[BlindTlk] frustrating home situation

Thu Nov 19 17:10:52 UTC 2020

Not to mention if cities don’t share the cost there won’t be a rural transit authority of any kind.  We can’t go 10 minutes away to my grandparents house because their community won’t kick in. Usually the rule is if a bus won’t go there Paratransit won’t.  We have for profit Paratransit but it is costly. Sometimes a community has a rideshare volunteer program. It has a sliding scale fee for riders. 

No idea what other countries.

Ericka Nelson

> On Nov 18, 2020, at 3:29 PM, Judy Jones via BlindTlk <blindtlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> Hi, Pam,
> 
> In rural areas, buses don't necessarily go places, especially if things are
> outside the ADA three-quarters mile service apron.
> 
> Judy
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Pamela Dominguez
> via BlindTlk
> Sent: Wednesday, November 18, 2020 4:56 AM
> To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Pamela Dominguez <pammygirl99 at gmail.com>
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
> 
> Why wouldn't a paratransit take you?  I can understand that you couldn't get
> a bus.  Pam.
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Madison Martin via BlindTlk
> Sent: Tuesday, November 17, 2020 4:20 PM
> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List'
> Cc: maddymartin at mymts.net
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
> 
> I get driven everywhere, not that I go many places. The main place I go is
> to the barn where I ride, it's in the country, so a bus or paratransit
> wouldn't take me there.
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Judy Jones via
> BlindTlk
> Sent: November 16, 2020 5:27 PM
> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Judy Jones <sonshines59 at gmail.com>
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
> 
> Hi, Madison,
> 
> On a list like this that isn't specific, I don't see any problem in venting,
> myself.  Of course it would be up to the list owner.
> 
> My very general answer is:  When you are out on your own, most of this will
> probably square itself out, and the issues that seem so great now will solve
> themselves, or be non-issues.
> 
> Now, for the specifics.  When I remember being your age, a long time ago
> hahaha, I was very anxious to be on my own, not because I didn't love my
> folks, but because I was ready.
> 
> I was in school in another town, so that automatically had me out taking
> care of myself, buying what I wanted, managing my money.
> 
> At that time, I wasn't working, and mom and dad helped me out each month
> with some money.  I had worked in the summertimes, but not during college.
> 
> I loved going home on the weekends, but it's strange, once you've really
> been out on your own, it's never the same going back.
> 
> It was always nice to visit catch up, enjoy that protective environment with
> mom and dad, but always good to leave the nest again.
> 
> I visited the nest less and less, since I got a teaching job straight out of
> college in another state, then married and moved across country.
> 
> You haven't left the nest yet, and you are an adult, and sounds like wanting
> to spread your wings a bit.
> 
> You need work in order to fund that, but until you do have a job, just
> curious, do you do your own shopping?
> 
> Do you take bus or Para to go visit friends, shopping, go to a movie,
> whatever you like to do?
> 
> I'm thinking that if you are doing things by yourself more and more, your
> parents are bound to see your independence, and will maybe work into letting
> go.
> 
> I know about that, I'm a mom, and one has to work at that as a mom.
> 
> My folks did that very well, but am not saying it is easy for a parent to do
> this.
> 
> Can you discuss an allowance from your folks, if you are not already getting
> one, then budgeting it for things you want and trips you want to take?
> 
> Judy
> 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Madison Martin via
> BlindTlk
> Sent: Monday, November 16, 2020 3:01 PM
> To: blindtlk at nfbnet.org
> Cc: maddymartin at mymts.net
> Subject: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
> 
> Hi all,
> Hope this is okay to talk about hear, I just really need to vent.
> I forgot to say that Dad and I went out for super on Saturday to get away
> from the craziness. Plus I don't eat pizza. Makayla's biggest issue is that
> her and Mom are too much a like, so they're always at each other and she
> thinks that Mom is always mad at her when she isn't. Dad takes
> anti-depressant meds, but I think he watches and reads way too much news. I
> also think he drinks way too much coffie and alcohol, and he also needs to
> lose weight. Makayla also likes to nag me about stuff that Mom and Dad don't
> bug me about, I already have two parents I don't want or need a third. I'm
> an adult so I think I should be allowed to make my own decisions and not get
> told what to do. Mom also loves to be in control all the time which is very
> annoying. None of us are very good at talking about and sharing our
> feelings, if we were a normal family then we could talk about this stuff,
> but we aren't. I know that a therapist can't necessarily solve our problems,
> but hopefully they could give us ways to cope. Mom is the one that needs the
> most help, but we know that she wouldn't go or talk.
> I don't know that Mom would ever join us, and I don't know if Makayla even
> wants to go. I'd consider it, but only if we found the right therapist.
> There are many I'm sure, but they're not all the same. I'd love to move out,
> but I don't think I want to live by myself. I used to think that Dad and I
> should go live together, but now I'm not so sure. I already told you about
> his issues, and he also nags me about stuff mainly personal hygiene stuff,
> mainly showiering. I don't go anywhere so I really don't care how I look or
> if I smell. Plus the less we shower the less water we use, and the less
> product we have to buy. As an adult, should I not be allowed to make my own
> decsions even when it comes to personal hygiene? Sometimes I feel like I'm
> treated more like a kid then the adult that I am and should be allowed to
> be. Makayla would probably just yell at me, she wouldn't actually teach me
> how to do something. She quite often just says "If you want something then
> why not just learn to do it yourself." She also bugs me about stuff and
> tells me what to do too. She's also gotten really bad at just taking things
> without asking, mainly food. Sometimes someone buys something for themselves
> or for someone else (that's not her), but she just sees things and assumes
> she can eat or use them, when she can't always. If she'd just ask then
> chances are she could eat some of or use some of whatever it is, but she
> doesn't. Dad does this too, not as much though. We made fudge a few months
> ago, and she ate a few pieces without asking. It had to be kept in the
> fridge so Mom would cut up a few pieces and put them out to warm up a bit.
> Now if we make it again she's not allowed to have any because she didn't ask
> the first time, she blew it. What's fair is fair. Plus the last few times
> she's made stuff she hasn't asked me if I'd like any, not that I would
> unless it's plain.
> It's just annoying when Mom or Dad buys me something and then I don't really
> get any because she's eaten it. Dad says I'm going to have to start hiding
> stuff in my room, which would be weird, if it gets to that then I think we
> have a real problem on our hands. Plus she's good at noticing/finding things
> that Mom has tried to hide, in particular chocolate.
> Mom isn't always good at sharing either, but I just ask and if she says no
> then I don't touch it. We might have to start putting our names on things,
> which Makayla did yesterday, when she got this macaronie dinner from Sobeys,
> which I didn't get. If she wants her own then that's fine, but I like them
> too, so I should've gotten one too. I've learned that if someone gets
> something for me, whether it's a dinner or snack stuff I have to eat it
> right away or else there might not be any/one left when I really want
> it/some.  She yells at me when we're doing dishes because apparently I don't
> dry them right. Now I just wait for her to finish washing and then I dry.
> I've tried talking to Mom, but that didn't really work/help. She thought
> that I was talking about some particular time or decision that I want to
> make, but I was just talking about in general. I still collect animal
> figurenes, and she has this weird thing that if it's too close to my
> birthday or Christmas then I can't buy anything, even though when I'm
> looking at stuff it usually over a month until either event. I do it because
> I worry that she won't like the look of the figurine that I'm asking for so
> she won't buy it for me, regardless of how much I want it. Like last
> Christmas I asked for this particular husky, well she didn't buy it for me
> because she said that she didn't like it's face, it was too pointy, but the
> 2 that she got me looked way more like wolves then huskies. It's my money,
> should I not be allowed to spend it when and how I want?
> Any thoughts/suggestions? Like I said, I just really needed to vent, so if
> no one answers then that's fine. Thanks for letting me do it anyway.
> Madison
> 
> 
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