[blparent] new parents with some questions

Fri Nov 28 06:20:33 UTC 2008

For starters, I don't believe you should start him in school yet.  I think 
you should wait until you have the wetting under control.  he does this 
because no one ever taught  him that children of his age weren't suppose to. 
The kids in school will only tease him for wearing a diaper at this age. Get 
in touch with your pediatrician and he will advise you what is the best 
techniques for addressing this problem.  I also am blind.
2.  Try playing soothing music at bed and nap time.  I always play a CD 
called Dreaming for my daughter who is not blind.  I have been playing this 
same CD since she was very young.  Music calms the mind.  Since you don't 
know what happened to him in the orphanage, its hard to say, why he acts 
this way.  From his actions, it probably isn't something we want to 
experience.
I think you should definatly let him know that he should be laying down and 
if you have to lay down with him, do it for a while at least.
Most of all, give him time to get used to you.
Invite kids over to play.  Even if he doesn't join in, he can observe them 
playing.  If you don't know any kids, take him to a park or even McDonalds 
were there are kids playing and laughing.  He'll catch on.  Make sure he has 
special toys that he can call his own.
We'll pray for you and your new family! Veronica
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Jason Fayre" <jfayre at gmail.com>
To: <blparent at nfbnet.org>; <blindkid at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, November 27, 2008 2:47 PM
Subject: [blparent] new parents with some questions

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> Hello everyone,
> I am posting this to both the blind parents list and the parents of
> blind children list, so I apologize for the cross-post.
>
> I am blind.  My wife and I just returned from India with our adopted
> son.  He is 5 years old and was born without eyes.  Unfortunately, he
> was abandoned and lived in an orphanage for at least 3 years, maybe
> more.  So, we are looking at some fairly significant delays.  For
> example, he is currently not speaking at all.  He will mimic language,
> which is a good start though.  He is also still in diapers.  He will not
> indicate when he is wet.
>  In observing and interacting with him over the past 5-6 days, I do
> have some questions.  This is our first child, so some of these
> questions may be obvious to experienced parents:
>
> 1.  self-stimulation:  He is in motion almost constantly.  If he is
> standing up, he rocks side to side and back and forth.  If he is sitting
> down, he also rocks almost constantly.  Due to the lack of attention he
> received in the orphanage, he needs to rock himself to sleep at night.
> Does anyone have any ideas to help him overcome this?
>
> 2.  somewhat frantic or manic behavior at nap or bed times:  He has
> quite a bit of trouble getting to sleep during nap time or at bed time.
> He will attempt to fall asleep, and then begin laughing, rocking very
> vigerously and sometimes mouthing various objects.  This is all of the
> same self stimulation, but he seems to get much more agitated at sleep
> time.  The sad part is, due to neglect in the orphanage, he doesn't seem
> to respond at all to one of us holding him, or trying to comfort him.  I
> am honestly not sure how to handle this.  I don't want to just leave him
> in his room.  He will get up out of bed and start walking around.  Do I
> pick him up and put him back in his bed, or just let him work it out on
> his own.
>
>
> 3.  playing:  He does not seem to have much of a concept of toys.  He
> had one toy that he liked at the orphanage, which was a baby rattle.  We
> have lots of toys here for him, but I am not sure how to introduce the
> concept of playing to him.  Most of the time, he seems content to sit
> down and rock.  If you give him something to play with, he will most
> often throw it down.
>
> 4.  School:   I am not sure how to handle getting him into school.  As I
> mentioned earlier, he is 5, but acts more like a 1-2 year old.  I know
> he could benefit from the services in the public schools such as
> ocupational therapy and speech/language therapy.  I'm not sure weather
> to try and start some of that now, or wait until the fall.  I am not a
> huge fan of home schooling.
>
>
>
> I know I will have more questions, but thats it for now.  Any help would
> be greatly apreciated.  We're feeling a bit like a fish out of water at
> this point.
>
>
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