[Blindtlk] Hiring a Driver

Wed Dec 11 17:03:13 UTC 2013

I'm coming to this conversation late, so I apologize in advance that I 
haven't read all the messages on this topic.  I did catch Judy's below 
message and I couldn't agree more.

I, too, live in a small, small town of about 8,000.  This means that the 
sidewalks are rolled up at 5 o'clock, softball league in the park is high 
end entertainment and fine dining is Pizza Hut.  Sometimes those things get 
to me, but the trade off has been worth it to me.  I am able to walk most 
everywhere I want to go.  If I take a wrong turn and end up in the wrong 
part of town, I'm not in mortal danger.  My Kiddo is safe out and about by 
himself.  The air is fresh and clean.  We don't have fluoride in the water 
and I can have chickens if I keep them 50 feet from the neighbors house.  I 
haven't been able to bring myself to take the plunge into backyard chickens, 
but it does make me smile when I hear clucking in someone else's yard when I 
walk by.  This is home.

I've lived in big cities with buses, museums and fancy restaurants.  Those 
things are nice and I do sometimes long for them, but the choice to live 
here is one that I don't regret.

Maybe it comes down to figuring out what the most important things are and 
moving yourself toward those things, realizing that everything comes at a 
price.

Julie

-----Original Message----- 
From: Judy Jones
Sent: Wednesday, December 11, 2013 10:33 AM
To: Blind Talk Mailing List
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Hiring a Driver

I know, I understand.  The only things we can do on the list because it is a
list, is offer general solutions, because we don't live in each other's
areas of the country.  I'm very sorry if these feel like band-aid answers,
because they aren't meant to be.  The suggestions are places to start,
things to think about.  I personally think rural is great, I live in a
smaller town myself, but when you do, it's all about gains and losses.
You're absolutely right, services should have expanded, and we need more
services in our area, and I think that's always been the case with services.
Even back in the 80s when there were grant monies to be had, there was never
enough to expand services for where they need to be and how often they're to
be received.  So, the final conclusion is:  is getting what you want worth
giving up what you have?  In some instances, the answer can be yes.

My husband and I are both blind, and when he early retired, we decided to
move here from a bigger city.  Granted, our transportation isn't that great,
and we do miss that, but the cost of living is lower, people very friendly,
and the town is a good place to live.  I am back working, by choice, after
having raised our daughters.  Life is, in fact, all about choices, and one
is always having to give up to get.

Judy

-----Original Message----- 
From: Michelle Medina
Sent: Wednesday, December 11, 2013 8:32 AM
To: Blind Talk Mailing List
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Hiring a Driver

And this is why I don't keep up with discussions from here that ask for
help.
Talk to your pastor, I don't have one.
Talk to your friends, I have only online friends.
Talk to social services, I'm hooked into foodstamps, soon to be with
adult Medicaid which will give me a bit more time out, and already
hooked into medical.

I'm not looking for college, already been there done that.

Or screw the family, I have a 6-month-old niece. I'm not moving to a
place where I can't see her, currently I live right next door and can
walk to see her.
Why the he** is it always about giving up things as opposed to
expanding services, that should have been expanded years ago when
Desiree and I were both still in school!!?
Anybody in a rural area is always in the wrong, voc rehab is THE ONLY
way to go, and we're supposed to go to services, they aren't supposed
to expand to reach us.
Wow, just wow.

Then again, all this talk may be obsoleet for me anyway, since I just
received some medical news that if true, will most likely kill me, so
nothing that's been said here really matters in that case. . .

On 12/11/13, justin williams <justin.williams2 at gmail.com> wrote:
> That's terrible; as soon as someone starts telling me stuff like that, I
> tune them out.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Arielle
> Silverman
> Sent: Tuesday, December 10, 2013 10:37 PM
> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Hiring a Driver
>
> I'm wondering if what they are opposed to is having a social life at all,
> or
> having a social life with other blind people? I'm guessing maybe the
> friends
> you want to visit, who live far away, are blind?
> I mention this because I too have had difficulties in the past with 
> members
> of my family not accepting my blind-friend network as a real social
> network.
> It's much better now, but when I was in college, they would constantly
> encourage me to "get out there and make friends" and not to hang out with
> my
> blind friends too much. I think on some level they thought my friendships
> with other blind people weren't mature, real friendships.
> Arielle
>
> On 12/10/13, Linda <waterinmyroom at gmail.com> wrote:
>> I do not understand this.  If adults are not supposed to have a social
>> life, how would one meet a potential mate?  The only men who asked me
>> to lunch were the ones I met when I was out of the house living my
>> life.  Unless a marriage is arranged by the parents, how else would a
>> person get married and have a family?
>>
>>> On Dec 10, 2013, at 8:14 PM, Desiree Oudinot
>>> <turtlepower17 at gmail.com>
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>> Hi,
>>> The reason I asked that particular question is because my parents
>>> seem to think that, once you become an adult, having a social life is
>>> unnecessary and counterproductive. I don't want to go too far into
>>> it, because I know that personal anecdotes are usually met with a lot
>>> of criticism on this listserv, so let's leave it at that.
>>> Thanks for your response.
>>>
>>>> On 12/10/2013 7:47 PM, justin williams wrote:
>>>> It's actually not juvenile to desire a social life; you deserve a
>>>> social life too.  That is a very normal thing and everyone performs
>>>> better in school and in life when they have one.  A church would
>>>> expect a certain level of involvement; probably attendance in Sunday
> service.
>>>>
>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>> From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of
>>>> Desiree Oudinot
>>>> Sent: Tuesday, December 10, 2013 6:39 PM
>>>> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
>>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Hiring a Driver
>>>>
>>>> Hi,
>>>> I, too, live in a rural area of PA, so your message really resonated
>>>> with me. I have some questions and concerns that perhaps you can
>>>> shed some light on.
>>>> I also don't get out of my house very often. There is no Paratransit
>>>> service. My family is either working or, let's just say, not being
>>>> supportive of me. If I wanted to go somewhere, I would have to call
>>>> a cab, and we all know how expensive that can be, particularly when
>>>> we're not just talking about riding down a few city blocks, but for
>>>> several miles to get to the grocery store or what have you.
>>>> As for hiring a driver, I'll admit that I've never actually tried
>>>> it, but because of the fact that things aren't exactly close at
>>>> hand, I would think I would have to pay an arm and a leg to get any
>>>> kind of services.
>>>> I disagree that taking a class at a community college is as easy as
>>>> you're making it sound. When I was considering taking that route, my
>>>> VR counselor told me flat out that transportation could not be
>>>> provided to and from the college because it was too far away. they
>>>> also wouldn't pay for the classes because you have to take at least
>>>> 12 credits in order for the state to fund it. Community college
>>>> courses may not be terribly expensive, but for folks like Michelle
>>>> and myself who live on SSI, providing our own transportation, plus
>>>> paying for the class would simply not be feasible.
>>>> I also have to ask this, and I'm not trying to start an argument, so
>>>> please take it as a general query only. If I started calling around
>>>> to local churches, wouldn't I have to be a member of their
>>>> congregation before they would even think about providing rides? I
>>>> consider myself to be a non-denominational Christian. I believe, but
>>>> I do not want to be a part of an organized religion. I feel that I
>>>> am entitled to this opinion, and that just because I'm blind, I
>>>> shouldn't have to join an organization that I'll most likely be
>>>> uncomfortable with just to be able to go places. I feel that's
>>>> unfair both to myself and to the people who might provide
>>>> transportation. They would expect a certain level of faith and
>>>> involvement from me that I can't give, and I would expect them not
>>>> to badger me about it. Either way you slice it, it doesn't seem
>>>> right.
>>>> It seems like it would cause a lot of strife and ill will.
>>>> I could be wrong about this, but I wish there were other places one
>>>> could reach out to that didn't have that kind of burden attached to
>>>> it.
>>>> Furthermore, how would payment be handled if you needed to travel a
>>>> long distance? For example, many of my friends live at least an hour
>>>> away. I haven't seen them in years. I wouldn't really expect someone
>>>> to drive that far just to fulfill such a personal need. If I did, I
>>>> would probably feel obligated to pay them as much money as a cab
>>>> company would charge to go such a long distance. It's one thing if I
>>>> need to go to the doctor or the store; things that adults do, in
>>>> other words. But I would feel highly uncomfortable with expecting
>>>> someone to chauffeur me for long distances just because I would like
>>>> a social life. Is that really as juvenile as I think it is?
>>>> Again, I'm asking this in all seriousness, because I don't know.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>> On 12/9/2013 3:19 PM, Ericka Short wrote:
>>>>> I usually refrain from taking sides but as a trained social worker
>>>>> I have to agree with Dave.  The rest of the world doesn't know you
>>>>> exist and they won't come to you so you have to make an effort.  I
>>>>> was raised in a town of just over 10,000 which was the county seat.
>>>>> There was no transit available at all.  You either waked, rode with
>>>>> family or a friend, neighbor etc. Call any faith-based
>>>>> organization, share your situation and they will help you.  Perhaps
>>>>> the county social services needs to hear your story so they can
>>>>> help.  I hope the fact you could be the instigator of change in you
>>>>> community for the better motivates you to look into things more.
>>>>> This is coming from someone so shy nobody  heard me speak in public
> until I was in 7th grade.
>>>>> College was very liberating and I dropped the shy person I was for
>>>>> the most part and found my voice.
>>>>>
>>>>> If it is a college class you want to take, contact the disability
>>>>> services program for ideas before signing up.  This is part of
>>>>> their job.  They are there to help with more than just get your
>>>>> books in a special format or help you find your way around. Contact
>>>>> the state services for the blind or office of the  blind. In WI the
>>>>> office for the blind works strictly with adults who are either not
>>>>> working or are in retirement and need help doing daily living
>>>>> tasks.  No matter what state, you are not alone Michelle. There are
>>>>> a lots of people in WI stuck in rural areas with nothing but 300
>>>>> residents, a bar, a church and perhaps a convenience store.
>>>>> Neighbors are miles away, not just down the street.  Just keep
>>>>> looking.
>>>>>
>>>>> Ericka J. Short
>>>>> 262-697-0510
>>>>>
>>>>> "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me".
>>>>> Philippians
>>>>> 4:13
>>>>>
>>>>> "No hand is too small or too big to do good in this world." EJ.
>>>>> Short
>>>>>
>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>> blindtlk at nfbnet.org
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>>>>> %40
>>>>> gmail.com
>>>>>
>>>>> .
>>>> --
>>>> Desiree
>>>>
>>>>
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>>>>
>>>>
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>>>
>>> --
>>> Desiree
>>>
>>>
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>>
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