[Blindtlk] Hiring a Driver

Wed Dec 11 15:44:21 UTC 2013

That may indeec be the underlying problem -- her parents may consider that
blind people are, or ought to be, asexual.

Mike

-----Original Message-----
From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Linda
Sent: Tuesday, December 10, 2013 7:20 PM
To: Blind Talk Mailing List
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Hiring a Driver

I do not understand this.  If adults are not supposed to have a social life,
how would one meet a potential mate?  The only men who asked me to lunch
were the ones I met when I was out of the house living my life.  Unless a
marriage is arranged by the parents, how else would a person get married and
have a family?  

> On Dec 10, 2013, at 8:14 PM, Desiree Oudinot <turtlepower17 at gmail.com>
wrote:
> 
> Hi,
> The reason I asked that particular question is because my parents seem to
think that, once you become an adult, having a social life is unnecessary
and counterproductive. I don't want to go too far into it, because I know
that personal anecdotes are usually met with a lot of criticism on this
listserv, so let's leave it at that.
> Thanks for your response.
> 
>> On 12/10/2013 7:47 PM, justin williams wrote:
>> It's actually not juvenile to desire a social life; you deserve a social
>> life too.  That is a very normal thing and everyone performs better in
>> school and in life when they have one.  A church would expect a certain
>> level of involvement; probably attendance in Sunday service.
>> 
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Desiree
>> Oudinot
>> Sent: Tuesday, December 10, 2013 6:39 PM
>> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Hiring a Driver
>> 
>> Hi,
>> I, too, live in a rural area of PA, so your message really resonated with
>> me. I have some questions and concerns that perhaps you can shed some
light
>> on.
>> I also don't get out of my house very often. There is no Paratransit
>> service. My family is either working or, let's just say, not being
>> supportive of me. If I wanted to go somewhere, I would have to call a
cab,
>> and we all know how expensive that can be, particularly when we're not
just
>> talking about riding down a few city blocks, but for several miles to get
to
>> the grocery store or what have you.
>> As for hiring a driver, I'll admit that I've never actually tried it, but
>> because of the fact that things aren't exactly close at hand, I would
think
>> I would have to pay an arm and a leg to get any kind of services.
>> I disagree that taking a class at a community college is as easy as
you're
>> making it sound. When I was considering taking that route, my VR
counselor
>> told me flat out that transportation could not be provided to and from
the
>> college because it was too far away. they also wouldn't pay for the
classes
>> because you have to take at least 12 credits in order for the state to
fund
>> it. Community college courses may not be terribly expensive, but for
folks
>> like Michelle and myself who live on SSI, providing our own
transportation,
>> plus paying for the class would simply not be feasible.
>> I also have to ask this, and I'm not trying to start an argument, so
please
>> take it as a general query only. If I started calling around to local
>> churches, wouldn't I have to be a member of their congregation before
they
>> would even think about providing rides? I consider myself to be a
>> non-denominational Christian. I believe, but I do not want to be a part
of
>> an organized religion. I feel that I am entitled to this opinion, and
that
>> just because I'm blind, I shouldn't have to join an organization that
I'll
>> most likely be uncomfortable with just to be able to go places. I feel
>> that's unfair both to myself and to the people who might provide
>> transportation. They would expect a certain level of faith and
involvement
>> from me that I can't give, and I would expect them not to badger me about
>> it. Either way you slice it, it doesn't seem right.
>> It seems like it would cause a lot of strife and ill will.
>> I could be wrong about this, but I wish there were other places one could
>> reach out to that didn't have that kind of burden attached to it.
>> Furthermore, how would payment be handled if you needed to travel a long
>> distance? For example, many of my friends live at least an hour away. I
>> haven't seen them in years. I wouldn't really expect someone to drive
that
>> far just to fulfill such a personal need. If I did, I would probably feel
>> obligated to pay them as much money as a cab company would charge to go
such
>> a long distance. It's one thing if I need to go to the doctor or the
store;
>> things that adults do, in other words. But I would feel highly
uncomfortable
>> with expecting someone to chauffeur me for long distances just because I
>> would like a social life. Is that really as juvenile as I think it is?
>> Again, I'm asking this in all seriousness, because I don't know.
>> 
>> 
>>> On 12/9/2013 3:19 PM, Ericka Short wrote:
>>> I usually refrain from taking sides but as a trained social worker I
>>> have to agree with Dave.  The rest of the world doesn't know you exist
>>> and they won't come to you so you have to make an effort.  I was
>>> raised in a town of just over 10,000 which was the county seat.  There
>>> was no transit available at all.  You either waked, rode with  family
>>> or a friend, neighbor etc. Call any faith-based organization, share
>>> your situation and they will help you.  Perhaps the county social
>>> services needs to hear your story so they can help.  I hope the fact
>>> you could be the instigator of change in you community for the better
>>> motivates you to look into things more.  This is coming from someone
>>> so shy nobody  heard me speak in public until I was in 7th grade.
>>> College was very liberating and I dropped the shy person I was for the
>>> most part and found my voice.
>>> 
>>> If it is a college class you want to take, contact the disability
>>> services program for ideas before signing up.  This is part of their
>>> job.  They are there to help with more than just get your books in a
>>> special format or help you find your way around. Contact the state
>>> services for the blind or office of the  blind. In WI the office for
>>> the blind works strictly with adults who are either not working or are
>>> in retirement and need help doing daily living tasks.  No matter what
>>> state, you are not alone Michelle. There are a lots of people in WI
>>> stuck in rural areas with nothing but 300 residents, a bar, a church
>>> and perhaps a convenience store.  Neighbors are miles away, not just
>>> down the street.  Just keep looking.
>>> 
>>> Ericka J. Short
>>> 262-697-0510
>>> 
>>> "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". Philippians
>>> 4:13
>>> 
>>> "No hand is too small or too big to do good in this world." EJ. Short
>>> 
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>>> 
>>> .
>> --
>> Desiree
>> 
>> 
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>> 
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> 
> -- 
> Desiree
> 
> 
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