[BlindTlk] Questions About Online Dating as a Blind Person

[ahmat djouma]

Hello all,
ACB holds a discussion each Friday regarding this topic. I would recommend you check out the ACB community events.
Thanks.
Ahmat Adam Djouma
B.A Political Science: Public Law and Sociology
315-796-9263

-----Original Message-----
From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Raul Gallegos - NAGDU via BlindTlk
Sent: Friday, January 28, 2022 6:04 PM
To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Cc: Raul Gallegos - NAGDU <rgallegos at nagdu.org>
Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] Questions About Online Dating as a Blind Person

Hello Humberto ,

First off, this is a great question and I don't see why it wouldn't belong on this list. In any case, here is some perspective from me and my own experiences. Now, let me begin by saying that I am a bit rusty when it comes to dating when coming at it from the single person point of view. This is because I am happily married, and although my wife and I still treat each other many times like we are on a date and we have date night and all that, I know that wasn't the focus of your question.


First, when I have met someone from an online forum, I didn't disclose that I am blind. Not because I was trying to hide it but because it's not the first thing I think of when I think of my characteristics. For example, I might say in a dating profile, I am a man in my forties who likes Star Trek and many science fiction. I love reading fantasy books, and I love meeting new people. I'm looking for a woman in her forties, who is looking for someone to hang out with, make friends, and then we can see where this goes.


A side note, I hope my wife appreciates this when/if she reads this. 
*smile*.


So anyway, as you see, I didn't say that I am blind. Instead, I said what my hobbies are and what my gender and age is and what I'm looking for. Now, let's say that I start chatting with someone. I will take the conversation from there, getting to know the person. Do they like Star Trek like me, do they like any science fiction, do they like technology gadgets, ETC. Eventually, the topic about blindness will come up, whether by me, or by some comment that is made. For example, depending on her personality and how comfortable I feel with her, I might ask, have you ever met a blind person? Or, instead, I might ask, do you know anyone who is blind? Based on responses, the conversation can go in any direction. Whether this is right or not, this is how I've done it in the past and it's worked for me personally. I've met some very nice folks online and I've met some very shallow folks online. Some of the people I've met, nothing came from it, while others, have turned into a friendship and maybe even a relationship of sorts.


As for dating apps, I'm afraid that I can't help you there. I met my wife in person at a public gathering, so no dating apps were involved. 
For obvious reasons, I've not had any reason to look into them either, nor do I wish to unless someone, like a client of mine, wanted to get training on how to use one.


So, I hope this helps, and all I can say is, be yourself, and go with the flow on what feels right.


On 1/28/2022 3:53 PM, Humberto Avila via BlindTlk wrote:
> Hello Everybody.
>
> I hope everything is going well.
>
> First of all, you have been great at providing answers to my questions about living a normal life as a Blind person in a sighted world, and I thank you for that. My next curiosity is in regard to a topic many of us young folk (and some not that much) may part with in the course of their online and internet based life, online dating.
>
> So, has anyone done that successfully in the past, and how? Which mobile app have you used, such as Tinder, Match.com, ETC? Besides accessibility concerns, how confident are you to recommend doing this as a Blind person? How did you represent yourself with the best visual impression (such as profile pictures) and did you use an app to help with this task, or sighted assistance? How about the actual dating experience, whether it is virtually or in-person? Did you get rejected more times by a potential partner because of your blindness?
>
> I've read all best practices in general from what I've researched on the matter, but if anyone can point me in the direction of any blindness related literature, advice, and / or personal testimony, it would be greatly appreciated. And of course, if there are any other better-suited lists in which to post such questions, I would also appreciate it.
>
> Thanks much again. Hope the start to your weekend is fantastic.
>
> Best,
>
> Humberto
>
>
>
> “Be kind; for everyone you meet is fighting a really hard battle.” — πλατο
>
>
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-- 
Respectfully,
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