[BlindTlk] frustrating home situation

Wed Nov 18 01:38:24 UTC 2020

I don't know. No they haven't. Dad just buys 2 of the same diners so that we each have one.

-----Original Message-----
From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Jess Trask via BlindTlk
Sent: November 17, 2020 5:43 PM
To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Cc: Jess Trask <jessandellie101611 at gmail.com>
Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation

Hi Madden,
The hiding of the food Ian’t strange.My fiancée and I had to this last Summer when a I was staying with her I a camper on property that she was helping a family member of hers with we had a roommate that would steal our food. There also wasn’t a lot of place to store food even in our place now there isn’t a lot storage space food.
So what we did was use a large plastic tote to store at least your dry food in She also bought a smaller fridge use was supposed use by the ex roommate over the winter last year in a shed with space heaters. Would your parents be willing to buy you a small refrigerator fir your room? Have your parents tried to label your stuff I the freezer so your sister doesn’t eat it?

On Tue, Nov 17, 2020 at 6:01 PM Judy Jones via BlindTlk <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
wrote:

> O my goodness!  You should be setting the example then.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Madison 
> Martin via BlindTlk
> Sent: Tuesday, November 17, 2020 2:56 PM
> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: maddymartin at mymts.net
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
>
> Yes I'm the oldest, by 6 years.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Judy Jones 
> via BlindTlk
> Sent: November 17, 2020 4:46 PM
> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Judy Jones <sonshines59 at gmail.com>
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
>
> I was just trying to think of things.
>
> It really would be worth talking to them.
>
> By chance, are you the oldest?
>
> I can tell you that having been a parent, sometimes, with the oldest, 
> parents are still going through firsts.  The first to graduate from 
> high school, etc.
> They're growing along with their older children, so if you are the 
> eldest, you can set the tone, it's almost an advantage for you.
>
> You've hit milestones of graduating from high school and becoming an 
> adult, so you will have to help them along with that, too.
>
> Judy
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Madison 
> Martin via BlindTlk
> Sent: Tuesday, November 17, 2020 2:38 PM
> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: maddymartin at mymts.net
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
>
> Mom does all the cleaning except for vacuuming which Dad does. Dad 
> does all the cooking. I'm a picky eater so I don't generally eat Dad cooks.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Judy Jones 
> via BlindTlk
> Sent: November 17, 2020 4:15 PM
> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Judy Jones <sonshines59 at gmail.com>
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
>
> Hi, Madison,
>
> First of all, I'm sure we're all behind you on this list.
>
> One thing I have seen in common from your responses on this list and 
> others, that when suggestions are given, they are summarily rejected.
>
> Granted, we're not in your living situation, but you need to start 
> thinking like a problem-solver.  If any of our suggestions aren't 
> working for you, then you will have to come up with your own solutions 
> that will work for you.
>
> Take the problems out of the way.  You'll have to be your own 
> problem-solver, that is what we all have had to learn to do in order 
> to make it in life.
>
> you would need to persuade your folks by your actions maybe at first, 
> if not by your words.  Examples.  Take on more of the cooking, or cook 
> for yourself.  Do more of the household chores, take on more personal 
> grooming and schedule para to go out, or anything else you can do to 
> show them the adult you are.
>
> You've basically had a two year "break" from high school, so you 
> should seriously look at ways of becoming more independent, and now.
>
> Talk to a CNIB counselor, talk to Mary Ellen, I can send you her 
> information again if you need it, but get some support for what you 
> are trying to do.
> You are going to have to use the resources available.  If you need it, 
> get yourself into a center for daily living skills to equip you to be 
> out on your own.  You've got to do this for you.
>
> Another thing a VR counselor can do is give you an interest test that 
> may bring out some surprising positive results of interests you have 
> you didn't realize, and can move forward with plans for your life and moving forward.
>
> It sounds like stuck at home is getting to you, and that will not 
> change unless you take control of your situation yourself.  If any of 
> us could wave a wand and make it happen for you, I'm sure we would 
> love to, we all want to see our blind brothers and sisters succeed.
>
> We're here to advise and help, but you have to do the work.
>
> You have a golden time window, being a couple years out of high 
> school, but the older you get, the harder it will be to pick up the 
> reins of your life again, you've got to make it happen for yourself 
> and get people behind you to support you, and this list will support you inasmuch as a listserv can.
>
> Judy
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Madison 
> Martin via BlindTlk
> Sent: Tuesday, November 17, 2020 1:18 PM
> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: maddymartin at mymts.net
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
>
> I'm not sure they'd listen to me, or at least not Mom.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Judy Jones 
> via BlindTlk
> Sent: November 16, 2020 5:36 PM
> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Judy Jones <sonshines59 at gmail.com>
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
>
> Another thought.
>
> Can you sit down with your folks, and discuss your need for more 
> independence, a possible modest allowance, if you don't already have one?
> Your need to have your own things be yours?
>
> For about three years, our older daughter came back to the "nest," for 
> about five years until she got married in 2015.
>
> Chris was newly retired then, I was starting back to work, and Jada 
> had her own job.  Of course we would have provided groceries for her, 
> had she needed that, but she got work right away.
>
> We would share our groceries with her, and she shared some of hers 
> with us, but we would check with each other before we ate.
>
> We also would eat sometimes at different times.  Jada, of course, 
> could use the kitchen any time she liked anyway.
>
> One time we were talking about this, and our relationship with her at 
> that time was more like housemates.
>
> We all had our own schedules, our own errands, our own things we did, 
> but we also enjoyed each other's company.
>
> When trying to explain this to our younger daughter, it was hard for 
> her to understand, because the last time she was living with us was as a minor.
> She started fulltime work at age eighteen, had her own place, and kept 
> that job until she was 25.  She married at 27, and is now 30, hard to believe.
>
>
> Judy
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Madison 
> Martin via BlindTlk
> Sent: Monday, November 16, 2020 3:01 PM
> To: blindtlk at nfbnet.org
> Cc: maddymartin at mymts.net
> Subject: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
>
> Hi all,
> Hope this is okay to talk about hear, I just really need to vent.
> I forgot to say that Dad and I went out for super on Saturday to get 
> away from the craziness. Plus I don't eat pizza. Makayla's biggest 
> issue is that her and Mom are too much a like, so they're always at 
> each other and she thinks that Mom is always mad at her when she 
> isn't. Dad takes anti-depressant meds, but I think he watches and 
> reads way too much news. I also think he drinks way too much coffie 
> and alcohol, and he also needs to lose weight. Makayla also likes to 
> nag me about stuff that Mom and Dad don't bug me about, I already have 
> two parents I don't want or need a third. I'm an adult so I think I 
> should be allowed to make my own decisions and not get told what to 
> do. Mom also loves to be in control all the time which is very 
> annoying. None of us are very good at talking about and sharing our 
> feelings, if we were a normal family then we could talk about this 
> stuff, but we aren't. I know that a therapist can't necessarily solve 
> our problems, but hopefully they could give us ways to cope. Mom is 
> the one that needs the most help, but we know that she wouldn't go or 
> talk.
> I don't know that Mom would ever join us, and I don't know if Makayla 
> even wants to go. I'd consider it, but only if we found the right therapist.
> There are many I'm sure, but they're not all the same. I'd love to 
> move out, but I don't think I want to live by myself. I used to think 
> that Dad and I should go live together, but now I'm not so sure. I 
> already told you about his issues, and he also nags me about stuff 
> mainly personal hygiene stuff, mainly showiering. I don't go anywhere 
> so I really don't care how I look or if I smell. Plus the less we 
> shower the less water we use, and the less product we have to buy. As 
> an adult, should I not be allowed to make my own decsions even when it 
> comes to personal hygiene? Sometimes I feel like I'm treated more like 
> a kid then the adult that I am and should be allowed to be. Makayla 
> would probably just yell at me, she wouldn't actually teach me how to 
> do something. She quite often just says "If you want something then 
> why not just learn to do it yourself." She also bugs me about stuff 
> and tells me what to do too. She's also gotten really bad at just 
> taking things without asking, mainly food. Sometimes someone buys 
> something for themselves or for someone else (that's not her), but she 
> just sees things and assumes she can eat or use them, when she can't 
> always. If she'd just ask then chances are she could eat some of or 
> use some of whatever it is, but she doesn't. Dad does this too, not as 
> much though. We made fudge a few months ago, and she ate a few pieces 
> without asking. It had to be kept in the fridge so Mom would cut up a 
> few pieces and put them out to warm up a bit.
> Now if we make it again she's not allowed to have any because she 
> didn't ask the first time, she blew it. What's fair is fair. Plus the 
> last few times she's made stuff she hasn't asked me if I'd like any, 
> not that I would unless it's plain.
> It's just annoying when Mom or Dad buys me something and then I don't 
> really get any because she's eaten it. Dad says I'm going to have to 
> start hiding stuff in my room, which would be weird, if it gets to 
> that then I think we have a real problem on our hands. Plus she's good 
> at noticing/finding things that Mom has tried to hide, in particular 
> chocolate.
> Mom isn't always good at sharing either, but I just ask and if she 
> says no then I don't touch it. We might have to start putting our 
> names on things, which Makayla did yesterday, when she got this 
> macaronie dinner from Sobeys, which I didn't get. If she wants her own 
> then that's fine, but I like them too, so I should've gotten one too. 
> I've learned that if someone gets something for me, whether it's a 
> dinner or snack stuff I have to eat it right away or else there might 
> not be any/one left when I really want it/some.  She yells at me when 
> we're doing dishes because apparently I don't dry them right. Now I 
> just wait for her to finish washing and then I dry.
> I've tried talking to Mom, but that didn't really work/help. She 
> thought that I was talking about some particular time or decision that 
> I want to make, but I was just talking about in general. I still 
> collect animal figurenes, and she has this weird thing that if it's 
> too close to my birthday or Christmas then I can't buy anything, even 
> though when I'm looking at stuff it usually over a month until either 
> event. I do it because I worry that she won't like the look of the 
> figurine that I'm asking for so she won't buy it for me, regardless of 
> how much I want it. Like last Christmas I asked for this particular 
> husky, well she didn't buy it for me because she said that she didn't 
> like it's face, it was too pointy, but the
> 2 that she got me looked way more like wolves then huskies. It's my 
> money, should I not be allowed to spend it when and how I want?
> Any thoughts/suggestions? Like I said, I just really needed to vent, 
> so if no one answers then that's fine. Thanks for letting me do it anyway.
> Madison
>
>
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--
Jess
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