[Blindtlk] visually impaired married to a sighted

Tue Mar 19 05:04:43 UTC 2013

Don't knock it till you've tried it.  *smiles*

Judy

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Mike Freeman" <k7uij at panix.com>
To: "'Blind Talk Mailing List'" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Sunday, March 17, 2013 10:37 AM
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] visually impaired married to a sighted

> Bear in mind that gurus such as "flylady" may come to do good but they end 
> by doing very well (on the backs of the rest of us -- grin).
>
> Mike Freeman
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of justin 
> williams
> Sent: Saturday, March 16, 2013 9:22 AM
> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] visually impaired married to a sighted
>
> I admire you golks for staying in there and trying to make it work even 
> when your requests fall upon deaf ears.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Julie J.
> Sent: Sunday, March 17, 2013 9:21 AM
> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] visually impaired married to a sighted
>
> I found flylady very helpful in getting a routine of cleaning, cooking and 
> errands figured out.  She can be a bit over the top about organization, 
> but if you go in with the idea that I'm going to use what works and leave 
> the rest, you'll be okay.  NLS has her book, I've forgotten the title, a 
> search for flylady should find it.  She also has a website and various 
> reminder email lists.
>
> There are also lots of aps where you can enter reminders, to do lists and 
> set up reminder alarms.  I have found these help me develop habits of 
> getting routine things done at the same time each day.  then after a month 
> or two I can shut off the reminder alarm because it is an established 
> habit.
>
> I also like Zenhabits.com for lots of ideas on positive life changes.
> He has advice on forming habits, increasing productivity, living with 
> less, and feeling more at peace.  The site is also one of the most 
> uncluttered, easy to navigate places on the internet.  No ads, no 
> pictures, no junk, just clear text articles.  Very nice.
>
> HTH
> Julie
>
>
> On 3/15/2013 11:00 PM, justin williams wrote:
>> Do you guys work?
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of
>> Jessica Kostiw
>> Sent: Saturday, March 16, 2013 10:36 PM
>> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] visually impaired married to a sighted
>>
>> I love the idea of a monthly meal planning calendar! Though I have lived 
>> on my own previously, for some reason cooking dinner and cleaning in a 
>> home with two people is very very different! Neither my husband nor I is 
>> very organized… Frankly, he is a slob! I feel like all I do is laundry 
>> and housework, and we don't even have children yet. Cooking and planning 
>> meals every night is really daunting! Either we have a meal on the table, 
>> and the house is a mess, or the other way around. I apologize if this is 
>> a little disjointed, I am dictating it from my cell phone. To illustrate 
>> my organization point, the other day my in-laws came over and said why is 
>> there an machete on your kitchen table! I had no idea it was even there! 
>> Who the heck would guess and machete would be sitting on the kitchen 
>> table? How long does it take to get a cooking and cleaning rhythm down? I 
>> think someone mentioned earlier that their husband didn't really care if 
>> things were disorganized, mine doesn't seem to either. For a blind person 
>> though, and one who struggles with organization myself, it is pure 
>> torture!
>>
>>
>>
>> Sent from my iPhone
>>
>> On Mar 16, 2013, at 9:30 AM, "Julie J."<julielj at neb.rr.com>  wrote:
>>
>>> Ericka,
>>>
>>> My husband is sighted.  Before me he knew one other blind person and she 
>>> had only been blind for a short time before he met me.  So his firsthand 
>>> experience with blindness was extremely limited.   I think this actually 
>>> turned out to be a good thing because he  hadn't come to a lot of odd 
>>> assumptions about what I could and couldn't do.
>>>
>>> We have been married for 8 years now.  Anyway from the beginning I would 
>>> just explain what would be helpful and what wouldn't as things came up 
>>> in everyday life.  When we went to a restaurant and he tried to steer me 
>>> from behind pressing on my shoulders, what is affectionately called the 
>>> wheelbarrow method, I asked him to please never do that again.  I 
>>> explained that I find it extremely disconcerting and awkward.  Instead I 
>>> asked that he give me verbal directions or offer his arm for me to take. 
>>> I absolutely insist that whatever mobility method I use at any given 
>>> moment, cane, guide dog, sighted guide or nothing, that it is always my 
>>> choice.
>>>
>>> Our method for the mail and bills is this.  Whomever comes home first 
>>> grabs the mail out of the box.  It goes on the end of the dining room 
>>> table for sorting.  My husband sorts through the mail, putting my 
>>> letters in a pile on the designated corner of my desk where I have asked 
>>> him to put them.  I go through my mail myself using a CCTV.  We have 
>>> split up our household bills so that we are each responsible or specific 
>>> bills.   We have separate checking accounts.
>>>
>>> I too live in a small town.  There is limited public transportation. 
>>> There is a door to door van service, a town to town van service, one 
>>> taxi and shuttles that will take you to nearby larger cities that the 
>>> local vans don't go to.  Mostly though, I walk.  The cool thing about 
>>> little towns is that they are small enough that you can walk to most 
>>> everything.  I can get to the bank, post office, courthouse, shopping, 
>>> grocery stores, farmers market etc.  I cannot walk to WalMart, the 
>>> hospital and one school where I have periodic meetings.  When I need a 
>>> ride someplace I ask him.  If he is able to take me he'll let me know. 
>>> If he can't I ask someone else.
>>>
>>> I agree organization is important.  Fortunately both my husband and 
>>> myself are pretty organized.  We do have our individual messy spaces 
>>> though.  His desk drives me nuts.  It's piles and piles of papers 
>>> everywhere.   My craft supplies tend to be a bit wild too.  However the 
>>> common living spaces are kept neat and organized.  It works for us.
>>>
>>> Could you have him read the credit card number to you so you could put 
>>> it into a format that allows you independent access?  Maybe write it in 
>>> bold black marker, Braille or audio?   Then you could use it to pay on 
>>> line bills or internet shopping or whatever you needed.
>>>
>>> I agree with the suggestion to check out what services are available in 
>>> your state.  I think when you feel more comfortable and confident in 
>>> yourself that it will ease your husband's mind.
>>>
>>> Julie
>>>
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