[Blindtlk] Just Venting!

[Ray Foret Jr]

Danielle,

Are you in Louisiana?  Perhaps as a first real step, you might want to give Pam Alan a call.  You'll be calling the Louisiana Center for the blind.  Call this number:
800-234-4166

I offer this in an effort to actually be substantively helpful.  Now, maybe you don't need the adult training program like what I went through, but, perhaps Pam can better direct you to help on a more effective basis.


Sincerely,
The Constantly Barefooted Ray

Still a happy Mac, Verizon Wireless iPhone 6+ and Apple TV user!

Sent from my Mac,
the only computer with full accessibility for the blind built-in

> On May 30, 2015, at 3:14 PM, Danielle Antoine via blindtlk <blindtlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> right on point Ray. My only other options are go to a shelter or try
> school again I don't know wwho could be in such need as to ruin one
> person's life in particular? I unfortunately have never lied to the
> government.I don't know how a person could trump their nees over
> innocent children. Young innocent and even a person's unborn children.
> How is that conscionable and all-around excusable?
> 
> Quite frankly, I feel like me and my children have been, in effect,
> murdered! What's funny, fun, cool and all alright about that? The only
> reason I have written so poignantly hear is to save face for those who
> just might be innocent and frankly, I have no where else to find
> support since I am not involved in civil rights activism and I seem to
> get abandoned and attacked or silenced elsewhere and just to try and
> keep reasonably well I share in hope it REALLY WILL bring true,
> meaningful help for ME as well as shine light on an ongoing problem
> which I KNOW is drastically affecting others. Maybe someone WILL have
> the CORRECT solution to stop this madness.
> 
> Danielle
> P.S Sad when it feels like there is no help in sight or available to
> you and you alone.
> 
> On 5/30/15, Danielle Antoine <singingmywayin at gmail.com> wrote:
>> I'll keep trying with the government help.
>> 
>> On 5/30/15, Danielle Antoine <singingmywayin at gmail.com> wrote:
>>> Mostly out here, if you don't drive your option is a cab if not family
>>> and friends. Pretty much everybody works around here and it's about 20
>>> minutes to town so I am on my own. The places I have lived with family
>>> and friends since the divorce have been rural so transportation is
>>> always an issue. Even checking the papes most of the places available
>>> to rent appear to be rural and you need first month's rent and
>>> deposit. I could get that in a couple of monts or four time but then I
>>> have to have extra to sustain. Any ideas?I guess I'll keep trying w
>>> 
>>> On 5/30/15, Danielle Antoine <singingmywayin at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> Continuing on. Excuse the typos and lack of punctuation the last
>>>> message. NVDa went somewhere else and was silent whenever I would
>>>> arrowup, down, left or right so couldn't correct. So what I would need
>>>> is continuous, dependable cash, support, my own children tliving with
>>>> me, fully functioning dependable technology, and dependable
>>>> transportation that wouldn't cost me so much and a lack of negative
>>>> interference and lies.
>>>> 
>>>> Danielle
>>>> P.S I have beneifted from the government phone as well in the past. I
>>>> now still have a prepaid phone.
>>>> 
>>>> On 5/30/15, Danielle Antoine <singingmywayin at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>> Oh and thanks Ray. You know but it seems even everybody is  to the
>>>>> point of breaking How convenient. It is all a big act erm, race
>>>>> competition to see who can receive help or the most helpor and
>>>>> recognition or to get out of wrongdoing. You know like verybody wanna
>>>>> plead insanity toget out of making restitution for wrongdoing and pass
>>>>> the blame and responsibility to others no apologies necessary. That's
>>>>> what it all seems like to me. I am done leading with my heart! People
>>>>> are quick to take advantage that way. Peaople who really needhelp
>>>>> can't get it because somebody else who don't has beat them to the
>>>>> punch.
>>>>> 
>>>>> Judy, the answer is no. I had a plan and was working towards
>>>>> independence again and that got shot to hell. I mean after I got on
>>>>> SSI, I applied for Food Stamps which I had until the courts gave
>>>>> custody to my ex. Then, instead of decreasing me they automatically
>>>>> cut me off.
>>>>> Meanwhile, I had applied for, with the help of my sister and got a job
>>>>> substitute teaching but didn't have ransportation going back and
>>>>> forth, was living with another friend for a while but wsh suddenly
>>>>> acted like I was a burden before I ever got another call. I missed the
>>>>> first call because I had a prepaid phone and didn't have any minutes
>>>>> on the phone when the call came through. While living with that friend
>>>>> I got a list of low--income housing and went down the list for a
>>>>> second time and applied to all the apartments I could, but only got
>>>>> responses from one particular complex in my mother's name. I corrected
>>>>> the letter and told them yes I was interested and never heard from
>>>>> them again. Mind you I said second time because the first time I had
>>>>> done this when I had my kids with me and I also had gotten a housing
>>>>> voucher. I ended up losing my voucher because I had to move from my
>>>>> aunt's house since my ex would not follow the visitation rules and
>>>>> would pick up the children from school and drop them off periodically
>>>>> and my aunt became scared which lead to falling out. Now when I
>>>>> checked the last time the housing voucher list is closed as usual as
>>>>> it was in Baton rouge when I left. I have put in some applications at
>>>>> a nursing home here, a grocery store, the movie theater, and the
>>>>> school system as a bus assistant but haven't heard from them which I
>>>>> am not necessarily complaining about at this point because I have
>>>>> stiff joints and fatigue often but I don't have enough money saved up
>>>>> to travel everyday. My plan was to try and put an ad in the paper for
>>>>> a driver if I got called for interview I could do the bus assistant
>>>>> because they would be able to puck me up. I had an app for Teacher
>>>>> Assistant as we which would work with the bus but that was stolen
>>>>> twice. So, at this point I am broke and broken
>>>>> 
>>>>> Danielle
>>>>> 
>>>>> On 5/30/15, Carly Mihalakis via blindtlk <blindtlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>>>>> Good morning, Danielle,
>>>>>> 
>>>>>> What a racket!
>>>>>> 
>>>>>> Seems to me, you could be far too invested in, as I like to think of
>>>>>> them, have been within my own experience, those animate paper weights
>>>>>> every body seems so edgy over. What has worked for me is to utilize
>>>>>> the comput for all the things you named I.E. getting travel
>>>>>> instructions and relevant spellings, restaurant menus E-mail and the
>>>>>> like but for me, no social media, no games, only cursory internet
>>>>>> searches but I believe people particularly blind people are duped
>>>>>> into believing they need all this shit when, if you just try letting
>>>>>> the stuff you don't absolutely need, such as social media, go until
>>>>>> such time that you come to terms with your relationship with the role
>>>>>> of tech within your personal experience?
>>>>>> Of course, this is what has worked for me, you might be like a really
>>>>>> dedicated social mediite?
>>>>>>  Car
>>>>>> 
>>>>>> 11 PM 5/29/2015, Judy Jones via blindtlk wrote:
>>>>>>> What would it take for you to get out on your own.  Have you
>>>>>>> developed a step by step plan?
>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>> Judy
>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>> -----Original Message----- From: Danielle Antoine via blindtlk
>>>>>>> Sent: Friday, May 29, 2015 5:32 PM
>>>>>>> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
>>>>>>> Cc: Danielle Antoine
>>>>>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Just Venting!
>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>> I'm alright but I have had it! I just wanna leave. No more games, no
>>>>>>> more appeasements, no more peacekeeping efforts on my part, no more
>>>>>>> acting like it's all okay because it's not. Just wanna be on my own
>>>>>>> again
>>>>>>> ! I don't need help if it's not the way I need it! I'll be able to
>>>>>>> recover easier once I'm in charge of my own life in my own space.
>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>> Alanna, yeah I know I have my own issues to resolve and that is why I
>>>>>>> write albeit usually in my space. Problem is, all my spaces keep
>>>>>>> getting taken away with computers always never functioning properly in
>>>>>>> this way or that. Somebody is repeatedly breaking into my computers
>>>>>>> and everybody else act like either they don't know who it is and
>>>>>>> refuse to make them stop or report them, or it does NOT matter because
>>>>>>> they all have Apple phones and Androids and don't seem to EVER get
>>>>>>> targeted. Frankly, I wwent to post brief ness on FB about it only to
>>>>>>> find FB is acting up and I can't post. The rest of my blind friends
>>>>>>> don't have these repeated computer problems and it is too the point
>>>>>>> where Windows has even gotten restricted in some places like I can't
>>>>>>> even access the start menu and I just paid $345 less than a month ago
>>>>>>> to fix this computer, $219 the month before to fix a desktop but I
>>>>>>> have no speech on it right now or place to set it up, and I have one
>>>>>>> more yet to go. I had to use MS Office on one that was zapped and
>>>>>>> suddenly couldn't get on the Internet after I just bought a wireless
>>>>>>> Hot Spot card. It wasn't accessible for me and luckily the company
>>>>>>> discontinued it for me. I thought once they switched providers over
>>>>>>> hear all this would stop. Now I have to decide to buy another battery
>>>>>>> and charger for it or try to get Office Depot to put MS Office 2013 on
>>>>>>> this one, which I bought and is supposedly on that desktop. You know
>>>>>>> now it don't come on a CD-rom but a card with download instructions.
>>>>>>> Who can do much of anything without a word processor? This delays me
>>>>>>> though and I lost months and months of work wich I won't be able to
>>>>>>> retrieve unless I spend money on a battery and charger for a dinosaur
>>>>>>> as they say which is only 8 years old but totally in working order
>>>>>>> until........one fateful day.....today. They suddenl froze up and went
>>>>>>> black after I tried to make changes to NVDA. That's not including the
>>>>>>> $100 in transportation costs to drop off and retrieve them. Anyway I
>>>>>>> end up losing everything I have saved to the hard drives because it's
>>>>>>> always an Optimize and Restore order. Makes me wonder if their isn't a
>>>>>>> key of mine giving access to my computer out there. It all started
>>>>>>> once I divorced my ex and gradually got worse. Rather, he filed for
>>>>>>> divorce 5 years ago and made out like a bandit. That old you can't
>>>>>>> prove it cause your blind bit. Not passing blame but I can't figure
>>>>>>> where this is originating and want it to stop! These are not fun games
>>>>>>> to be playing with me. I don't know how I could possibly be safe by
>>>>>>> being shut down. It's gambling. Why do I need a computer? Simply put,
>>>>>>> to function. Communicate with the outside world, to get information,
>>>>>>> to job hunt, read mail, pay bills, for entertainment as in plaing fun,
>>>>>>> free harmless games for worthless points, to learn, work, keep up with
>>>>>>> latest trends inside and outside of the blindness community, get
>>>>>>> addresses so I can plan my cab trips, look up spellings of certain
>>>>>>> words and anames, keep up with my children, shop, etc. It's just
>>>>>>> senseless violence and passive aggression. I do agree about the
>>>>>>> individual and family therapy but that likely will never happened
>>>>>>> because black folk don't believe in getting counseling. Actually, I
>>>>>>> was in therapy when I was in the city. Thanks for the prayers, hug and
>>>>>>> love.
>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>> Danielle
>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>> On 5/29/15, River Linda via blindtlk <blindtlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>>>>>>> Danielle,
>>>>>>>> Big hug and love to you.
>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>> On Friday, May 29, 2015, Ray Foret Jr via blindtlk
>>>>>>>> <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>> Well, Danielle, it sounds to me like you've had this huge pile-on
>>>>>>>>> building
>>>>>>>>> and building and building up for quite a while now.  Frankly, it
>>>>>>>>> seems
>>>>>>>>> to
>>>>>>>>> me like there are a number of unresolved issues between you and your
>>>>>>>>> family:  but, the long and the short of it feels like this.  You are
>>>>>>>>> totally blind, and, your family, despite your best efforts, doesn't
>>>>>>>>> really
>>>>>>>>> think of you as even a normal person but just some pitiful poor
>>>>>>>>> blind
>>>>>>>>> girl
>>>>>>>>> to be looked after and pitied and felt sorry for and not let do
>>>>>>>>> anything.
>>>>>>>>> Some sighted people feel this way too, believe it or not.  So, it's
>>>>>>>>> not
>>>>>>>>> necessarily a blindness thing:  but, in your case, and given the
>>>>>>>>> context
>>>>>>>>> of
>>>>>>>>> your remarks, it sure sounds like that in your case, it might be
>>>>>>>>> blindness
>>>>>>>>> caused.  It also seems to me that you haven't just sat there and let
>>>>>>>>> it
>>>>>>>>> build up:  but rather, that you have made every effort after effort
>>>>>>>>> to
>>>>>>>>> make
>>>>>>>>> a difference:  but now, most recently, something has happened that
>>>>>>>>> has
>>>>>>>>> caused you either to snap or else feel like you want to.  Have I
>>>>>>>>> figured
>>>>>>>>> it
>>>>>>>>> out about right?  Danelle, I wish I had a specific answer to all the
>>>>>>>>> things
>>>>>>>>> you say:  but, I suspect that some of the blind women on this list
>>>>>>>>> might
>>>>>>>>> be
>>>>>>>>> able to help you better with the specific items you list off.  I
>>>>>>>>> merely
>>>>>>>>> enter here because I am concerned, and wanted to lend what moral
>>>>>>>>> support
>>>>>>>>> I
>>>>>>>>> can to a fellow blind person who, it seems to me, is on the edge of
>>>>>>>>> breaking.
>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>> Sincerely,
>>>>>>>>> The Constantly Barefooted Ray
>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>> Still a happy Mac, Verizon Wireless iPhone 6+ and Apple TV user!
>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>> Sent from my Mac,
>>>>>>>>> the only computer with full accessibility for the blind built-in
>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>> On May 29, 2015, at 2:22 PM, Danielle Antoine via blindtlk <
>>>>>>>>> blindtlk at nfbnet.org <javascript:;>> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>> I just cannot stand it when somebody say you can do something
>>>>>>>>>> then
>>>>>>>>>> let
>>>>>>>>>> somebody else do it or just prevent you from doing so. Most
>>>>>>>>>> often,
>>>>>>>>>> it's always what I'm doing. Like for instance, my brother and
>>>>>>>>>> sister
>>>>>>>>>> didn't have jobs wasn't looking for jobs until I started. Well
>>>>>>>>>> bless
>>>>>>>>>> God Hallallujah, thank you Jesus, they both got jobs while I'm
>>>>>>>>>> still
>>>>>>>>>> sitting at home. In fact, it cost me more because they have
>>>>>>>>>> transporation and drive whereas, I don't have those luxuries and
>>>>>>>>>> where
>>>>>>>>>> Im located it's really not feasible for me to work even if I was
>>>>>>>>>> in
>>>>>>>>>> optimal health. Anyway, my sister followed through with the apps
>>>>>>>>>> I
>>>>>>>>>> got
>>>>>>>>>> for her and my brother didn't and my mom allowed it; they both
>>>>>>>>>> got
>>>>>>>>>> hired through someone else's efforts in the end. I hoe they keep
>>>>>>>>>> their
>>>>>>>>>> jobs this time! They both are lucky and have no problems getting
>>>>>>>>>> hired
>>>>>>>>>> with minimal effort! I have a lot of time on my hands so can
>>>>>>>>>> devote
>>>>>>>>>> to
>>>>>>>>>> a few mmindless things that don't require me to think so hard or
>>>>>>>>>> use
>>>>>>>>>> much energy. So, why all this unnecessary stress and aggravation.
>>>>>>>>>> For
>>>>>>>>>> my blind parents, how do you go about picking baby gear on your
>>>>>>>>>> own?
>>>>>>>>>> I
>>>>>>>>>> lost my babies oh about a couple of months ago and my other prior
>>>>>>>>>> three children live with their father. but I had gotten the okay
>>>>>>>>>> from
>>>>>>>>>> a couple of friends prior to all this to document pattern
>>>>>>>>>> descriptions
>>>>>>>>>> and everytime I start I can never get very far do to computer
>>>>>>>>>> breakage, stealing of software, hacking and such through no fault
>>>>>>>>>> of
>>>>>>>>>> my own. As we all know, our technology is expensive and can not
>>>>>>>>>> easily
>>>>>>>>>> be replaced in a day or so. Even whene we fix one thing such as
>>>>>>>>>> the
>>>>>>>>>> laptop or desktop, we still need to install a screen reader, and
>>>>>>>>>> now
>>>>>>>>>> MS Office since it is now not standard and if you have scanning
>>>>>>>>>> software so it is not off the shelf ready to rock and roll. I am
>>>>>>>>>> on
>>>>>>>>>> SSI only. Believe me, this has to be somebody sighted who
>>>>>>>>>> wouldn't
>>>>>>>>>> want this job if they had it but I am happy to do it. I really
>>>>>>>>>> started
>>>>>>>>>> doing this out of sheer frustration. Since my niece came along,
>>>>>>>>>> the
>>>>>>>>>> adults in her life started buying everything with like characters
>>>>>>>>>> and
>>>>>>>>>> such when it would've made mor sense for them to buy colored
>>>>>>>>>> stuff.
>>>>>>>>>> Like for real people! They can see things like, tangerine, gold,
>>>>>>>>>> Everest, purple, onyx, Paisley, Fuschia, Bromley, Go Green,
>>>>>>>>>> Cameron,
>>>>>>>>>> Saturn, Cowmooflage  and such like that. I mean, really what does
>>>>>>>>>> that
>>>>>>>>>> mean to a total who has never seen colors or seen them clear
>>>>>>>>>> enough
>>>>>>>>>> in
>>>>>>>>>> their life? Those are just examples of pattern names And colors
>>>>>>>>>> which
>>>>>>>>>> they can esily coordinate accordingly rather than snatching up
>>>>>>>>>> any
>>>>>>>>>> and
>>>>>>>>>> everything. My sister knew she was having  a girl and instead she
>>>>>>>>>> got
>>>>>>>>>> neutral stuff as well. what ever happened to commonsense,
>>>>>>>>>> courtesy,
>>>>>>>>>> consideration, feelings, and boundaries? My mom denied my
>>>>>>>>>> pregnancy
>>>>>>>>>> though so I hope she is happy with my loss on top of me being
>>>>>>>>>> unable
>>>>>>>>>> to honor the visitation agreement with my children since she and
>>>>>>>>>> my
>>>>>>>>>> ex
>>>>>>>>>> have serious beef! I should also mention ther have been about 10
>>>>>>>>>> babies in total born since she has and that is what so angers me
>>>>>>>>>> even
>>>>>>>>>> more. Also, most of her things relate back to my own teenage and
>>>>>>>>>> preteen's likes. In fact, my mom bought the exact same car seat I
>>>>>>>>>> had
>>>>>>>>>> bought for my first son with a zoo theme! I should say that my
>>>>>>>>>> sister
>>>>>>>>>> was in jail but she knew what she was having before she went in
>>>>>>>>>> and
>>>>>>>>>> did not prepare. So about a month before my niece's arrival I
>>>>>>>>>> started
>>>>>>>>>> looking at gear and stuff for her. I had planned to buy
>>>>>>>>>> everything
>>>>>>>>>> she
>>>>>>>>>> needed since I had saved a little money up, to take the worry
>>>>>>>>>> from
>>>>>>>>>> her
>>>>>>>>>> and my mom who I was sure going fo likely get her and at the time
>>>>>>>>>> was
>>>>>>>>>> talking about moving to where we are now with more space for my
>>>>>>>>>> sisters kids. Of course, I was looking at sex appropriate things
>>>>>>>>>> for
>>>>>>>>>> her from the diaper bag to the crib to a few toys and washcloths.
>>>>>>>>>> I
>>>>>>>>>> figure when its coming out of someone else's pocket it shouldn't
>>>>>>>>>> matter thow much it cost since you didn't have nothing anyway. At
>>>>>>>>>> that
>>>>>>>>>> time, I wasn't expecting.
>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>>>>> 
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>>>>>> 
>>>>>> 
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>>>>> 
>>>> 
>>> 
>> 
> 
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