[BlindTlk] [BlTlk] [BlTlk] [BlTlk] vent about my sister

Thu Mar 11 16:25:13 UTC 2021

What a kind and giving note. It raises my spirits to read this Ericka. This is what I like so much about having caring friends who value me, even when they don't yet know me.

-----Original Message-----
From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Ericka via BlindTlk
Sent: Wednesday, March 10, 2021 4:12 PM
To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Cc: Ericka <dotwriter1 at gmail.com>
Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] [BlTlk] [BlTlk] [BlTlk] vent about my sister

Hi all! I’ve tried really hard to not chime in but I have to back up Judy and Steve on this.

I’ve read some of your later posts and I’m glad you like animals and you know that. If you call a shelter or a cat rescue place and say you just want to spend time with the animals socializing them and cleaning out litter boxes or whatever they generally are willing to let you come. Yes you might need some Owen M help but it’s good because you’ll need to have that skill to ask for help when you are starting a job. Just I want to remind you goes for people with low vision not just people who are totally blind. I’ve always tried to go before hand and scope out the place either with a friend or a colleague I love animals too and though I have a little usable vision I wouldn’t be able to read anything with print but I’d be able to recognize the animals and talk to consumers. I’ve actually considered doing something like this myself since right now I’m on employed.

I know I had more to say as encouragement but it’s just left my brain. I’m glad you’re young and you like computers because that’s some thing I’m not anymore. There’s lots of things I would’ve done differently and I hope that you find just one thing a day to bolster your confidence. I don’t want you in a nursing home. I’ve worked there and activities and it’s not a place somebody in their 20s should be! I love history too much so I appreciate the seniors. That’s how I got hooked into the field. But doing that for a good 20 or so years on and off I’m kind of burnt out and would like to do something different. The trend nowadays is to do more than one kind of job in your lifetime. Could you take an online class since you like computers just to get the feel for how a tech school or some continuing education would work for you? Here in the states they have two year colleges where they teach more the practical skills Focus rather than the philosophical for your college. Taking a few classes might help you better decide what you’re more interested in. We have several divisions here in the states and I am certain that Canadian equivalence. First haps they have a horses division or horticulture or something that’s to your liking. When I was your age all I really knew was that I wanted to help people and I couldn’t have a stationary job because I had trouble sitting down all the time. I’m still trying to sort that one out. Don’t let anyone especially your family tell you that you can’t do anything for yourself or that you’ll never live independently. Be patient. Also remember we’re always continually renewing ourselves Weatherby education, personal skills orhobbies. I just took up knitting at 49 years old. Yes I could have learned when I was young but my mother didn’t know how, my grandmother hated it and I didn’t even find out she knew until I was in my 30s. I ended up learning from some friends and YouTube videos. Also I’ve got some great advice from the crafters division. 

Pretend you’re sighted and dream big!

Ericka Nelson

> On Mar 10, 2021, at 2:41 PM, Steve Jacobson via BlindTlk <blindtlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> Judy should not have to be the one to say all of the things that might be difficult to say.  Most of us who have managed to find jobs and live independently did it by sometimes doing things we didn't like and things that were hard to do.  Some of us may have had more luck than others, but there is truth to the saying that we make some of our own good luck.  It did not happen all at once for any of us.  
> 
> It happens by taking the little steps and gradually making those little steps be bigger.  It means that we don't just list what we are interested in, but we try to learn what jobs might fit those interests.  It means we figure out what skills we might need to do certain jobs and we investigate how we can best get those skills.  It means that we get up every morning and do the job we have even when we don't feel like getting up.  It means that sometimes we get real frustrated with our supervisors or bosses but also recognizing we have to play within the rules.  It means we cross streets even though it is scary at first.  It means we learn to cut our own meat even if it takes some of fun out of eating at first.  It means we learn enough about cooking so we could do for ourselves if nobody else is there to cook.  It means we clean up after ourselves, partly so we can do our part to clean, but also so we are aware of whether we're making a bigger mess than we thought we were making.  It means we keep track of our own clothes and wash and fold them at least some of the time.  It means that we care about our appearance even though we can't see ourselves in a mirror.  It means we try to take control of what we can and not spend a lot of time trying to control the behavior of others.  It means we find out for ourselves what other blind people can do rather than believing that something can't be done because someone who doesn't really know says so.  It means that we understand that there are things we can't do now but that we might be able to learn to do.
> 
> One has to set goals for oneself and have a plan to achieve those goals.  If one fails, figure out why and make adjustments.  Nobody succeeds all of the time but with careful thought and planning one should succeed most of the time.  
> 
> Most of us here in the United States are very aware of what is available to us within our area.  We don't know a lot about what is available in Canada, but over the years I've met people in Canada who have good jobs, so I know it can be done.  However, it isn't necessarily easy for any of us to succeed.  Knowing what services and training might be available is a start.
> 
> Best regards,
> 
> Steve Jacobson
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Judy Jones via BlindTlk
> Sent: Wednesday, March 10, 2021 2:11 PM
> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Judy Jones <sonshines59 at gmail.com>
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] [BlTlk] [BlTlk] [BlTlk] vent about my sister
> 
> Wow, nothing else to be done.
> 
> Definitely contact us with any other questions, or if anything else changes.  We're here to support one another.
> 
> Judy
> 
> 
> 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Madison Martin via BlindTlk
> Sent: Wednesday, March 10, 2021 11:43 AM
> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: madisonmartin463 at gmail.com
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] [BlTlk] [BlTlk] [BlTlk] vent about my sister
> 
> I'm interested in animals, sports and computers
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Judy Jones via BlindTlk
> Sent: March 10, 2021 1:37 PM
> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Judy Jones <sonshines59 at gmail.com>
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] [BlTlk] [BlTlk] [BlTlk] vent about my sister
> 
> Hi, Madison,
> 
> I don't blame you.  I think everyone on this list and anyone coming out of school would love their dream job without really having to work for it, but this isn't the real world.
> 
> If you want what you want and don't want to spread your wings for yourself to find out your potential, then you will always be a prisoner of your desires.  You may have other interests you don't even realize yet, until you explore the world outside your parents' home.  You owe it to yourself to find out.  You're at the right age to do this for yourself.  Don't lose the time window.
> 
> If you don't, next year at this time, you may still be writing into this list or any other, venting about your family.
> 
> However, if you do take steps of exploration, who knows what you will have accomplished?
> 
> What do you want to see yourself doing next year at this time, March 2022?  Venting on a list, or finding new interests and people to support you?
> 
> Judy
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Madison Martin via BlindTlk
> Sent: Wednesday, March 10, 2021 11:21 AM
> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: madisonmartin463 at gmail.com
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] [BlTlk] [BlTlk] [BlTlk] vent about my sister
> 
> Most of the local groomers already know who I am. If I can't do something that I enjoy then I'm not interested in working. I want to be happy, I'm so sick and tired of doing and learning about things that I don't enjoy or that won't be useful to me in my life.   
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Judy Jones via BlindTlk
> Sent: March 10, 2021 1:14 PM
> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Judy Jones <sonshines59 at gmail.com>
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] [BlTlk] [BlTlk] [BlTlk] vent about my sister
> 
> Hi, Madison,
> 
> That's not good enough.
> 
> You have to press through to get the info you want, you have to make contact, take referrals, put yourself out there, and continue networking with people and moving forward to figure out what you are going to do, and accepting wise counsel.
> 
> Being a dog groomer isn't going to make a house payment, but it can be a dream career as you figure out how you are going to pay the rent and the bills, as all adults do.  At your age, now is your golden chance to make things happen for yourself.
> 
> Judy
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Madison Martin via BlindTlk
> Sent: Wednesday, March 10, 2021 10:40 AM
> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: madisonmartin463 at gmail.com
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] [BlTlk] [BlTlk] [BlTlk] vent about my sister
> 
> I didn’t see much on the website that looked useful. 
> 
> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Judy Jones via BlindTlk
> Sent: March 10, 2021 4:43 AM
> To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Judy Jones <sonshines59 at gmail.com>
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] [BlTlk] [BlTlk] [BlTlk] vent about my sister
> 
> We can contact you privately with her info, and I put out a note last night.
> 
> 
> Judy
> sent from the Android BrailleSense Polaris
> 
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Madison Martin via BlindTlk
> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' 
> Date: Tuesday, March 09, 2021 08:07 PM
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] [BlTlk] [BlTlk] vent about my sister
> 
> At that point in time she wasn't really able to help me, but maybe she could now... 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk On Behalf Of Judy Jones via BlindTlk
> Sent: March 9, 2021 5:58 PM
> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' 
> Cc: Judy Jones
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] [BlTlk] [BlTlk] vent about my sister
> 
> Hi, Lauren,
> 
> She lives in Canada, and I referred her a couple years ago to Mary Ellen Gabias, but not sure where that went.
> 
> Madison, I'm sorry I don't know more about how Canada services for the blind works, but Mary Ellen would.
> 
> Judy
> 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk On Behalf Of Lauren Merryfield via BlindTlk
> Sent: Tuesday, March 9, 2021 2:27 PM
> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
> Cc: Lauren Merryfield
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] [BlTlk] [BlTlk] vent about my sister
> 
> Hi,
> Sorry. 
> 
> You can talk to your rehab center for the blind in your state and have them send you to one of our 3 NFB centers for the blind:
> BLIND (blind in new dimensions) in Minnesota The Colorado Center for the Blind, In Colorado (big surprise, hahaha) And the Louisiana Center for the Blind in Ruston, Louisiana. 
> Blessings,
> Lauren
> 
> "What a power is love! It is the most wonderful, the greatest of all living powers. Love gives life to the lifeless. Love lights a flame in the heart that is cold.Love brings hope to the hopeless and gladdens the hearts of the sorrowful. In the world of existence there is indeed no greater power than the power of love." Abdu'l-Baha
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk On Behalf Of Madison Martin via BlindTlk
> Sent: Tuesday, March 9, 2021 2:16 PM
> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' 
> Cc: madisonmartin463 at gmail.com <mailto:madisonmartin463 at gmail.com>
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] [BlTlk] [BlTlk] vent about my sister
> 
> I was talking about not having training centres, not my life.
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk On Behalf Of Lauren Merryfield via BlindTlk
> Sent: March 9, 2021 4:12 PM
> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
> Cc: Lauren Merryfield
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] [BlTlk] [BlTlk] vent about my sister
> 
> Hi, Madison,
> It sounds like you are giving your sister power over your life.
> 
> You said you couldn't change anything about your situation; people can always change something about their lives. You can make decisions. You can get help. You can enlist your parents to help.
> Blessings,
> Lauren
> 
> "What a power is love! It is the most wonderful, the greatest of all living powers. Love gives life to the lifeless. Love lights a flame in the heart that is cold.Love brings hope to the hopeless and gladdens the hearts of the sorrowful. In the world of existence there is indeed no greater power than the power of love." Abdu'l-Baha
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk On Behalf Of Madison Martin via BlindTlk
> Sent: Tuesday, March 9, 2021 2:08 PM
> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' 
> Cc: madisonmartin463 at gmail.com <mailto:madisonmartin463 at gmail.com>
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] [BlTlk] [BlTlk] vent about my sister
> 
> I can't change what we have around us. 
> 
> From: BlindTlk On Behalf Of Judy Jones via BlindTlk
> Sent: March 9, 2021 3:05 PM
> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
> Cc: Judy Jones
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] [BlTlk] [BlTlk] vent about my sister
> 
> But that's what you may need so don't stop until you can get what you need.
> 
> Call Mary Ellen Gabias with CFB for some good resources and referral.
> 
> 
> Judy
> sent from the Android BrailleSense Polaris
> 
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Madison Martin via BlindTlk
> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' 
> Date: Tuesday, March 09, 2021 12:27 PM
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] [BlTlk] vent about my sister
> 
> We don't have any such centers, people that come hear, but no training centers. 
> 
> From: BlindTlk On Behalf Of Judy Jones via BlindTlk
> Sent: March 9, 2021 12:40 PM
> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
> Cc: Judy Jones
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] [BlTlk] vent about my sister
> 
> Hi, Madison,
> 
> She is a younger sister, from what I remember.
> 
> Your parents need to lovingly help you out of the nest, however that works, talk to them about it. Get some vocation training if you need it, go to an orientation center if you need it, ask your folks to help you in your decision-making, but that it's time to fly from the nest.
> 
> 
> Judy
> sent from the Android BrailleSense Polaris
> 
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Ericka via BlindTlk
> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
> Date: Tuesday, March 09, 2021 10:10 AM
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
> 
> Could she be jealous of extra attention you might get because of your disability? I have a middle sister that was kind of like yours. I'm the oldest. I get along with the middle one sort of now but it's taken 30 years. I've always gotten along with my baby sister. I'm the only blind one in the family. Just a thought.
> 
> Ericka Nelson
> 
>> On Mar 9, 2021, at 11:54 AM, Madison Martin via BlindTlk wrote:
>> 
>> Hi all,
>> Sorry, but I just really need to get this all out, as it's really been 
>> bothering me.
>> 
>> First of all I should tell you that my sister and I are 6 years apart 
>> and have never had the same interests so therefore our relationship 
>> has never been that grate. Lately things have gotten worse though.
>> She's taken to bullying me. She tells me to shut up, says I'm annoying and sensitive, none of which are true.
>> She also says that no one cares about my opinion. She also likes to
>> say, "are you dumb or you stupid?" and "I'm not being rude I'm just 
>> being honest," when in truth she is being rude and she knows full-well
>> that it is. I've tried giving her a taste of her own medicine (not as 
>> rudely of course), but that didn't work as she just mocked me. She's 
>> also become a real potty-mouth which drives us all nuts. We can't even 
>> have a family meeting because she won't let the rest of us talk, she 
>> just thinks that she's right and that we're the problem. She also does 
>> this thing where she breathes in deeply holds it and then lets it out, 
>> it sounds like she's having an assma attack or dying. She thinks it's 
>> cool, but really it just sounds absolutely horrible and is extremely 
>> annoying. She also loves to bother our cats, especially our youngest 
>> one Charlie, by blowing in their faces, touching their paws, chasing 
>> them, and picking them up when they don't want to be held. Because of 
>> this Charlie gets very defensive when we pet him or try and move him 
>> and he's also not as affectionate as he might have been. Also, Rosie
>> our middle cat is very skittish and gets scared so easily, it's sad. I 
>> think she feels that she doesn't get treated fairly and that I never 
>> get punished for anything which isn't true at all. She also feels like 
>> we don't listen to her which isn't true at all, we do, she just isn't always right. She also calls us loosers, and criticizes me or at least questions me about just about everything that I either do or don't do.
>> She seems to have a tendency to not remember things how they actually 
>> happened and stretch the truth, and she also lies.
>> She's not very empathetic, Mom and Dad have to make her apologize for 
>> being mean to me, and she never sounds sincere. She also has 
>> self-esteem issues, she thinks she's ugly when she really isn't. I 
>> worry that she's being bullied at school, and is therefor lashing out.
>> Mom has asked her, but she's said no, but as I said she's been known 
>> to lie. I also worry about how her and her friends treat each other, 
>> some of them aren't the nicest people. She just has an all-around 
>> crappy attitude. Dad and I have talked about going to therapy and 
>> she'd be the main topic which would be fine, but I worry that a 
>> therapist might not be able to help us/her, especially since I know 
>> she wouldn't listen/talk to them she'd probably just say that we're 
>> the problem. Anyway, I know that you can't do anything, but I just 
>> really needed to get this all out, as I'm really getting very fed up 
>> with her and living with someone who treats me and Mom and Dad the way 
>> she does. If you read this far then thanks for reading, Madison
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
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