[Blindtlk] Hiring a Driver

Wed Dec 11 02:00:59 UTC 2013

Desiree,

I know it's a complicated situation you have with your parents, but
for your own benefit and knowledge, just want to mention there's a
wealth of research showing that having an active social life is
helpful, if not essential, for promoting adults' physical and mental
health. I hope this knowledge can help you avoid internalizing
inaccurate beliefs about how friendships and relationships should
figure into your life.

Best,
Arielle

On 12/10/13, Judy Jones <jtj1 at cableone.net> wrote:
> Hello,
>
> I do agree that transportation is a real issue not easily gotten around,
> unless one can actually move to an area with better transportation.  What
> one would have to pay out in rent, utilities and groceries might be worth
> the freedom and independence transit can give, not to mention a boost in
> self-esteme.  I'd rather have a place around good transit than a
> well-appointed home with no transit.  Would be like being the proverbial
> prisoner in a castle.
>
> Judy
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Desiree Oudinot
> Sent: Tuesday, December 10, 2013 6:14 PM
> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Hiring a Driver
>
> Hi,
> The reason I asked that particular question is because my parents seem
> to think that, once you become an adult, having a social life is
> unnecessary and counterproductive. I don't want to go too far into it,
> because I know that personal anecdotes are usually met with a lot of
> criticism on this listserv, so let's leave it at that.
> Thanks for your response.
>
> On 12/10/2013 7:47 PM, justin williams wrote:
>> It's actually not juvenile to desire a social life; you deserve a social
>> life too.  That is a very normal thing and everyone performs better in
>> school and in life when they have one.  A church would expect a certain
>> level of involvement; probably attendance in Sunday service.
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Desiree
>> Oudinot
>> Sent: Tuesday, December 10, 2013 6:39 PM
>> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Hiring a Driver
>>
>> Hi,
>> I, too, live in a rural area of PA, so your message really resonated with
>> me. I have some questions and concerns that perhaps you can shed some
>> light
>> on.
>> I also don't get out of my house very often. There is no Paratransit
>> service. My family is either working or, let's just say, not being
>> supportive of me. If I wanted to go somewhere, I would have to call a
>> cab,
>> and we all know how expensive that can be, particularly when we're not
>> just
>> talking about riding down a few city blocks, but for several miles to get
>>
>> to
>> the grocery store or what have you.
>> As for hiring a driver, I'll admit that I've never actually tried it, but
>> because of the fact that things aren't exactly close at hand, I would
>> think
>> I would have to pay an arm and a leg to get any kind of services.
>> I disagree that taking a class at a community college is as easy as
>> you're
>> making it sound. When I was considering taking that route, my VR
>> counselor
>> told me flat out that transportation could not be provided to and from
>> the
>> college because it was too far away. they also wouldn't pay for the
>> classes
>> because you have to take at least 12 credits in order for the state to
>> fund
>> it. Community college courses may not be terribly expensive, but for
>> folks
>> like Michelle and myself who live on SSI, providing our own
>> transportation,
>> plus paying for the class would simply not be feasible.
>> I also have to ask this, and I'm not trying to start an argument, so
>> please
>> take it as a general query only. If I started calling around to local
>> churches, wouldn't I have to be a member of their congregation before
>> they
>> would even think about providing rides? I consider myself to be a
>> non-denominational Christian. I believe, but I do not want to be a part
>> of
>> an organized religion. I feel that I am entitled to this opinion, and
>> that
>> just because I'm blind, I shouldn't have to join an organization that
>> I'll
>> most likely be uncomfortable with just to be able to go places. I feel
>> that's unfair both to myself and to the people who might provide
>> transportation. They would expect a certain level of faith and
>> involvement
>> from me that I can't give, and I would expect them not to badger me about
>> it. Either way you slice it, it doesn't seem right.
>> It seems like it would cause a lot of strife and ill will.
>> I could be wrong about this, but I wish there were other places one could
>> reach out to that didn't have that kind of burden attached to it.
>> Furthermore, how would payment be handled if you needed to travel a long
>> distance? For example, many of my friends live at least an hour away. I
>> haven't seen them in years. I wouldn't really expect someone to drive
>> that
>> far just to fulfill such a personal need. If I did, I would probably feel
>> obligated to pay them as much money as a cab company would charge to go
>> such
>> a long distance. It's one thing if I need to go to the doctor or the
>> store;
>> things that adults do, in other words. But I would feel highly
>> uncomfortable
>> with expecting someone to chauffeur me for long distances just because I
>> would like a social life. Is that really as juvenile as I think it is?
>> Again, I'm asking this in all seriousness, because I don't know.
>>
>>
>> On 12/9/2013 3:19 PM, Ericka Short wrote:
>>> I usually refrain from taking sides but as a trained social worker I
>>> have to agree with Dave.  The rest of the world doesn't know you exist
>>> and they won't come to you so you have to make an effort.  I was
>>> raised in a town of just over 10,000 which was the county seat.  There
>>> was no transit available at all.  You either waked, rode with  family
>>> or a friend, neighbor etc. Call any faith-based organization, share
>>> your situation and they will help you.  Perhaps the county social
>>> services needs to hear your story so they can help.  I hope the fact
>>> you could be the instigator of change in you community for the better
>>> motivates you to look into things more.  This is coming from someone
>>> so shy nobody  heard me speak in public until I was in 7th grade.
>>> College was very liberating and I dropped the shy person I was for the
>>> most part and found my voice.
>>>
>>> If it is a college class you want to take, contact the disability
>>> services program for ideas before signing up.  This is part of their
>>> job.  They are there to help with more than just get your books in a
>>> special format or help you find your way around. Contact the state
>>> services for the blind or office of the  blind. In WI the office for
>>> the blind works strictly with adults who are either not working or are
>>> in retirement and need help doing daily living tasks.  No matter what
>>> state, you are not alone Michelle. There are a lots of people in WI
>>> stuck in rural areas with nothing but 300 residents, a bar, a church
>>> and perhaps a convenience store.  Neighbors are miles away, not just
>>> down the street.  Just keep looking.
>>>
>>> Ericka J. Short
>>> 262-697-0510
>>>
>>> "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". Philippians
>>> 4:13
>>>
>>> "No hand is too small or too big to do good in this world." EJ. Short
>>>
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>>> .
>>>
>> --
>> Desiree
>>
>>
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>
> --
> Desiree
>
>
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