[BlindTlk] vent about my sister

Wed Mar 10 20:33:20 UTC 2021

I'm a home-body, I'd rather stay home and watch TV then go for a walk. Also I
get driven everywhere.

-----Original Message-----
From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Peggy via BlindTlk
Sent: March 10, 2021 2:29 PM
To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Cc: Peggy <nocyou at aol.com>
Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister

What sort of life style do you have? A dog may give you the confidence that you
need to get out. Even if that just means getting out for walks in your
neighborhood or going to a local store or restaurant.

Peggy & Dixie Marie

Sent from my iPhone

> On Mar 10, 2021, at 10:21 AM, Madison Martin via BlindTlk
<blindtlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> I'm not sure my lifestyle is suitable for a guide dog. I still really 
> want to be a groomer, but not sure I'll be able to get the hands-on 
> training that I need as none of the grooming schools are willing to 
> take me and none of the groomers around hear think that I can do it.
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Peggy via 
> BlindTlk
> Sent: March 9, 2021 11:14 PM
> To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Peggy <nocyou at aol.com>
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
> 
> Madison, thought you wanted to be a groomer and also get a guide dog?
> Peggy & Dixie Marie
> 
> Sent from my iPhone
> 
>> On Mar 9, 2021, at 3:17 PM, Madison Martin via BlindTlk 
>> <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> wrote:
>> 
>> I've been trying to find a job but haven't had any luck yet. I'm not going to
>> school again unless I find something that really peaks my interest.   
>> 
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Justin 
>> Williams via BlindTlk
>> Sent: March 9, 2021 2:13 PM
>> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>> Cc: Justin Williams <justin.williams2 at gmail.com>
>> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
>> 
>> Are you in college yet, or moving on to a career?
>> 
>> Justin
>> 
>> 
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: BlindTlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of 
>> Madison Martin via BlindTlk
>> Sent: Tuesday, March 9, 2021 3:05 PM
>> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>> Cc: madisonmartin463 at gmail.com
>> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
>> 
>> She's 14 and I'm 21. No they haven't and no she isn't. We've tried 
>> asking her to say the same thing nicely, but she hasn't listened so 
>> far. I don't think she has any mental health issues. We've never had 
>> the best relationship, but I'd say the last couple of years that it's 
>> been
> happening, this past year for sure.
>> 
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Lauren 
>> Merryfield via BlindTlk
>> Sent: March 9, 2021 1:17 PM
>> To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>> Cc: Lauren Merryfield <lauren7877 at outlook.com>
>> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
>> 
>> Hi Madison,
>> My professional suggestions might be rusty, but here goes:
>> Some random thoughts and questions to your family issues:
>> 
>> First of all, you did not mention your blindness and your family's 
>> response to it.
>> 
>> How old is your sister? 
>> 
>> You mentioned that she is six years older than you but her age is important.
>> 
>> 
>> When and how long did she start doing this kind of behavior?
>> 
>> Is there a reason your family has allowed this to go on?
>> 
>> it certainly does sound like a self-esteem issue possibly for both of 
>> you or your entire family.
>> 
>> Your family might consider the following points:
>> 
>> retaliating would not help any of you at all.
>> 
>> Disrespect toward, and abuse to your cats should not be allowed.
>> 
>> Ignoring the bullying behavior.
>> 
>> Asking her what is hurting her
>> 
>> Telling her you love her, no matter what she says
>> 
>> Asking her if there is a different way she could say the same thing;
>> 
>> asking her to do so might help.
>> 
>> Your family  might need to engage in these types of behavior toward 
>> your sister repeatedly.
>> 
>> It could be that your parents could also practice these ways of 
>> responding to your sister's rudeness.
>> 
>> It sounds like she is hungry for attention, which, coming from the 
>> rest of your family,  needs to be positive but firm.
>> 
>> Your parents could find out if she is being bullied at school.
>> 
>> They could see if any staff members have observed her misbehaving in 
>> some way at school.
>> 
>> Have your parents talked to any of the staff at the school?
>> 
>> Has she seen the school counselor?
>> 
>> Have your parents made sure that your sister is seeing the school counselor?
>> 
>> If your sister is out of school, are any of these issues occurring at 
>> work or whatever she is engaged in currently?
>> 
>> If she is still at home, could she get her own apartment? 
>> 
>> Respect, or lack thereof, in your family, seems to be an important 
>> term in these
>> issues:
>> 
>> self respect or lack of it
>> 
>> disrespect for the rest of you, including the cats.
>> 
>> Disrespect for her from the rest of your family could be bringing her down.
>> 
>> One can dislike the behavior, but love the person. 
>> This is very important.
>> 
>> Separating those two issues could be difficult for your family to accomplish.

>> 
>> If she is still living with her parents, which it sounds like, then 
>> the parents need to be parents.
>> 
>> Family dynamics are probably contributing to this behavioral issue. 
>> 
>> Possibly your parents could find a good family therapist who could 
>> help all of your family members.
>> 
>> If she misbehaves in therapy, the therapist would notice. 
>> 
>> Is there a possibility of mental health issues?
>> 
>> Could she be put on any medication that might calm her down or help 
>> with depression or any issues like that she may have?
>> 
>> A psychiatrist might be able to figure that out.
>> 
>> Someone who is untreated can have issues they don't totally have control of.
>> 
>> .......
>> 
>> Blessings,
>> Lauren
>> 
>> "What a power is love! It is the most wonderful, the greatest of all 
>> living powers. Love gives life to the lifeless. Love lights a flame 
>> in the heart that is cold.Love brings hope to the hopeless and 
>> gladdens the hearts of the sorrowful. In the world of existence there 
>> is indeed no greater power than the power of love." Abdu'l-Baha
>> 
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Jude 
>> DaShiell via BlindTlk
>> Sent: Tuesday, March 9, 2021 10:07 AM
>> To: Madison Martin via BlindTlk <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>> Cc: Jude DaShiell <jdashiel at panix.com>
>> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
>> 
>> You're playing her game.  Indefinite ostracism is likely the only way 
>> to handle this problem child.
>> 
>> 
>>> On Tue, 9 Mar 2021, Madison Martin via BlindTlk wrote:
>>> 
>>> Hi all,
>>> Sorry, but I just really need to get this all out, as it's really 
>>> been bothering me.
>>> 
>>> First of all I should tell you that my sister and I are 6 years 
>>> apart and have never had the same interests so therefore our 
>>> relationship has never been that grate. Lately things have gotten worse
though.
>>> She's taken to bullying me. She tells me to shut up, says I'm 
>>> annoying and
>> sensitive, none of which are true.
>>> She also says that no one cares about my opinion. She also likes to 
>>> say, "are you dumb or you  stupid?" and "I'm not being rude I'm just 
>>> being honest," when in truth she is being rude and she knows 
>>> full-well that it is. I've tried giving her a taste of her own 
>>> medicine (not as rudely of course), but that didn't work as she just 
>>> mocked me. She's also become a real potty-mouth which drives us all 
>>> nuts. We can't even have a family meeting because she won't let the 
>>> rest of us talk, she just thinks that she's right and that we're the 
>>> problem. She also does this thing where she breathes in deeply holds 
>>> it and then lets it out, it sounds like she's having an assma attack 
>>> or dying. She thinks it's cool, but really it just sounds absolutely 
>>> horrible and is extremely annoying. She also loves to bother our 
>>> cats, especially our youngest one Charlie, by blowing in their 
>>> faces, touching their paws, chasing them, and picking them up when 
>>> they don't want to be held. Because of this Charlie gets very 
>>> defensive when we pet him or try and move him and he's also not as 
>>> affectionate as he might have been. Also, Rosie our middle cat is 
>>> very skittish and gets scared so easily, it's sad. I think she feels 
>>> that she doesn't get treated fairly and that I never get punished 
>>> for anything which isn't true at all. She also feels like we don't 
>>> listen to her which isn't true at all, we do, she just isn't always
>> right. She also calls us loosers, and criticizes me or at least 
>> questions me about just about everything that I either do or don't do.
>>> She seems to have a tendency to not remember things how they 
>>> actually happened and stretch the truth, and she also lies.
>>> She's not very empathetic, Mom and Dad have to make her apologize 
>>> for being mean to me, and she never sounds sincere. She also has 
>>> self-esteem issues, she thinks she's ugly when she really isn't. I 
>>> worry that she's being bullied at school, and is therefor lashing out.
>>> Mom has asked her, but she's said no, but as I said she's been known 
>>> to lie. I also worry about how her and her friends treat each other, 
>>> some of them aren't the nicest people. She just has an all-around 
>>> crappy attitude. Dad and I have talked about going to therapy and 
>>> she'd be the main topic which would be fine, but I worry that a 
>>> therapist might not be able to help us/her, especially since I know 
>>> she wouldn't listen/talk to them she'd probably just say that we're 
>>> the problem. Anyway, I know that you  can't do anything, but I just 
>>> really needed to get this all out, as I'm really getting very fed up 
>>> with her and living with someone who treats me and Mom and Dad the 
>>> way she does. If you read this far then thanks for reading, Madison
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> _______________________________________________
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>> 
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