[blparent] it somces closer

Tue Dec 15 15:33:12 UTC 2009

I found working with a guide dog very difficult once I had my daughter.
It was fine before she could move, and then the older she got, the
harder it got. She and my dog were very close, too close in that she
would toss food on the floor, and my dog would eat it. Putting the dog
in a different room didn't work because she just wouldn't eat, the she
being my daughter. I found it very difficult to get both the baby and
dog ready and out the door in the morning, and myself too. It drove me
nuts adding the dog's needs into those of my daughter's. There were and
still are times when she only wanted Mommy, and so we'd be cuddling and
I'd think "the dog needs to do park time, when will we be done here".
The whole thing was stressful. 
To complicate things, my husband worked the swing shift, so often, it
was myself, my daughter and the dog alone. This doesn't sound bad,
except that there are many activities with a baby you can't stop like
batheing, eating, diaper changing, stuff like that. And sometimes these
activities take longer then others, making the schedule hard to
maintain. 
I would get real stressed when my daughter was not feeling well, and I
knew the dog needed to go out and work. 
I'd also get stressed when my daughter needed to go to bed and I knew
the dog could use some extra work and I'd have to be home because there
is nothing worse then a tired toddler. My husband wasn't home so it's
not like I could leave my daughter home by herself while I took the dog
out for some extra work. 
Also, I found that as my daughter got to walking, she likes to stop and
look at things and talk about them. This frustrated my dog, and I didn't
think it was fair to either hurry my daughter along, or make the dog
stop guiding so we could talk about a firetruck or an airplane flying
overhead or watch the big kids play ball. 
I also found that I didn't want to spend time brushing and basically
bonding with my dog after putting my daughter to bed. My mindset was
"Well, I've been with the dog at work all day, I don't want to spend
time with you at night". Not fair, I know, but it was what it was. 
Finally, we went through a period where my daughter had an ear infection
about once every two weeks. This earned her a set of ear tubes, but it
took awhile to get that sorted out. Adding a dog's medical needs as well
as my daughter's wore me out. 
I decided to retire my dog, and am glad I did. I can focus my energy
more fully on the human members of my family. 
I found that when my husband and I'd go out without our daughter, I
wouldn't enjoy working my dog because to me, the same skill set involved
in being  a parent is the same skill set involved with being a good dog
handler. This meant that I felt like I hadn't had any time with my
husband. 
Also too, I've found that people are more willing to assist when I'm out
with my daughter. I can remember wanting a high chair at I think
McDonald's and when I asked for one, the lady behind the counter was
like "Won't the dog get that for you". Um, no, she wouldn't. Ditto when
I needed to find an appropriate changing facility, people just expected
the dog to know where that stuff was. I even had someone think my dog
was supposed to calm my daughter down when she was having a huge red
zone tantrum. 
I have no idea how I'd wrestle a screaming biting toddler into her
carseat with a dog, you can't let go of the kid ina parking lot, and
letting go of the dog may or may not be a good idea depending on where
you are. 
What Eva says about not leaving a dog and baby alone together is true,
but it is also very difficult to manage a dog and young kid together if
you are the only adult involved. At least, this is my experience. 
UI'd be curious to know how and why others came to the conclution that
using a dog was something they wanted and/or needed to do. 
I'll also say,t hat my husband isn't really a dog person. I knew this
when I married him.
I'll also add that what pet dogs and guide dogs don't equate asa pet dog
isn't responsible for your safety. If the pet eats too much of the wrong
food, and you have a backyard, you can just put the pet outside. Not
such a good idea with a guide dog, or so is my opinion
Michael, your experience may differ being that you're a dad. Also, know
that you can work your dog as normal and if you find it isn't fun or
worthwile anymore, you can always retire the dog. I did and while it was
not easy emotionally, it was also the right choice for myself and my
family at the time I made it. 
My daughter and dog are still close. My parents have the dog, and last
time we visited, my mom wanted all the dogs to go outside. My daughter
said "Jersey doesn't want to go outside, Jersey wants to stay here." So
Jersey got to stay in the kitchen with the people. 
And, she still hangs out by my daughter who still feeds her when we go
visit. 

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
On Behalf Of Eileen Levin
Sent: Monday, December 14, 2009 7:36 PM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] it somces closer

Both my labradors were great with the kids. My first one didn't like to
play
with the kids but she was very tolerant any way. The dog I got when my
son
was two absolutely loves to play with the kids and gives my boys a run
for
their money wrestling with bones, playing fetch and so on.
Eileen

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
On
Behalf Of Babcock, Michael A.
Sent: Monday, December 14, 2009 10:36 AM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: [blparent] it somces closer

guys;
I went to an ultra sound last week, oh and let me tell you, that, was,
an
experience. I was amazed.
Second of all, i'm doing shopping for christmas gifts for my friends and
family right now and it made me think, wow, next christmas, my kid will
be
about 8 months old, that's scary as hell.
(pardon the language)
I'm excited but very scared also. I'm curious however, do you guys any
of
you, have guide dogs, and how are your dogs around babies? I ask because
mine, sheffield, i think will be ok. My soon to be wife's aunt's kid who
was
like a year and a half would pole his tail, and smile. Sheffield laid
there,
and i think he didn't get tired of it, but at one point he reached up
and
licked JR. in the face, this scared JR. and he ran away, but what do you
guys think is the best way to introduce a guide dog to a baby? I know
this
isn't a guide dog list, but i thought that that is a relevant question.
I
fear sheffield will be very very protective.
thanks a lot
Mike
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