[Blindtlk] Being Disrespected: How to Handle

[Carly Mihalakis]

Good morning, Gary,

         I would like to thank you, second your 
statement of how we need not position ourselves, 
relative to our folks natural caretakers as 
adversaries. it might mean more to you, that is, 
you relationship with your folks than particular 
separatist, entirely self-direction. That's for 
you to figure out but, remember you don't need to 
change anyone bu   more than say, the teachings 
of which ever independent blinAt 07:47 AM 
9/30/2014, Gary Wunder via blindtlk wrote:
>Hello, Brandon. I am fifty-nine years old, and though I know that my parents
>respect me very much, I still don't have the same kind of relationship with
>them that I do with friends and other family members. They are parents. They
>are used to caretaking. They are absolutely certain I need their advice. It
>doesn't matter whether the advice has to do with a cobweb they think I don't
>know about or how my grandson buys too much at the store and how they helped
>me by putting some of the things from the shopping basket back on the shelf.
>
>I notice that I am speaking of my parents as they, although my mother died
>about six years ago. When she came to my house it was not uncommon for her
>to walk around with a paper towel grabbing up dog hair. It didn't even
>matter that my father laughed at her for doing it. She was going to be
>helpful.
>
>I don't know how we do it, but I think many of us figure out that
>relationships with parents are never going to be relationships among equals.
>My father believes that I can write far better than he can. He thinks that I
>have people skills that are better than his. But he still thinks I am naïve
>when it comes to matters of race, gender, politics, how to spend money, how
>to discipline children, and what is involved in having a marriage where the
>man is the man and the woman is the woman. Most certainly I tolerate
>comments and behavior from my father that I would not tolerate from anyone
>else. There are things that I let go by without arguing that I would go to
>the mat with others about.
>
>None of this deals with your question about the house except to say that
>perhaps the most kind, loving, and helpful parents can at times be high
>maintenance. I remember what I regard as a particularly funny line from a
>situation comedy that I saw almost 40 years ago. A young woman tells a
>friend that she is afraid to go home and spend the night with her parents
>because her mom is such a caretaker that the main character is afraid that
>she would wake up in the morning to find herself in diapers. This is
>obviously an exaggerated situation comedy that has nothing to do with
>blindness but everything to do with parents finding it hard to regard their
>offspring as truly independent adults.
>
>Warmly,
>
>Gary
>
>
>
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