[Blindtlk] Raising a Cane

Tue Sep 29 15:55:20 UTC 2015

Good morning, Chris,

         Comes with the territory I'm afraid. If you were to inquire 
of other blind women, Ol'Sighty feels he needs to play a part in the 
blink woman's world whether it makes sense to her or not, whether she 
needs it or not. Doesn't matter what the blinkie woman might wish her 
world to look. Blind womenn, to many,  are rightfully manipulated by 
Ol'Sighty.. That's just the way it is.
Car 02:28 PM 9/27/2015, Szostak, Christine via blindtlk wrote:
>Hi,
>   I have no vision so it is just that while waiting on a curb, I do 
> not want to bring extra attention to my blindness while the light 
> is still not in my favor. When crossing the street, I happily use 
> my cane in the normal fashion. I just do not want to lift it in the 
> air in front of me while waiting at the curb  while just waiting 
> for a light, traffic... to change.
>
>   As for the issue of dragging me, I actually do specify not to do 
> so but it is just that people do this before I have a chance to say 
> anything. For example, total strangers will come up to me, silently 
> grab my arm, and say let me help you. Or they will come up to me, 
> again without saying anything before hand, and just put their arm 
> around my shoulder and say things like, oh, sweetie you are so 
> amazing you are doing that so well. I have had people do this in 
> very uncomfortable settings (i.e., when out to dinner with 
> others)... Once I know it is coming (after it has happened since I 
> can not see the arm of a silent person coming at my shoulders for 
> example), I do let them know that I am fine and either gently or if 
> that does not work, a bit more emphatically (though non-visually 
> obtrusively) remove their arm/hand and let them know that I am 
> fine, thanks for the offer.
>Happy Sunday all!
>Chris
>Dr. Christine M. Szostak
>Assistant Professor of Psychology
>Department of Social Sciences
>Shorter University
>Rome, Georgia
>szostak.1 at osu.edu
>cszostak at shorter.edu
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of 
>River Linda via blindtlk
>Sent: Sunday, September 27, 2015 4:35 PM
>To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>Cc: River Linda <waterinmyroom at gmail.com>
>Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Raising a Cane
>
>Hi,
>
>Are you saying you can see well enough to cross the street without 
>using a cane? Or, you just do not want to use it because you are 
>embarrassed to use it and you do not want the attention from people? 
>The cane is for your safety. As you have described holding your cane 
>vertically off the ground in front of you, the cars coming from 
>behind you will not see your cane. I was taught to keep the cane tip 
>on the ground and hold it out diagonally from you so that cars 
>coming from all four directions can see it.
>
>As for people grabbing you, you have to tell them how you want to be 
>treated. When people grab me, I tell them to wait and let me show 
>you how to help me. When people make that comment about me being 
>amazing because I can cut my food and eat it, I simply respond with "you, too".
>
>
>On Saturday, September 26, 2015, Szostak, Christine via blindtlk < 
>blindtlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>
> > Hi All,
> >   Ok, this might be a very odd question, but I was just thinking about
> > this and to me, it  seems really illogical.
> >
> >   When I was getting O&M to help with transitioning to a cane, every
> > time we stopped at a curb to cross a street, the instructor would have
> > me hold the cane directly in front of me and hold it up in the air
> > vertically about
> > 2-3 or so inches off the ground. The explanation given to me for this
> > was so that others would see that I am blind and am using a cane.
> >
> >   The reasons that this seems a bit odd to me as a good practice are:
> >
> > 1)  I do not want a car to stop at a stop sign and wait for me to
> > cross as I have always been taught not to trust in drivers that say,
> > go ahead I will wait because they may not see other cars coming that
> > could hit me if I follow their advice. Also, just because they stop,
> > it does not mean that they see you so the signal you are assuming they
> > are giving you, may not be the case.
> >
> > 2)  I do not necessarily want to bring attention to my blindness.
> >
> > 3)  I tend to look younger than I am and thus people, to my
> > consternation, always try  to grab my arm... to help me. When I was in
> > training for one of my prior guides, my instructor always joked that I
> > was a really touchable person because total strangers would try to
> > drag me across the street since they just assumed that I did not know
> > how to cross a street with a light:). This happens to me, regardless
> > of whether it is with traffic or even in places like restaurants,
> > total strangers will frequently grab my arm, put their arms around my
> > shoulders... and tell me how amazing I am to be eating so well:).
> > Since I really do not want this type of attention, I tend not to want
> > to use methods that are likely to induce it:). Since I could see
> > holding a cane in the air as one good way to get this type of 
> attention, I am not overly eager to keep up this practice.
> >
> >   Thus, do others here hold up their canes while standing on curbs and
> > if so, what has been your experience with respect to the above issues?
> > I really, personally do not like this practice as it would seem to me
> > that if you are a competent traveler who follows the  rules of the
> > pedestrian and knows what you are doing, then you should not need to
> > do this as it simply tells someone, this person is blind so stop and
> > wait for them as they will not be a safe traveler or is trying to 
> signal that they need your help.
> > Perhaps I am completely misunderstanding the point of doing this but I
> > just really feel like this is an out-of-date practice, one that tries
> > to heavily point out blindness which would seem to lead to increasing
> > the stigma rather than showing that we are competent individuals, and
> > something  that could actually be dangerous rather than helpful 
> to a cane traveler.
> >
> >
> >   I can understand this type of practice if you want for some reason
> > to indicate that you are blind or have a VI (i.e., when  you are
> > concerned that you may trip... and do not want individuals to just
> > think that you are
> > clumsy...) so please know that I am not trying to discount these types
> > of situations rather it is just on the curb side if you are just
> > trying to cross the street  and have any of the above three reasons
> > for not wanting to do so that I am asking about and feeling this way about.
> > Happy weekend all!
> > Chris
> >
> > Dr. Christine M. Szostak
> > Assistant Professor of Psychology
> > Department of Social Sciences
> > Shorter University
> > Rome, Georgia
> > szostak.1 at osu.edu <javascript:;><mailto:szostak.1 at osu.edu > 
> <javascript:;>> cszostak at shorter.edu <javascript:;>
> >
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