[Blindtlk] Wanting to See

[Gary Wunder]

Hello, Jen. I too have been blind since birth, and I am intrigued by the
same things you are. I am not nearly as curious about things that I can feel
or hear as things that register no image for me whatsoever. I made my mother
cry once when she asked me what I would look at first if I could see. She
thought it would be her; I said it would be the stars. I told her that I
already knew what she looked like, loved it when she hugged me, loved the
feel of her soft hair, and thought she had one of the prettiest voices in
the world. She still thought she was finishing a distant second to the star.

Like you, I don't dwell on what is not to be. I have a fantastic life, but
that doesn't alter my desire to think about what might have been different
had I been different. I love music, but I don't have the vocal range to be
the kind of singer I would want to be. I have close to if not perfect pitch,
can play the guitar and the piano just a bit, but mostly I am a music
observer. Sometimes I imagine myself on stage when some of my favorite
performers are singing. I play a mean guitar, hit the high notes, and
express all of the emotion they are expressing. But, when I step out of my
headphones, off of my exercise bike, and go back to the real world, I
realize how very lucky I am.

I agree with some on this list that I sometimes have wished for sight when I
am doing something that is made more difficult or sometimes impossible
without it. It would be convenient to glance around the room to see if there
is anything on the floor before vacuuming, but I walk it, and I find myself
grateful that I can clean my own house. I stomp my feet when I am waiting
for a ride whose tardiness is threatening to make me late, and I think of
how easy it would be if I had more control over my own schedule and could go
out and get in my own vehicle. Still, when I'm in that taxicab or writing in
that Uber and reading the latest bestseller by Jodi Picoult, I don't find
myself feeling very deprived.

So the long and short of this is that I think what you are feeling is
perfectly normal and that it provides for some interesting speculation. What
I am sad about is that there are so many people who believe that their lives
are forever second class because they are blind, afraid to risk training,
afraid to risk failure, and unsure how to change what they view as an
unsatisfactory life. That's where we try to help. I thank God for you and
all of the people who joined together to give people a quality life, one in
which blindness becomes more a nuisance than a tragedy. 

Warmly,

Gary
-----Original Message-----
From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jen via
blindtlk
Sent: Thursday, January 05, 2017 7:30 PM
To: blindtlk at nfbnet.org; nfb-talk at nfbnet.org
Cc: Jen
Subject: [Blindtlk] Wanting to See

Hi everyone,

As I posted on my "driverless cars" thread, I'm totally blind from birth.

I have always been interested in visual things. They include

* pictures, especially pictures of pictures
* colors
* the sky
* videos
* light and the various ways it can be manipulated, like with shadows and
optical illusions
* rainbows

... and so many others.

Now here's my question. I wish I could see sometimes. Is this normal for a
blind person? I'm not consumed by these feelings. I don't feel sorry for
myself for being blind, and I have incorporated alternative techniques into
my life. So personally, I consider myself as a well-adjusted blind person.
At the same time though, I wouldn't want my sight back because, since I've
never had it, everything would be too much clutter for me. Also, I have my
own pictures of visual things in my mind's eye, and I wouldn't want to ruin
them.

My family and friends, who are sighted, tell me it is normal to have these
feelings. But it would be great to get some feedback from my fellow
Federationists.

Thanks!


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