[BlindTlk] FW: [blind-t] FW: [blind-techies] FW: [TechTalk] Don't Feel Stupid About Using Your Computer, Read On, Humor

Fri Aug 6 17:34:39 UTC 2021

Hi All,

Just thought some of you would get a kick out of this.

Don't feel stupid about using your computer, read on.

This is an  excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article:

 1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return
Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the Any Key is.

 2. SAT technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to
control with the dust cover on.  The cover turned out to be the plastic bag
the mouse was packaged in.

 3. Another SAT customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A
few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies
of the floppies.

 4. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax
anything.  After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician
discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of
the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

 5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because
his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid," The
tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses
shouldn't be taken personally.

 6. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents.  He told
the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The
user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer but that his
computer still couldn't "see" the printer."

 7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new
Dell Computer to turn on.  After ensuring the computer was
plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power
button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing
happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the mouse.

 8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer
wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there
for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when
she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"

 9. Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang for support.
"I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second
disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third
disk, I couldn't even fit it in...." The user hadn't realized that "Insert
Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.

 10. In a similar incident, a customer had followed the instructions for
installing software. The instructions said to remove the disk from its cover and
insert into the drive. The user had physically removed the casing of the disk
and wondered why there were problems.

 11. True story from a Novell NetWare Sysop:

 Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"

 Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"

 Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period.
How do I go about getting that fixed?"

 Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"

 Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."

 Tech: Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show?  How did
you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"

 Caller: It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotion. It
just has '4X' on it."

 At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand
it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of
the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.

 12. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The
tech asked her if she was running it under "Windows." The woman responded,
"No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in
the cubicle next to me is under a window and his  printer is working fine."

 13. Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the
same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
 Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
 Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
 Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob."
 Customer: "What do you mean?"
 Tech: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
 Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

 Now don't you feel better about your skill level?

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