[Blindtlk] On-line Dating

[Arielle Silverman]

Hi all. I agree with requesting a picture just to see if he readily
provides one, because if he doesn't, that suggests he could have
something to hide. However, if I were online dating, I probably
wouldn't ask for a description of the guy's appearance before we met,
because I'd be worried this could bias my feelings about him. When
I've met guys in person, I never really knew what they looked like
until I had made the decision to be intimate with them based on
personality and other things which IMHO are more important reasons to
date someone. One of my past boyfriends was overweight, which I wasn't
aware of until we became intimate. Had I known this about him earlier,
I might have shallowly abandoned an opportunity for what turned out to
be a fun and fulfilling relationship. In my experience, physical
features are things that can grow on me after I've already established
a relationship, whereas other things like kindness, similar values,
intelligence, and sense of humor are things that need to be there from
the beginning-and those are things you can screen for during your
online and phone conversations. But I know not everyone will agree
with me about that, and despite popular opinion, blind people can have
strong preferences about the physical appearance of their potential
partners.
Arielle

On 5/25/15, robin.beautifullyblind--- via blindtlk <blindtlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> Thank you Alana and Judy!
>
>> On May 25, 2015, at 12:20 PM, Judy Jones via blindtlk
>> <blindtlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>
>> Right!  It's the initial precautions that helps one not to have a dating
>> experience shrouded in fear.
>>
>> Judy
>>
>>
>> -----Original Message----- From: robin.beautifullyblind--- via blindtlk
>> Sent: Monday, May 25, 2015 10:56 AM
>> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
>> Cc: robin.beautifullyblind at ymail.com ; Marion Gwizdala
>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] On-line Dating
>>
>> Hi Carly! Thank you for sharing your opinion. I understand what you're
>> saying, but it's not about distrust and fear, but rather being cautious. I
>> wouldn't be asking him for anything that I haven't supplied. He has seen
>> my pictures, and I am willing to give him my last name as well. It's
>> better to be safe than sorry.
>>
>>> On May 25, 2015, at 8:41 AM, Carly Mihalakis via blindtlk
>>> <blindtlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>>
>>> Morning, Robin,
>>>
>>> Why don't you get him, the guy, to describe the pic? I fear that any
>>> other eyes you get to describe the photo, might bring their own bi asses
>>> to how this poor guy may look, drawing flimsy conclusions based on what
>>> they see. In my own experience, not basing my attraction to said man on
>>> physical appearance is what ultimately worked in my favor, a plus for
>>> dating a blind woman. Don't ruin that magic for a photo you can't even
>>> appreciate personally, anyway! If you are not seeing the pic, don't
>>> bother him with that!
>>> Car/2015, Marion Gwizdala via blindtlk wrote:
>>>> Robin,
>>>>
>>>>       Why don't you just ask him for a pic? If he knows you are blind
>>>> and
>>>> wonders why you want a pic, tell him a friend will describe it to you.
>>>>
>>>> Marion Gwizdala
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>> From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of
>>>> robin.beautifullyblind--- via blindtlk
>>>> Sent: Saturday, May 23, 2015 10:24 PM
>>>> To: blindtlk at nfbnet.org
>>>> Cc: robin.beautifullyblind at ymail.com
>>>> Subject: [Blindtlk] Online Dating
>>>>
>>>> Hi all,
>>>>    I hope this doesn't sound crazy, but I'm stuck and in need of
>>>> suggestions. I am completely blind, and have started online dating.
>>>> Someone
>>>> to whom I have been talking to for a week and a half wants to meet for
>>>> coffee. The problem is that he has no pictures on his profile and I
>>>> don't
>>>> know his last name. I am trying to play it safe. A picture says a
>>>> thousand
>>>> words about a person. So, my question, how can I ask him for a picture?
>>>> Thanks in advance for your help!
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>>>
>>>
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