[blparent] Help

Mon Jul 20 19:27:44 UTC 2009

I agree that nieces and nephews and cousins play such tricks upon us, but
usually not the children who live in your own house.  They should have more
respect for their parents and their parent's mates.  Regardless if that mate
is blind or sighted.  It makes me wonder what else is going on with this
child and why she feels the need to lash out at mom and boyfriend. V

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Pipi
Sent: Monday, July 20, 2009 11:24 AM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] Help

i've been away for over a week and am not all the way through my email yet, 
but i had one quick thought on this. at 6 years old, your daughter knows, or

at least should know better than to push out the screen and throw her toys 
out. she is a kid and no one is perfect, but i would personally take the 
toys away from her for a while. she obviously didn't want them too badly if 
she throws them outside.
just my thoughts.
oh and the doing things because your boyfriend can't see is a normal kid 
thing. my niece and nephew do it to me. your boyfriend needs to find 
different ways to know what she is doing, if that makes any sense. she will 
learn that although he can't see, he is still in charge and knows if i do 
something i'm not supposed to do, he'll know about it and there will be 
consequences. if he can't tell that the kids are doing things they aren't 
supposed to be doing, perhaps he needs to interact with them more?
----- Original Message ----- 
From: <kate02 at bellsouth.net>
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, July 15, 2009 12:22 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] Help

>
> I have been thinking more on this and was thinking about how much time you

> spend taking your Daughter out to do fun things with your boyfriend.
>
> I found with my oldest that if you take the outing away because of the bad

> behavior it stops faster.  I also found that if you plan extra fun things 
> in an attempt to create understanding in a way it just reinforces the bad 
> behavior because even though she tosses her toys out the window she will 
> still go and at six they learn that real fast.  Trust me take away TV or 
> cancel a fun trip because of bad behavior and you will have fast results.
>
> Hope this helps.
>
> Kate
>
> -------------- Original message ----------------------
> From: Mark Melonson <variant at pcdesk.net>
>>
>>
>> Jennifer,
>>
>> Keep your head up... From my "limitted" experience with this subject with

>> my
>> girls and younger cousins, it is usually just a matter of time before 
>> they
>> grow out of it. In my case, there were two reasons why my younger cousins
>> acted similarly when I was watchign them. 1) They thought that they could
>> get away with it, because I couldn't see them. 2) They thought that I was
>> treated as someone who was more "special" than them when around those who
>> they accepted as having authority over them (parents, grandparents, 
>> etc...)
>> In the case of the former, it may just be a matter of re-enforcing the 
>> idea
>> that, though he is blind, he is capable of finding out when she is
>> misbehaving and WILL do so. This was generally the case with my younger
>> cousins when I'd babysit them. Once they realized that they weren't going

>> to
>> get away with it, and that I was paying close attention and routinely 
>> caught
>> them, then it stopped, and one of them calls me Daredevil to this day. In
>> the case of the latter, It is not that simple. Time fixed that one, but 
>> it
>> took more than two years. This is quite common in children that age, 
>> though
>> I know that probably doesn't help much to hear.
>>
>> All the best,
>> -Mark
>>
>> Jennifer Massey writes:
>>
>> > lovely a few years huh.  I guess telling her when she feels like she is
>> > going to be bad to come talk to us won't work then.  sorry being 
>> > sarcastic a
>> > bit and fustrated.  Last week she pushed her screen out her window and
>> > started throwing her toys out of it.  we live in an apartment and the 
>> > rental
>> > office called him to let him know I was working a double.  last week I
>> > worked 63 hours, worked 4 double shifts and still having financial 
>> > issues
>> > and the kids just make me sooo fustrated when they do stuff like this 
>> > and
>> > then finally to find out why makes it even more fustrating when we 
>> > can't
>> > find a way to fix it.
>> >
>> > Jennifer and dustin
>> > ----- Original Message ----- 
>> > From: "The BlindTechs Network" <info at theblindtechsnetwork.com>
>> > To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> > Sent: Wednesday, July 15, 2009 1:26 AM
>> > Subject: Re: [blparent] Help
>> >
>> >
>> >> she'll grow out of this. I currently deal with this with my 8 and a 
>> >> half
>> >> year old daughter and I do everything humanly possible for her.
>> >>
>> >> it isn't an attention thing its a I'm a little kid and I got something

>> >> to
>> >> use to my advantage thing.
>> >>
>> >> give it time, like a couple of years time.
>> >>
>> >> The BlindTechs Network
>> >> www.theblindtechsnetwork.com
>> >> info at theblindtechsnetwork.com
>> >> 623-565-9357 (voice)
>> >> (206) 203-4400 (Fax Phone)
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >> On Jul 14, 2009, at 9:52 PM, Jennifer Massey wrote:
>> >>
>> >> My boyfriend has no vision but my children do. He watches them 2 or 3
>> >> days a week sometimes for more then 8 hours a day.  My daughter who 
>> >> will
>> >> be 6 soon told him today that she does the things that she does  that 
>> >> are
>> >> bad because he can't see her do them.  This hurt him very  much.  We 
>> >> are
>> >> not sure what to do at this point and any advice would  be helpful.  I
>> >> have tried spending extra time with her when I can and  giving her 
>> >> some
>> >> positive attention.  This week we have swimming which  we always do
>> >> together not only has a family but we each take some  individual time 
>> >> with
>> >> both of the kids, we also are taking both the  kids to a carnival on
>> >> friday and we are all going to the zoo on  saturday.  We really try to
>> >> spend as much time as we can with them in  the positive and not sure 
>> >> why
>> >> my daughter is lashing out so much  towards him in general.  When I am

>> >> at
>> >> home she doesn't do this and  when she is with her dad and his wife 
>> >> she
>> >> doesn't do it either.  Just  with him.
>> >>
>> >> Jennifer and Dustin
>> >> _______________________________________________
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>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
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>> >
>> > _______________________________________________
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