[BlindTlk] Getting out WAS Re: vent about my sister
Peggy
nocyou at aol.com
Thu Mar 11 23:28:17 UTC 2021
Madison, if you have para-transit or public transit, you are very lucky. At one time, everyone in the county where I live, was able to use para-transit even if we weren't eligible under the ADA. A few years ago, a different company took over and decided to go by regulations. So, since I have no fixed route busses within 3/4 miles from my home, I can no longer get service.
Peggy & Dixie Marie
Sent from my iPhone
> On Mar 10, 2021, at 9:03 PM, Ericka via BlindTlk <blindtlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>
> Madison I know all too well what it’s like to grow up in a rural area. My community had no public transportation and you still can’t get in and out of the community to a bigger city unless you’re riding with a paid driver or family. The reality is, as much as you love your family you have to bite the bullet and with their support move to a larger community. I was terrified, but I left at age 18 to go to college and survived. I had no mobility skills whatsoever! But I learned awfully quick how to ask questions and good ones to keep myself from getting lost and frustrated. You can do this too and some capacity. I know what it’s like to be Young, the only blind person in a community and not knowing where life was going to take me. But remember this, part of life is an adventure and we just have to go with the flow, learn to adapt and grow. Until you’re ready, we are here for you. But we can’t make you do what you need to do do some research, journal and will be here when you are ready. Truly you are not alone! I’m 49 years old and back in the 70s and 80s when I was going to school and planning out my life technology and a lot of things we take for granted just didn’t exist. Line people have been surviving and thriving without their parents for years. You can do it too! And by the way, my totally blind husband grew up on a farm, what a technical school, and works full-time. Live in a condo and unfortunately we don’t have children but we have lots of nieces and nephews and other family. Unfortunately right now we don’t have bus transportation because it’s not safe to cross the street to the bus stop from where we live. The traffic is too fast and there is no signal. We were working on getting an APS traffic signal up there but then the pandemic happened. We use Paratransit, Uber and sometimes family and friends or church members. He’s very glad that he moved out of the small rural community he lived in and came to the bigger cities. So am I. In bigger cities the attitude towards your abilities may be different than your rule area. Just because a couple of dog groomers don’t think you’re going to be able to do it doesn’t mean everyone’s opinions that way.
>
>
> Ericka Nelson
>
>> On Mar 10, 2021, at 7:16 PM, Alan Wheeler via BlindTlk <blindtlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>
>> Exactly! I know that for my fiancee Donna and myself, we'd give anything to get back the two bus lines that go up and down the street we live on. They were cut off as part of a service reduction caused by the pandemic. One of the main reasons is they both serve as a way to get to the nearest BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) station. We're sure they will eventually restore the service, but meanwhile, we wait, not always patiently.
>>
>> All of this is to say that yes, as blind people we do what we can do. Sadly, I have to agree that this young lady seems to be making excuses. Until the excuses stop, her life can't truly begin.
>>
>> Alan
>>
>>
>> "If you want to practice anything, practice knowing you can do whatever you set your complete mind to." Victor Wooten "The Music Lesson"
>>
>> My blog: http://doingitdeeper.blogspot.com/
>>
>> Sent from my iPad
>>
>>> On Mar 10, 2021, at 3:48 PM, Judy Jones via BlindTlk <blindtlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>>
>>> Yep, that's where all of us are, you either walk or get transit, and the occasional ride when you need one. The important thing is that you are doing life, and you are independent.
>>>
>>> Do you all remember the speech Kenneth Jernigan did, the Nature Of Independence. To his way of thinking, independence is getting where you want to go, when you want to go, and with the least amount of inconvenience to yourself and others.
>>>
>>> Judy
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Justin Williams via BlindTlk
>>> Sent: Wednesday, March 10, 2021 3:27 PM
>>> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>> Cc: Justin Williams <justin.williams2 at gmail.com>
>>> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
>>>
>>> I go 90 percent of the places eithe ron foot, or with uber and lyft.
>>>
>>> Oh I get rides when I can, but my life doesn't stop because someone is not there to drive me.
>>>
>>> Justin
>>>
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: BlindTlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of CHELA Robles via BlindTlk
>>> Sent: Wednesday, March 10, 2021 6:19 PM
>>> To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>> Cc: CHELA Robles <cdrobles693 at gmail.com>
>>> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
>>>
>>> Oh please Madison Shirley there's Uber or Lyft out there..., yes? It just sounds like you’re making excuse after excuse and we’re all trying to help you out here it’s been very difficult. See my other message in the other thread which pretty much sums it all up from my perspective. You can’t just sit back and expect people to do all the work or heavy lifting for you all the time. We all are in this together and we got to do our part to the best of our abilities this is how we lift each other up. With much encouragement your friend chela
>>>
>>> Sent from my iPhone
>>>
>>>>> On Mar 10, 2021, at 1:41 PM, Madison Martin via BlindTlk <blindtlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>>>
>>>> Then I won't go
>>>>
>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Alan Wheeler
>>>> via BlindTlk
>>>> Sent: March 10, 2021 3:37 PM
>>>> To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>> Cc: Alan Wheeler <blindsticks at gmail.com>
>>>> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
>>>>
>>>> What if no one is available to drive you? You cannot, realistically, depend on that your whole life, especially if you truly want a job.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> "If you want to practice anything, practice knowing you can do whatever you set your complete mind to." Victor Wooten "The Music Lesson"
>>>>
>>>> My blog: http://doingitdeeper.blogspot.com/
>>>>
>>>> Sent from my iPad
>>>>
>>>>>> On Mar 10, 2021, at 12:34 PM, Madison Martin via BlindTlk <blindtlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>> I'm a home-body, I'd rather stay home and watch TV then go for a
>>>>> walk. Also I get driven everywhere.
>>>>>
>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Peggy via
>>>>> BlindTlk
>>>>> Sent: March 10, 2021 2:29 PM
>>>>> To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>>> Cc: Peggy <nocyou at aol.com>
>>>>> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
>>>>>
>>>>> What sort of life style do you have? A dog may give you the
>>>>> confidence that you need to get out. Even if that just means getting
>>>>> out for walks in your neighborhood or going to a local store or restaurant.
>>>>>
>>>>> Peggy & Dixie Marie
>>>>>
>>>>> Sent from my iPhone
>>>>>
>>>>>>> On Mar 10, 2021, at 10:21 AM, Madison Martin via BlindTlk
>>>>>> <blindtlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I'm not sure my lifestyle is suitable for a guide dog. I still
>>>>>> really want to be a groomer, but not sure I'll be able to get the
>>>>>> hands-on training that I need as none of the grooming schools are
>>>>>> willing to take me and none of the groomers around hear think that I can do it.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>>> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Peggy via
>>>>>> BlindTlk
>>>>>> Sent: March 9, 2021 11:14 PM
>>>>>> To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>>>> Cc: Peggy <nocyou at aol.com>
>>>>>> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Madison, thought you wanted to be a groomer and also get a guide dog?
>>>>>> Peggy & Dixie Marie
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Sent from my iPhone
>>>>>>
>>>>>>> On Mar 9, 2021, at 3:17 PM, Madison Martin via BlindTlk
>>>>>>> <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> I've been trying to find a job but haven't had any luck yet. I'm not going to
>>>>>>> school again unless I find something that really peaks my interest.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>>>> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Justin
>>>>>>> Williams via BlindTlk
>>>>>>> Sent: March 9, 2021 2:13 PM
>>>>>>> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>>>>> Cc: Justin Williams <justin.williams2 at gmail.com>
>>>>>>> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Are you in college yet, or moving on to a career?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Justin
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>>>> From: BlindTlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of
>>>>>>> Madison Martin via BlindTlk
>>>>>>> Sent: Tuesday, March 9, 2021 3:05 PM
>>>>>>> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>>>>> Cc: madisonmartin463 at gmail.com
>>>>>>> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> She's 14 and I'm 21. No they haven't and no she isn't. We've tried
>>>>>>> asking her to say the same thing nicely, but she hasn't listened so
>>>>>>> far. I don't think she has any mental health issues. We've never
>>>>>>> had the best relationship, but I'd say the last couple of years
>>>>>>> that it's been
>>>>>> happening, this past year for sure.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>>>> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Lauren
>>>>>>> Merryfield via BlindTlk
>>>>>>> Sent: March 9, 2021 1:17 PM
>>>>>>> To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>>>>> Cc: Lauren Merryfield <lauren7877 at outlook.com>
>>>>>>> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Hi Madison,
>>>>>>> My professional suggestions might be rusty, but here goes:
>>>>>>> Some random thoughts and questions to your family issues:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> First of all, you did not mention your blindness and your family's
>>>>>>> response to it.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> How old is your sister?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> You mentioned that she is six years older than you but her age is important.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> When and how long did she start doing this kind of behavior?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Is there a reason your family has allowed this to go on?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> it certainly does sound like a self-esteem issue possibly for both
>>>>>>> of you or your entire family.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Your family might consider the following points:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> retaliating would not help any of you at all.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Disrespect toward, and abuse to your cats should not be allowed.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Ignoring the bullying behavior.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Asking her what is hurting her
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Telling her you love her, no matter what she says
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Asking her if there is a different way she could say the same
>>>>>>> thing;
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> asking her to do so might help.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Your family might need to engage in these types of behavior toward
>>>>>>> your sister repeatedly.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> It could be that your parents could also practice these ways of
>>>>>>> responding to your sister's rudeness.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> It sounds like she is hungry for attention, which, coming from the
>>>>>>> rest of your family, needs to be positive but firm.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Your parents could find out if she is being bullied at school.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> They could see if any staff members have observed her misbehaving
>>>>>>> in some way at school.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Have your parents talked to any of the staff at the school?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Has she seen the school counselor?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Have your parents made sure that your sister is seeing the school counselor?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> If your sister is out of school, are any of these issues occurring
>>>>>>> at work or whatever she is engaged in currently?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> If she is still at home, could she get her own apartment?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Respect, or lack thereof, in your family, seems to be an important
>>>>>>> term in these
>>>>>>> issues:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> self respect or lack of it
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> disrespect for the rest of you, including the cats.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Disrespect for her from the rest of your family could be bringing her down.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> One can dislike the behavior, but love the person.
>>>>>>> This is very important.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Separating those two issues could be difficult for your family to accomplish.
>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> If she is still living with her parents, which it sounds like, then
>>>>>>> the parents need to be parents.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Family dynamics are probably contributing to this behavioral issue.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Possibly your parents could find a good family therapist who could
>>>>>>> help all of your family members.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> If she misbehaves in therapy, the therapist would notice.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Is there a possibility of mental health issues?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Could she be put on any medication that might calm her down or help
>>>>>>> with depression or any issues like that she may have?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> A psychiatrist might be able to figure that out.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Someone who is untreated can have issues they don't totally have control of.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> .......
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Blessings,
>>>>>>> Lauren
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> "What a power is love! It is the most wonderful, the greatest of
>>>>>>> all living powers. Love gives life to the lifeless. Love lights a
>>>>>>> flame in the heart that is cold.Love brings hope to the hopeless
>>>>>>> and gladdens the hearts of the sorrowful. In the world of existence
>>>>>>> there is indeed no greater power than the power of love."
>>>>>>> Abdu'l-Baha
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>>>> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Jude
>>>>>>> DaShiell via BlindTlk
>>>>>>> Sent: Tuesday, March 9, 2021 10:07 AM
>>>>>>> To: Madison Martin via BlindTlk <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>>>>> Cc: Jude DaShiell <jdashiel at panix.com>
>>>>>>> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> You're playing her game. Indefinite ostracism is likely the only
>>>>>>> way to handle this problem child.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> On Tue, 9 Mar 2021, Madison Martin via BlindTlk wrote:
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> Hi all,
>>>>>>>>> Sorry, but I just really need to get this all out, as it's really
>>>>>>>>> been bothering me.
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> First of all I should tell you that my sister and I are 6 years
>>>>>>>>> apart and have never had the same interests so therefore our
>>>>>>>>> relationship has never been that grate. Lately things have gotten
>>>>>>>>> worse
>>>>>> though.
>>>>>>>>> She's taken to bullying me. She tells me to shut up, says I'm
>>>>>>>>> annoying and
>>>>>>>> sensitive, none of which are true.
>>>>>>>>> She also says that no one cares about my opinion. She also likes
>>>>>>>>> to say, "are you dumb or you stupid?" and "I'm not being rude
>>>>>>>>> I'm just being honest," when in truth she is being rude and she
>>>>>>>>> knows full-well that it is. I've tried giving her a taste of her
>>>>>>>>> own medicine (not as rudely of course), but that didn't work as
>>>>>>>>> she just mocked me. She's also become a real potty-mouth which
>>>>>>>>> drives us all nuts. We can't even have a family meeting because
>>>>>>>>> she won't let the rest of us talk, she just thinks that she's
>>>>>>>>> right and that we're the problem. She also does this thing where
>>>>>>>>> she breathes in deeply holds it and then lets it out, it sounds
>>>>>>>>> like she's having an assma attack or dying. She thinks it's cool,
>>>>>>>>> but really it just sounds absolutely horrible and is extremely
>>>>>>>>> annoying. She also loves to bother our cats, especially our
>>>>>>>>> youngest one Charlie, by blowing in their faces, touching their
>>>>>>>>> paws, chasing them, and picking them up when they don't want to
>>>>>>>>> be held. Because of this Charlie gets very defensive when we pet
>>>>>>>>> him or try and move him and he's also not as affectionate as he
>>>>>>>>> might have been. Also, Rosie our middle cat is very skittish and
>>>>>>>>> gets scared so easily, it's sad. I think she feels that she
>>>>>>>>> doesn't get treated fairly and that I never get punished for
>>>>>>>>> anything which isn't true at all. She also feels like we don't
>>>>>>>>> listen to her which isn't true at all, we do, she just isn't
>>>>>>>>> always
>>>>>>>> right. She also calls us loosers, and criticizes me or at least
>>>>>>>> questions me about just about everything that I either do or don't do.
>>>>>>>>> She seems to have a tendency to not remember things how they
>>>>>>>>> actually happened and stretch the truth, and she also lies.
>>>>>>>>> She's not very empathetic, Mom and Dad have to make her apologize
>>>>>>>>> for being mean to me, and she never sounds sincere. She also has
>>>>>>>>> self-esteem issues, she thinks she's ugly when she really isn't.
>>>>>>>>> I worry that she's being bullied at school, and is therefor lashing out.
>>>>>>>>> Mom has asked her, but she's said no, but as I said she's been
>>>>>>>>> known to lie. I also worry about how her and her friends treat
>>>>>>>>> each other, some of them aren't the nicest people. She just has
>>>>>>>>> an all-around crappy attitude. Dad and I have talked about going
>>>>>>>>> to therapy and she'd be the main topic which would be fine, but I
>>>>>>>>> worry that a therapist might not be able to help us/her,
>>>>>>>>> especially since I know she wouldn't listen/talk to them she'd
>>>>>>>>> probably just say that we're the problem. Anyway, I know that you
>>>>>>>>> can't do anything, but I just really needed to get this all out,
>>>>>>>>> as I'm really getting very fed up with her and living with
>>>>>>>>> someone who treats me and Mom and Dad the way she does. If you
>>>>>>>>> read this far then thanks for reading, Madison
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>>>>>> BlindTlk mailing list
>>>>>>>>> BlindTlk at nfbnet.org
>>>>>>>>> https://na01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fn
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>>>>>>>>> 7C
>>>>>>>>> %
>>>>>>>>> 7
>>>>>>>>> C
>>>>>>>>> b7fe875e88164f75370508d8e326426e%7C84df9e7fe9f640afb435aaaaaaaaaa
>>>>>>>>> aa
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>>>>>>>>> 7
>>>>>>>>> C
>>>>>>>>> 1%7C0%7C637509100766267703%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLj
>>>>>>>>> Aw
>>>>>>>>> M
>>>>>>>>> D
>>>>>>>>> A
>>>>>>>>> iLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C1000&sdata=
>>>>>>>>> FI
>>>>>>>>> D
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>>>>>>>>> .org%2Fmailman%2Foptions%2Fblindtlk_nfbnet.org%2Fjdashiel%2540panix.
>>>>>>>>> c
>>>>>>>>> o
>>>>>>>>> m&data=04%7C01%7C%7Cb7fe875e88164f75370508d8e326426e%7C84df9e
>>>>>>>>> 7f
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>>>>>>>>> Fp
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>>>>>>>>> sb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6
>>>>>>>>> Mn
>>>>>>>>> 0
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>>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>>>>> BlindTlk mailing list
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>>>>>>>> .org%2
>>>>>>>> Fmai
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>>>>>>>> 3705
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>>>>>>>> 07
>>>>>>>> 6
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>>>>>>>> 267703
>>>>>>>> %7CU
>>>>>>>> nknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6I
>>>>>>>> k1
>>>>>>>> h
>>>>>>>> a
>>>>>>>> WwiLCJ
>>>>>>>> XVCI
>>>>>>>> 6Mn0%3D%7C1000&sdata=FIDQudZcGbVD5hL2uZz%2BFQCIQa2rwAtKlknOv1K
>>>>>>>> Km
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>>>>>>>> p
>>>>>>>> ;
>>>>>>>> data=0
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>>>>>>>> 01%7C%7Cb7fe875e88164f75370508d8e326426e%7C84df9e7fe9f640afb435aaa
>>>>>>>> aa
>>>>>>>> a
>>>>>>>> a
>>>>>>>> aaaaa%
>>>>>>>> 7C1%
>>>>>>>> 7C0%7C637509100766267703%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwM
>>>>>>>> DA
>>>>>>>> i
>>>>>>>> L
>>>>>>>> CJQIjo
>>>>>>>> iV2l
>>>>>>>> uMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C1000&sdata=XxNfXJqgBPzaw
>>>>>>>> nl
>>>>>>>> C
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>>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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