[BlindTlk] {Spam?} RE: vent about my sister

Fri Mar 12 16:01:46 UTC 2021

I don't know if that would make any difference...

-----Original Message-----
From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Lauren Merryfield via
BlindTlk
Sent: March 11, 2021 4:34 PM
To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Cc: Lauren Merryfield <lauren7877 at outlook.com>
Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister

Do you have a blindness agency person or a Canadian NFB person who could help
you talk to the dog groomers near where you live? 
Lauren

"What a power is love! It is the most wonderful, the greatest of all living
powers. Love gives life to the lifeless. Love lights a flame in the heart that
is cold.Love brings hope to the hopeless and gladdens the hearts of the
sorrowful. In the world of existence there is indeed no greater power than the
power of love." Abdu'l-Baha

-----Original Message-----
From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Madison Martin via
BlindTlk
Sent: Wednesday, March 10, 2021 10:35 AM
To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Cc: madisonmartin463 at gmail.com
Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister

I believe I can, that's what makes it so frustrating. Dog grooming is the only
thing that interests me. 

-----Original Message-----
From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Judy Jones via
BlindTlk
Sent: March 10, 2021 12:21 PM
To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Cc: Judy Jones <sonshines59 at gmail.com>
Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister

Hi, Madison,

I understand that dilemma, so you will need to concentrate on taking steps to
get training or schooling to either learn the skills for grooming, or whatever
career you decide on, but will have to adopt a can-do attitude, even though you
may not know what else to do right yet.  You don't have to have the answers, but
you do need the drive to find them out and position yourself to leave the nest.
Nothing happens overnight, so taking steps should start now.

I don't know if there is anything more that can be said.

As soon as I get Mary Ellen's info, will be glad to send it to you.

Judy

-----Original Message-----
From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Madison Martin via
BlindTlk
Sent: Wednesday, March 10, 2021 7:21 AM
To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Cc: madisonmartin463 at gmail.com
Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister

I'm not sure my lifestyle is suitable for a guide dog. I still really want to be
a groomer, but not sure I'll be able to get the hands-on training that I need as
none of the grooming schools are willing to take me and none of the groomers
around hear think that I can do it.  

-----Original Message-----
From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Peggy via BlindTlk
Sent: March 9, 2021 11:14 PM
To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Cc: Peggy <nocyou at aol.com>
Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister

Madison, thought you wanted to be a groomer and also get a guide dog?
Peggy & Dixie Marie

Sent from my iPhone

> On Mar 9, 2021, at 3:17 PM, Madison Martin via BlindTlk 
> <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
wrote:
> 
> I've been trying to find a job but haven't had any luck yet. I'm not 
> going
to
> school again unless I find something that really peaks my interest.   
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Justin 
> Williams via BlindTlk
> Sent: March 9, 2021 2:13 PM
> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Justin Williams <justin.williams2 at gmail.com>
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
> 
> Are you in college yet, or moving on to a career?
> 
> Justin
> 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of 
> Madison Martin via BlindTlk
> Sent: Tuesday, March 9, 2021 3:05 PM
> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: madisonmartin463 at gmail.com
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
> 
> She's 14 and I'm 21. No they haven't and no she isn't. We've tried 
> asking her to say the same thing nicely, but she hasn't listened so 
> far. I don't think she has any mental health issues. We've never had 
> the best relationship, but I'd say the last couple of years that it's 
> been
happening, this past year for sure.
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Lauren 
> Merryfield via BlindTlk
> Sent: March 9, 2021 1:17 PM
> To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Lauren Merryfield <lauren7877 at outlook.com>
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
> 
> Hi Madison,
> My professional suggestions might be rusty, but here goes:
> Some random thoughts and questions to your family issues:
> 
> First of all, you did not mention your blindness and your family's 
> response to it.
> 
> How old is your sister? 
> 
> You mentioned that she is six years older than you but her age is
important.
> 
> 
> When and how long did she start doing this kind of behavior?
> 
> Is there a reason your family has allowed this to go on?
> 
> it certainly does sound like a self-esteem issue possibly for both of 
> you or your entire family.
> 
> Your family might consider the following points:
> 
> retaliating would not help any of you at all.
> 
> Disrespect toward, and abuse to your cats should not be allowed.
> 
>  Ignoring the bullying behavior.
> 
> Asking her what is hurting her
> 
> Telling her you love her, no matter what she says
> 
> Asking her if there is a different way she could say the same thing;
> 
> asking her to do so might help.
> 
> Your family  might need to engage in these types of behavior toward 
> your sister repeatedly.
> 
> It could be that your parents could also practice these ways of 
> responding to your sister's rudeness.
> 
> It sounds like she is hungry for attention, which, coming from the 
> rest of your family,  needs to be positive but firm.
> 
> Your parents could find out if she is being bullied at school.
> 
> They could see if any staff members have observed her misbehaving in 
> some way at school.
> 
> Have your parents talked to any of the staff at the school?
> 
> Has she seen the school counselor?
> 
> Have your parents made sure that your sister is seeing the school
counselor?
> 
> If your sister is out of school, are any of these issues occurring at 
> work or whatever she is engaged in currently?
> 
> If she is still at home, could she get her own apartment? 
> 
> Respect, or lack thereof, in your family, seems to be an important 
> term in these
> issues:
> 
> self respect or lack of it
> 
> disrespect for the rest of you, including the cats.
> 
> Disrespect for her from the rest of your family could be bringing her
down.
> 
> One can dislike the behavior, but love the person. 
> This is very important.
> 
> Separating those two issues could be difficult for your family to
accomplish. 
> 
> If she is still living with her parents, which it sounds like, then 
> the parents need to be parents.
> 
> Family dynamics are probably contributing to this behavioral issue. 
> 
> Possibly your parents could find a good family therapist who could 
> help all of your family members.
> 
> If she misbehaves in therapy, the therapist would notice. 
> 
> Is there a possibility of mental health issues?
> 
> Could she be put on any medication that might calm her down or help 
> with depression or any issues like that she may have?
> 
> A psychiatrist might be able to figure that out.
> 
> Someone who is untreated can have issues they don't totally have 
> control
of.
> 
> .......
> 
> Blessings,
> Lauren
> 
> "What a power is love! It is the most wonderful, the greatest of all 
> living powers. Love gives life to the lifeless. Love lights a flame in 
> the heart that is cold.Love brings hope to the hopeless and gladdens 
> the hearts of the sorrowful. In the world of existence there is indeed 
> no greater power than the power of love." Abdu'l-Baha
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Jude 
> DaShiell via BlindTlk
> Sent: Tuesday, March 9, 2021 10:07 AM
> To: Madison Martin via BlindTlk <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Jude DaShiell <jdashiel at panix.com>
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
> 
> You're playing her game.  Indefinite ostracism is likely the only way 
> to handle this problem child.
> 
> 
>> On Tue, 9 Mar 2021, Madison Martin via BlindTlk wrote:
>> 
>> Hi all,
>> Sorry, but I just really need to get this all out, as it's really 
>> been bothering me.
>> 
>> First of all I should tell you that my sister and I are 6 years apart 
>> and have never had the same interests so therefore our relationship 
>> has never been that grate. Lately things have gotten worse though.
>> She's taken to bullying me. She tells me to shut up, says I'm 
>> annoying and
> sensitive, none of which are true.
>> She also says that no one cares about my opinion. She also likes to 
>> say, "are you dumb or you  stupid?" and "I'm not being rude I'm just 
>> being honest," when in truth she is being rude and she knows 
>> full-well that it is. I've tried giving her a taste of her own 
>> medicine (not as rudely of course), but that didn't work as she just 
>> mocked me. She's also become a real potty-mouth which drives us all 
>> nuts. We can't even have a family meeting because she won't let the 
>> rest of us talk, she just thinks that she's right and that we're the 
>> problem. She also does this thing where she breathes in deeply holds 
>> it and then lets it out, it sounds like she's having an assma attack 
>> or dying. She thinks it's cool, but really it just sounds absolutely 
>> horrible and is extremely annoying. She also loves to bother our 
>> cats, especially our youngest one Charlie, by blowing in their faces, 
>> touching their paws, chasing them, and picking them up when they 
>> don't want to be held. Because of this Charlie gets very defensive 
>> when we pet him or try and move him and he's also not as affectionate 
>> as he might have been. Also, Rosie our middle cat is very skittish 
>> and gets scared so easily, it's sad. I think she feels that she 
>> doesn't get treated fairly and that I never get punished for anything 
>> which isn't true at all. She also feels like we don't listen to her 
>> which isn't true at all, we do, she just isn't always
> right. She also calls us loosers, and criticizes me or at least 
> questions me about just about everything that I either do or don't do.
>> She seems to have a tendency to not remember things how they actually 
>> happened and stretch the truth, and she also lies.
>> She's not very empathetic, Mom and Dad have to make her apologize for 
>> being mean to me, and she never sounds sincere. She also has 
>> self-esteem issues, she thinks she's ugly when she really isn't. I 
>> worry that she's being bullied at school, and is therefor lashing out.
>> Mom has asked her, but she's said no, but as I said she's been known 
>> to lie. I also worry about how her and her friends treat each other, 
>> some of them aren't the nicest people. She just has an all-around 
>> crappy attitude. Dad and I have talked about going to therapy and 
>> she'd be the main topic which would be fine, but I worry that a 
>> therapist might not be able to help us/her, especially since I know 
>> she wouldn't listen/talk to them she'd probably just say that we're 
>> the problem. Anyway, I know that you  can't do anything, but I just 
>> really needed to get this all out, as I'm really getting very fed up 
>> with her and living with someone who treats me and Mom and Dad the 
>> way she does. If you read this far then thanks for reading, Madison
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> _______________________________________________
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