[BlindTlk] frustrating home situation

maddymartin at mymts.net maddymartin at mymts.net
Thu Nov 19 18:11:50 UTC 2020 

Hear we have citty busses and handy transit. 

-----Original Message-----
From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Ericka via BlindTlk
Sent: November 19, 2020 11:11 AM
To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Cc: Ericka <dotwriter1 at gmail.com>
Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation

Not to mention if cities don’t share the cost there won’t be a rural transit authority of any kind.  We can’t go 10 minutes away to my grandparents house because their community won’t kick in. Usually the rule is if a bus won’t go there Paratransit won’t.  We have for profit Paratransit but it is costly. Sometimes a community has a rideshare volunteer program. It has a sliding scale fee for riders. 

No idea what other countries.

Ericka Nelson

> On Nov 18, 2020, at 3:29 PM, Judy Jones via BlindTlk <blindtlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> Hi, Pam,
> 
> In rural areas, buses don't necessarily go places, especially if 
> things are outside the ADA three-quarters mile service apron.
> 
> Judy
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Pamela 
> Dominguez via BlindTlk
> Sent: Wednesday, November 18, 2020 4:56 AM
> To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Pamela Dominguez <pammygirl99 at gmail.com>
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
> 
> Why wouldn't a paratransit take you?  I can understand that you 
> couldn't get a bus.  Pam.
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Madison Martin via BlindTlk
> Sent: Tuesday, November 17, 2020 4:20 PM
> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List'
> Cc: maddymartin at mymts.net
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
> 
> I get driven everywhere, not that I go many places. The main place I 
> go is to the barn where I ride, it's in the country, so a bus or 
> paratransit wouldn't take me there.
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Judy Jones 
> via BlindTlk
> Sent: November 16, 2020 5:27 PM
> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Judy Jones <sonshines59 at gmail.com>
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
> 
> Hi, Madison,
> 
> On a list like this that isn't specific, I don't see any problem in 
> venting, myself.  Of course it would be up to the list owner.
> 
> My very general answer is:  When you are out on your own, most of this 
> will probably square itself out, and the issues that seem so great now 
> will solve themselves, or be non-issues.
> 
> Now, for the specifics.  When I remember being your age, a long time 
> ago hahaha, I was very anxious to be on my own, not because I didn't 
> love my folks, but because I was ready.
> 
> I was in school in another town, so that automatically had me out 
> taking care of myself, buying what I wanted, managing my money.
> 
> At that time, I wasn't working, and mom and dad helped me out each 
> month with some money.  I had worked in the summertimes, but not during college.
> 
> I loved going home on the weekends, but it's strange, once you've 
> really been out on your own, it's never the same going back.
> 
> It was always nice to visit catch up, enjoy that protective 
> environment with mom and dad, but always good to leave the nest again.
> 
> I visited the nest less and less, since I got a teaching job straight 
> out of college in another state, then married and moved across country.
> 
> You haven't left the nest yet, and you are an adult, and sounds like 
> wanting to spread your wings a bit.
> 
> You need work in order to fund that, but until you do have a job, just 
> curious, do you do your own shopping?
> 
> Do you take bus or Para to go visit friends, shopping, go to a movie, 
> whatever you like to do?
> 
> I'm thinking that if you are doing things by yourself more and more, 
> your parents are bound to see your independence, and will maybe work 
> into letting go.
> 
> I know about that, I'm a mom, and one has to work at that as a mom.
> 
> My folks did that very well, but am not saying it is easy for a parent 
> to do this.
> 
> Can you discuss an allowance from your folks, if you are not already 
> getting one, then budgeting it for things you want and trips you want to take?
> 
> Judy
> 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Madison 
> Martin via BlindTlk
> Sent: Monday, November 16, 2020 3:01 PM
> To: blindtlk at nfbnet.org
> Cc: maddymartin at mymts.net
> Subject: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
> 
> Hi all,
> Hope this is okay to talk about hear, I just really need to vent.
> I forgot to say that Dad and I went out for super on Saturday to get 
> away from the craziness. Plus I don't eat pizza. Makayla's biggest 
> issue is that her and Mom are too much a like, so they're always at 
> each other and she thinks that Mom is always mad at her when she 
> isn't. Dad takes anti-depressant meds, but I think he watches and 
> reads way too much news. I also think he drinks way too much coffie 
> and alcohol, and he also needs to lose weight. Makayla also likes to 
> nag me about stuff that Mom and Dad don't bug me about, I already have 
> two parents I don't want or need a third. I'm an adult so I think I 
> should be allowed to make my own decisions and not get told what to 
> do. Mom also loves to be in control all the time which is very 
> annoying. None of us are very good at talking about and sharing our 
> feelings, if we were a normal family then we could talk about this 
> stuff, but we aren't. I know that a therapist can't necessarily solve 
> our problems, but hopefully they could give us ways to cope. Mom is the one that needs the most help, but we know that she wouldn't go or talk.
> I don't know that Mom would ever join us, and I don't know if Makayla 
> even wants to go. I'd consider it, but only if we found the right therapist.
> There are many I'm sure, but they're not all the same. I'd love to 
> move out, but I don't think I want to live by myself. I used to think 
> that Dad and I should go live together, but now I'm not so sure. I 
> already told you about his issues, and he also nags me about stuff 
> mainly personal hygiene stuff, mainly showiering. I don't go anywhere 
> so I really don't care how I look or if I smell. Plus the less we 
> shower the less water we use, and the less product we have to buy. As 
> an adult, should I not be allowed to make my own decsions even when it 
> comes to personal hygiene? Sometimes I feel like I'm treated more like 
> a kid then the adult that I am and should be allowed to be. Makayla 
> would probably just yell at me, she wouldn't actually teach me how to 
> do something. She quite often just says "If you want something then 
> why not just learn to do it yourself." She also bugs me about stuff 
> and tells me what to do too. She's also gotten really bad at just 
> taking things without asking, mainly food. Sometimes someone buys 
> something for themselves or for someone else (that's not her), but she 
> just sees things and assumes she can eat or use them, when she can't 
> always. If she'd just ask then chances are she could eat some of or 
> use some of whatever it is, but she doesn't. Dad does this too, not as 
> much though. We made fudge a few months ago, and she ate a few pieces without asking. It had to be kept in the fridge so Mom would cut up a few pieces and put them out to warm up a bit.
> Now if we make it again she's not allowed to have any because she 
> didn't ask the first time, she blew it. What's fair is fair. Plus the 
> last few times she's made stuff she hasn't asked me if I'd like any, 
> not that I would unless it's plain.
> It's just annoying when Mom or Dad buys me something and then I don't 
> really get any because she's eaten it. Dad says I'm going to have to 
> start hiding stuff in my room, which would be weird, if it gets to 
> that then I think we have a real problem on our hands. Plus she's good 
> at noticing/finding things that Mom has tried to hide, in particular chocolate.
> Mom isn't always good at sharing either, but I just ask and if she 
> says no then I don't touch it. We might have to start putting our 
> names on things, which Makayla did yesterday, when she got this 
> macaronie dinner from Sobeys, which I didn't get. If she wants her own 
> then that's fine, but I like them too, so I should've gotten one too. 
> I've learned that if someone gets something for me, whether it's a 
> dinner or snack stuff I have to eat it right away or else there might 
> not be any/one left when I really want it/some.  She yells at me when 
> we're doing dishes because apparently I don't dry them right. Now I just wait for her to finish washing and then I dry.
> I've tried talking to Mom, but that didn't really work/help. She 
> thought that I was talking about some particular time or decision that 
> I want to make, but I was just talking about in general. I still 
> collect animal figurenes, and she has this weird thing that if it's 
> too close to my birthday or Christmas then I can't buy anything, even 
> though when I'm looking at stuff it usually over a month until either 
> event. I do it because I worry that she won't like the look of the 
> figurine that I'm asking for so she won't buy it for me, regardless of 
> how much I want it. Like last Christmas I asked for this particular 
> husky, well she didn't buy it for me because she said that she didn't 
> like it's face, it was too pointy, but the
> 2 that she got me looked way more like wolves then huskies. It's my 
> money, should I not be allowed to spend it when and how I want?
> Any thoughts/suggestions? Like I said, I just really needed to vent, 
> so if no one answers then that's fine. Thanks for letting me do it anyway.
> Madison
> 
> 
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