[Blindtlk] visually impaired married to a sighted

Sat Mar 16 04:00:19 UTC 2013

Do you guys work? 

-----Original Message-----
From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jessica Kostiw
Sent: Saturday, March 16, 2013 10:36 PM
To: Blind Talk Mailing List
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] visually impaired married to a sighted

I love the idea of a monthly meal planning calendar! Though I have lived on my own previously, for some reason cooking dinner and cleaning in a home with two people is very very different! Neither my husband nor I is very organized… Frankly, he is a slob! I feel like all I do is laundry and housework, and we don't even have children yet. Cooking and planning meals every night is really daunting! Either we have a meal on the table, and the house is a mess, or the other way around. I apologize if this is a little disjointed, I am dictating it from my cell phone. To illustrate my organization point, the other day my in-laws came over and said why is there an machete on your kitchen table! I had no idea it was even there! Who the heck would guess and machete would be sitting on the kitchen table? How long does it take to get a cooking and cleaning rhythm down? I think someone mentioned earlier that their husband didn't really care if things were disorganized, mine doesn't seem to either. For a blind person though, and one who struggles with organization myself, it is pure torture!

Sent from my iPhone

On Mar 16, 2013, at 9:30 AM, "Julie J." <julielj at neb.rr.com> wrote:

> Ericka,
> 
> My husband is sighted.  Before me he knew one other blind person and she had only been blind for a short time before he met me.  So his firsthand experience with blindness was extremely limited.   I think this actually turned out to be a good thing because he  hadn't come to a lot of odd assumptions about what I could and couldn't do.
> 
> We have been married for 8 years now.  Anyway from the beginning I would just explain what would be helpful and what wouldn't as things came up in everyday life.  When we went to a restaurant and he tried to steer me from behind pressing on my shoulders, what is affectionately called the wheelbarrow method, I asked him to please never do that again.  I explained that I find it extremely disconcerting and awkward.  Instead I asked that he give me verbal directions or offer his arm for me to take.    I absolutely insist that whatever mobility method I use at any given moment, cane, guide dog, sighted guide or nothing, that it is always my choice.
> 
> Our method for the mail and bills is this.  Whomever comes home first grabs the mail out of the box.  It goes on the end of the dining room table for sorting.  My husband sorts through the mail, putting my letters in a pile on the designated corner of my desk where I have asked him to put them.  I go through my mail myself using a CCTV.  We have split up our household bills so that we are each responsible or specific bills.   We have separate checking accounts.
> 
> I too live in a small town.  There is limited public transportation.  There is a door to door van service, a town to town van service, one taxi and shuttles that will take you to nearby larger cities that the local vans don't go to.  Mostly though, I walk.  The cool thing about little towns is that they are small enough that you can walk to most everything.  I can get to the bank, post office, courthouse, shopping, grocery stores, farmers market etc.  I cannot walk to WalMart, the hospital and one school where I have periodic meetings.  When I need a ride someplace I ask him.  If he is able to take me he'll let me know.  If he can't I ask someone else.
> 
> I agree organization is important.  Fortunately both my husband and myself are pretty organized.  We do have our individual messy spaces though.  His desk drives me nuts.  It's piles and piles of papers everywhere.   My craft supplies tend to be a bit wild too.  However the common living spaces are kept neat and organized.  It works for us.
> 
> Could you have him read the credit card number to you so you could put it into a format that allows you independent access?  Maybe write it in bold black marker, Braille or audio?   Then you could use it to pay on line bills or internet shopping or whatever you needed.
> 
> I agree with the suggestion to check out what services are available in your state.  I think when you feel more comfortable and confident in yourself that it will ease your husband's mind.
> 
> Julie
> 
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