[Blindtlk] An Update...

[Kerri Kosten]

Hi All:
First, I just wanted to thank everyone for all your messages and great
advice! I really appreciate it!
And, thanks also for helping me to not feel so ashamed. I really needed that!
I wanted to give everyone an update and to ask questions about some of
the wonderful advice I was given!
First, Arielle, I would say this has been going on since childhood.
But, it wasn't as severe back then.
I always stayed up late. I can remember often being up in the middle
of the night when my dad would come home. I remember often having a
lot more trouble than others getting tired or falling asleep at night.
But, I don't think it was as noticeable as a child.
The time I remember it really
becoming bad is when I was a senior in high school. I would stay up
all night, go to school, be exhausted during the day (but was in
school so couldn't sleep) and come home and pass out. I think I've had
trouble since then.
As for the melatonin, I actually have some. I bought a bottle a couple
of years ago. I bought the over the counter 10 MG kind.
Here is the thing though. When I tried taking it, it didn't seem to
work. I would still be awake for hours after taking it, then fall
asleep and wake up groggy making me want to sleep even more.
Now, I haven't tried actually truly fighting and staying up all day,
then trying to take it an hour before I want to go to bed. That
approach might work.
I don't want to confuse anyone but I notice there are two different
times I am really becoming exhausted and falling asleep. If I lay down
about noon, I will fall asleep at 1 and wake up about 8:30 or 9 PM.
If I sit upright and listen to the radio, move around and make lunch,
and really attempt to stay up the entire day, then I don't become
exhausted until around 5 PM and will sleep until like 10 or 11 PM.
If I lay down at about noon and sleep until 8 or 9 I find I am a lot
more depressed.
If I at least try to stay up all day, even if I end up falling asleep
at 5 I am still upset but where I at least attempted to stay up I feel
a little better.
Now, here are my questions on the advice given.
In terms of exercise, I try to move around, make lunch, take the trash
out, pace a little, that sort of thing.
I also have an exercise bike.
Is it better to really exercise when I really begin to feel tired at 5
PM or before I get tired at 1 or so?
I have a similar question with the caffine. I unfortunately am a big
Coke drinker so try especially when I am fighting this and am trying
to stay awake all day to always have some throughout the day before I
get tired.
But, how does caffine work?
Should I not drink any while I am awake and then really drink some
when I begin to get exhausted at 5 PM?
In terms of sunlight, I live in a wintry area. When there is sun I can
feel the sunlight coming through my kitchen windows.
When it's nice out I will try to sit outside but I admit I haven't
really done that since last summer.
Here is the sort of unofficial schedule I have set up in my head for today:
10-1 PM sit on the floor and listen to the Dan LeBatard show on ESPN Radio
1 PM Turn on First Take on ESPN 2 in the living room
make lunch/wipe off the counter
eat lunch
Sit on the couch and Watch First Take until it ends at 3 PM
3 PM Call my friend Jennifer who will usually talk to me for a couple of hours
When we finish talking (this will be when it gets hard) either get my
headset radio out and play the top 40 station or sit on the couch and
get on Periscope and watch peoples broadcasts
7 PM walk to my favorite restaurant/bar next door and listen to the
Basketball game
Stay there until 10 or 11 and then go to bed
Okay, now that sounds easy when I am awake but at about 5 PM the
exhaustion will really hit me hard and that is when I have trouble.
Five PM is still six hours away from 11 PM when I would love to go to
bed and so the exhaustion becomes overwhelming and I end up falling
asleep.
Or, what often what happens is I will begin to really get tired and I
will think Okay it's 5 Pm I'll turn the TV on and just lay down for a
minute...it's 5 PM and at 7 (two hours from 5) I can get dinner at the
restaurant I'll just lay here for an hour or two...the TV is on surely
that'll keep me awake...then I end up falling asleep and not knowing I
even fell asleep until I wake up at 10 or 11 PM.
It's when the exhaustion gets really bad when I have trouble.
Just wanted to give an update.
Thanks again for the great advice and making me feel better about this.
Kerri