person expect
>to
>date
> > or marry another blind person? If I date a sighted person, for
>instance,
> > will I have to deal with the blindness misconceptions that people
>sometimes
> > have? How can a blind person get that sighted person to think that the
>blind
> > person can become a competent member of society by doing everything
>else
> > that a sighted person can do.
> > I myself have a blind girlfriend, and yes, we enjoy each other as much
>as
>2
> > sighted people will enjoy each other's engagement. I've been going
>with
>her
> > for about 4 years now, and we still keep in touch.
> > would it be different if I make the choice to go out with a sighted
>girl,
> > yet knowing that my blindness is just a characteristic? Will she
>understand
> > that?
> > I ask these questions only for your thoughts, and I wouldn't just want
>to
> > start a huge debate here. I must stress, though, that if I do choose
>to
>date
> > a sighted girlfriend, she must know that my blindness will not stop me
>from
> > doing anything that I want to, and having high expectations.
> > But is there anything that, specifically speaking, a sighted person
>looks
> > for when he or she is trying to date a blind person, versus a blind
>person
> > trying to date a blind person? Is personal gloaming a big deal for
>this?
> > Have you guy gone through experiences like that, whether you decide to
>date
> > someone who is sighted or who is blind? I know this might seem quite
> > obvious, but I understand that, unfair or fair as it might seem,
>sighted
> > people, the first thing they look at, is how you look. They first look
>at
> > you visually and they know immediately whether to stick with one or
>not.
> > Any thoughts? Opinions? experiences? questions?
> >
> > Cheers,  Humberto
> >
> > _______________________________________________
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>.com
> >
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