[Blindtlk] Hiring a Driver

Wed Dec 11 16:18:39 UTC 2013

True, but I can understand if one is living under parents' roof you want to 
be respectful, and would take some planning tact and organization to be able 
to get out from under the roof.

Years ago when my husband and I sold our first house, we stayed with his 
parents for a month until the house sold and we could move elsewhere.  They 
were gracious enough to let us stay with them, but it did feel good to be 
able to move out.  I think that once an adult, it is hard to stay under 
parents' roof, no matter how well you get along, but, of course, each 
situation is different.  I do know of friends, not blind friends, who are 
still with one parent or another and do just fine.

Judy

-----Original Message----- 
From: Lauren Merryfield
Sent: Wednesday, December 11, 2013 12:17 AM
To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Hiring a Driver

Hi,
I would think that what your parents think is just that; what they think. It
doesn't have to be what you think.
Thanks
Lauren

-----Original Message-----
From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Desiree
Oudinot
Sent: Tuesday, December 10, 2013 5:15 PM
To: Blind Talk Mailing List
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Hiring a Driver

Hi,
The reason I asked that particular question is because my parents seem to
think that, once you become an adult, having a social life is unnecessary
and counterproductive. I don't want to go too far into it, because I know
that personal anecdotes are usually met with a lot of criticism on this
listserv, so let's leave it at that.
Thanks for your response.

On 12/10/2013 7:47 PM, justin williams wrote:
> It's actually not juvenile to desire a social life; you deserve a
> social life too.  That is a very normal thing and everyone performs
> better in school and in life when they have one.  A church would
> expect a certain level of involvement; probably attendance in Sunday
service.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of
> Desiree Oudinot
> Sent: Tuesday, December 10, 2013 6:39 PM
> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Hiring a Driver
>
> Hi,
> I, too, live in a rural area of PA, so your message really resonated
> with me. I have some questions and concerns that perhaps you can shed
> some light on.
> I also don't get out of my house very often. There is no Paratransit
> service. My family is either working or, let's just say, not being
> supportive of me. If I wanted to go somewhere, I would have to call a
> cab, and we all know how expensive that can be, particularly when
> we're not just talking about riding down a few city blocks, but for
> several miles to get to the grocery store or what have you.
> As for hiring a driver, I'll admit that I've never actually tried it,
> but because of the fact that things aren't exactly close at hand, I
> would think I would have to pay an arm and a leg to get any kind of
services.
> I disagree that taking a class at a community college is as easy as
> you're making it sound. When I was considering taking that route, my
> VR counselor told me flat out that transportation could not be
> provided to and from the college because it was too far away. they
> also wouldn't pay for the classes because you have to take at least 12
> credits in order for the state to fund it. Community college courses
> may not be terribly expensive, but for folks like Michelle and myself
> who live on SSI, providing our own transportation, plus paying for the
class would simply not be feasible.
> I also have to ask this, and I'm not trying to start an argument, so
> please take it as a general query only. If I started calling around to
> local churches, wouldn't I have to be a member of their congregation
> before they would even think about providing rides? I consider myself
> to be a non-denominational Christian. I believe, but I do not want to
> be a part of an organized religion. I feel that I am entitled to this
> opinion, and that just because I'm blind, I shouldn't have to join an
> organization that I'll most likely be uncomfortable with just to be
> able to go places. I feel that's unfair both to myself and to the
> people who might provide transportation. They would expect a certain
> level of faith and involvement from me that I can't give, and I would
> expect them not to badger me about it. Either way you slice it, it doesn't
seem right.
> It seems like it would cause a lot of strife and ill will.
> I could be wrong about this, but I wish there were other places one
> could reach out to that didn't have that kind of burden attached to it.
> Furthermore, how would payment be handled if you needed to travel a
> long distance? For example, many of my friends live at least an hour
> away. I haven't seen them in years. I wouldn't really expect someone
> to drive that far just to fulfill such a personal need. If I did, I
> would probably feel obligated to pay them as much money as a cab
> company would charge to go such a long distance. It's one thing if I
> need to go to the doctor or the store; things that adults do, in other
> words. But I would feel highly uncomfortable with expecting someone to
> chauffeur me for long distances just because I would like a social life.
Is that really as juvenile as I think it is?
> Again, I'm asking this in all seriousness, because I don't know.
>
>
> On 12/9/2013 3:19 PM, Ericka Short wrote:
>> I usually refrain from taking sides but as a trained social worker I
>> have to agree with Dave.  The rest of the world doesn't know you
>> exist and they won't come to you so you have to make an effort.  I
>> was raised in a town of just over 10,000 which was the county seat.
>> There was no transit available at all.  You either waked, rode with
>> family or a friend, neighbor etc. Call any faith-based organization,
>> share your situation and they will help you.  Perhaps the county
>> social services needs to hear your story so they can help.  I hope
>> the fact you could be the instigator of change in you community for
>> the better motivates you to look into things more.  This is coming
>> from someone so shy nobody  heard me speak in public until I was in 7th
grade.
>> College was very liberating and I dropped the shy person I was for
>> the most part and found my voice.
>>
>> If it is a college class you want to take, contact the disability
>> services program for ideas before signing up.  This is part of their
>> job.  They are there to help with more than just get your books in a
>> special format or help you find your way around. Contact the state
>> services for the blind or office of the  blind. In WI the office for
>> the blind works strictly with adults who are either not working or
>> are in retirement and need help doing daily living tasks.  No matter
>> what state, you are not alone Michelle. There are a lots of people in
>> WI stuck in rural areas with nothing but 300 residents, a bar, a
>> church and perhaps a convenience store.  Neighbors are miles away,
>> not just down the street.  Just keep looking.
>>
>> Ericka J. Short
>> 262-697-0510
>>
>> "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". Philippians
>> 4:13
>>
>> "No hand is too small or too big to do good in this world." EJ. Short
>>
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>> .
>>
> --
> Desiree
>
>
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--
Desiree

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