[BlindTlk] vent about my sister

Tue Mar 9 21:08:27 UTC 2021

Have you taken any apitudes and interests tests yet?  Results from those 
can point you at either real interests or close to real interests.

On Tue, 9 Mar 2021, Madison Martin via BlindTlk wrote:

> I've been trying to find a job but haven't had any luck yet. I'm not going to
> school again unless I find something that really peaks my interest.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Justin Williams via
> BlindTlk
> Sent: March 9, 2021 2:13 PM
> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Justin Williams <justin.williams2 at gmail.com>
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
>
> Are you in college yet, or moving on to a career?
>
> Justin
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Madison Martin
> via BlindTlk
> Sent: Tuesday, March 9, 2021 3:05 PM
> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: madisonmartin463 at gmail.com
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
>
> She's 14 and I'm 21. No they haven't and no she isn't. We've tried asking her to
> say the same thing nicely, but she hasn't listened so far. I don't think she has
> any mental health issues. We've never had the best relationship, but I'd say the
> last couple of years that it's been happening, this past year for sure.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Lauren Merryfield via
> BlindTlk
> Sent: March 9, 2021 1:17 PM
> To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Lauren Merryfield <lauren7877 at outlook.com>
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
>
> Hi Madison,
> My professional suggestions might be rusty, but here goes:
> Some random thoughts and questions to your family issues:
>
> First of all, you did not mention your blindness and your family's response to
> it.
>
> How old is your sister?
>
> You mentioned that she is six years older than you but her age is important.
>
>
> When and how long did she start doing this kind of behavior?
>
> Is there a reason your family has allowed this to go on?
>
> it certainly does sound like a self-esteem issue possibly for both of you or
> your entire family.
>
> Your family might consider the following points:
>
> retaliating would not help any of you at all.
>
> Disrespect toward, and abuse to your cats should not be allowed.
>
>  Ignoring the bullying behavior.
>
> Asking her what is hurting her
>
> Telling her you love her, no matter what she says
>
> Asking her if there is a different way she could say the same thing;
>
> asking her to do so might help.
>
> Your family  might need to engage in these types of behavior toward your sister
> repeatedly.
>
> It could be that your parents could also practice these ways of responding to
> your sister's rudeness.
>
> It sounds like she is hungry for attention, which, coming from the rest of your
> family,  needs to be positive but firm.
>
> Your parents could find out if she is being bullied at school.
>
> They could see if any staff members have observed her misbehaving in some way at
> school.
>
> Have your parents talked to any of the staff at the school?
>
> Has she seen the school counselor?
>
> Have your parents made sure that your sister is seeing the school counselor?
>
> If your sister is out of school, are any of these issues occurring at work or
> whatever she is engaged in currently?
>
> If she is still at home, could she get her own apartment?
>
> Respect, or lack thereof, in your family, seems to be an important term in these
> issues:
>
> self respect or lack of it
>
> disrespect for the rest of you, including the cats.
>
> Disrespect for her from the rest of your family could be bringing her down.
>
> One can dislike the behavior, but love the person.
> This is very important.
>
> Separating those two issues could be difficult for your family to accomplish.
>
> If she is still living with her parents, which it sounds like, then the parents
> need to be parents.
>
> Family dynamics are probably contributing to this behavioral issue.
>
> Possibly your parents could find a good family therapist who could help all of
> your family members.
>
> If she misbehaves in therapy, the therapist would notice.
>
> Is there a possibility of mental health issues?
>
> Could she be put on any medication that might calm her down or help with
> depression or any issues like that she may have?
>
> A psychiatrist might be able to figure that out.
>
> Someone who is untreated can have issues they don't totally have control of.
>
> .......
>
> Blessings,
> Lauren
>
> "What a power is love! It is the most wonderful, the greatest of all living
> powers. Love gives life to the lifeless. Love lights a flame in the heart that
> is cold.Love brings hope to the hopeless and gladdens the hearts of the
> sorrowful. In the world of existence there is indeed no greater power than the
> power of love." Abdu'l-Baha
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Jude DaShiell via
> BlindTlk
> Sent: Tuesday, March 9, 2021 10:07 AM
> To: Madison Martin via BlindTlk <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Jude DaShiell <jdashiel at panix.com>
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
>
> You're playing her game.  Indefinite ostracism is likely the only way to handle
> this problem child.
>
>
> On Tue, 9 Mar 2021, Madison Martin via BlindTlk wrote:
>
>> Hi all,
>> Sorry, but I just really need to get this all out, as it's really been
>> bothering me.
>>
>> First of all I should tell you that my sister and I are 6 years apart
>> and have never had the same interests so therefore our relationship
>> has never been that grate. Lately things have gotten worse though.
>> She's taken to bullying me. She tells me to shut up, says I'm annoying
>> and
> sensitive, none of which are true.
>> She also says that no one cares about my opinion. She also likes to
>> say, "are you dumb or you  stupid?" and "I'm not being rude I'm just
>> being honest," when in truth she is being rude and she knows full-well
>> that it is. I've tried giving her a taste of her own medicine (not as
>> rudely of course), but that didn't work as she just mocked me. She's
>> also become a real potty-mouth which drives us all nuts. We can't even
>> have a family meeting because she won't let the rest of us talk, she
>> just thinks that she's right and that we're the problem. She also does
>> this thing where she breathes in deeply holds it and then lets it out,
>> it sounds like she's having an assma attack or dying. She thinks it's
>> cool, but really it just sounds absolutely horrible and is extremely
>> annoying. She also loves to bother our cats, especially our youngest
>> one Charlie, by blowing in their faces, touching their paws, chasing
>> them, and picking them up when they don't want to be held. Because of
>> this Charlie gets very defensive when we pet him or try and move him
>> and he's also not as affectionate as he might have been. Also, Rosie
>> our middle cat is very skittish and gets scared so easily, it's sad. I
>> think she feels that she doesn't get treated fairly and that I never
>> get punished for anything which isn't true at all. She also feels like
>> we don't listen to her which isn't true at all, we do, she just isn't
>> always
> right. She also calls us loosers, and criticizes me or at least questions me
> about just about everything that I either do or don't do.
>> She seems to have a tendency to not remember things how they actually
>> happened and stretch the truth, and she also lies.
>> She's not very empathetic, Mom and Dad have to make her apologize for
>> being mean to me, and she never sounds sincere. She also has
>> self-esteem issues, she thinks she's ugly when she really isn't. I
>> worry that she's being bullied at school, and is therefor lashing out.
>> Mom has asked her, but she's said no, but as I said she's been known
>> to lie. I also worry about how her and her friends treat each other,
>> some of them aren't the nicest people. She just has an all-around
>> crappy attitude. Dad and I have talked about going to therapy and
>> she'd be the main topic which would be fine, but I worry that a
>> therapist might not be able to help us/her, especially since I know
>> she wouldn't listen/talk to them she'd probably just say that we're
>> the problem. Anyway, I know that you  can't do anything, but I just
>> really needed to get this all out, as I'm really getting very fed up
>> with her and living with someone who treats me and Mom and Dad the way
>> she does. If you read this far then thanks for reading, Madison
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
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