[blparent] Help

Mon Jul 20 21:01:17 UTC 2009

Oh, my husband's cousins used to play practical jokes on me because I am
blind.  They did it to be funny and I do have a good sense of humor.  I did
not know your niece and nephew were living with you, I thought only your
stepson.  Then Jo elizabeth, you better get on the ball and teach them a
thing or two.  Is this going to be permanent or are they just passing
through? V

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Pipi
Sent: Monday, July 20, 2009 2:48 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] Help

i only mentioned my niece and nephew, because they do live with me.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Veronica Smith" <madison_tewe at spinn.net>
To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, July 20, 2009 2:27 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] Help

>I agree that nieces and nephews and cousins play such tricks upon us, but
> usually not the children who live in your own house.  They should have 
> more
> respect for their parents and their parent's mates.  Regardless if that 
> mate
> is blind or sighted.  It makes me wonder what else is going on with this
> child and why she feels the need to lash out at mom and boyfriend. V
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Pipi
> Sent: Monday, July 20, 2009 11:24 AM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Help
>
> i've been away for over a week and am not all the way through my email 
> yet,
> but i had one quick thought on this. at 6 years old, your daughter knows, 
> or
>
> at least should know better than to push out the screen and throw her toys
> out. she is a kid and no one is perfect, but i would personally take the
> toys away from her for a while. she obviously didn't want them too badly 
> if
> she throws them outside.
> just my thoughts.
> oh and the doing things because your boyfriend can't see is a normal kid
> thing. my niece and nephew do it to me. your boyfriend needs to find
> different ways to know what she is doing, if that makes any sense. she 
> will
> learn that although he can't see, he is still in charge and knows if i do
> something i'm not supposed to do, he'll know about it and there will be
> consequences. if he can't tell that the kids are doing things they aren't
> supposed to be doing, perhaps he needs to interact with them more?
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: <kate02 at bellsouth.net>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Wednesday, July 15, 2009 12:22 PM
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Help
>
>
>>
>> I have been thinking more on this and was thinking about how much time 
>> you
>
>> spend taking your Daughter out to do fun things with your boyfriend.
>>
>> I found with my oldest that if you take the outing away because of the 
>> bad
>
>> behavior it stops faster.  I also found that if you plan extra fun things
>> in an attempt to create understanding in a way it just reinforces the bad
>> behavior because even though she tosses her toys out the window she will
>> still go and at six they learn that real fast.  Trust me take away TV or
>> cancel a fun trip because of bad behavior and you will have fast results.
>>
>> Hope this helps.
>>
>> Kate
>>
>> -------------- Original message ----------------------
>> From: Mark Melonson <variant at pcdesk.net>
>>>
>>>
>>> Jennifer,
>>>
>>> Keep your head up... From my "limitted" experience with this subject 
>>> with
>
>>> my
>>> girls and younger cousins, it is usually just a matter of time before
>>> they
>>> grow out of it. In my case, there were two reasons why my younger 
>>> cousins
>>> acted similarly when I was watchign them. 1) They thought that they 
>>> could
>>> get away with it, because I couldn't see them. 2) They thought that I 
>>> was
>>> treated as someone who was more "special" than them when around those 
>>> who
>>> they accepted as having authority over them (parents, grandparents,
>>> etc...)
>>> In the case of the former, it may just be a matter of re-enforcing the
>>> idea
>>> that, though he is blind, he is capable of finding out when she is
>>> misbehaving and WILL do so. This was generally the case with my younger
>>> cousins when I'd babysit them. Once they realized that they weren't 
>>> going
>
>>> to
>>> get away with it, and that I was paying close attention and routinely
>>> caught
>>> them, then it stopped, and one of them calls me Daredevil to this day. 
>>> In
>>> the case of the latter, It is not that simple. Time fixed that one, but
>>> it
>>> took more than two years. This is quite common in children that age,
>>> though
>>> I know that probably doesn't help much to hear.
>>>
>>> All the best,
>>> -Mark
>>>
>>> Jennifer Massey writes:
>>>
>>> > lovely a few years huh.  I guess telling her when she feels like she 
>>> > is
>>> > going to be bad to come talk to us won't work then.  sorry being
>>> > sarcastic a
>>> > bit and fustrated.  Last week she pushed her screen out her window and
>>> > started throwing her toys out of it.  we live in an apartment and the
>>> > rental
>>> > office called him to let him know I was working a double.  last week I
>>> > worked 63 hours, worked 4 double shifts and still having financial
>>> > issues
>>> > and the kids just make me sooo fustrated when they do stuff like this
>>> > and
>>> > then finally to find out why makes it even more fustrating when we
>>> > can't
>>> > find a way to fix it.
>>> >
>>> > Jennifer and dustin
>>> > ----- Original Message ----- 
>>> > From: "The BlindTechs Network" <info at theblindtechsnetwork.com>
>>> > To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>> > Sent: Wednesday, July 15, 2009 1:26 AM
>>> > Subject: Re: [blparent] Help
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >> she'll grow out of this. I currently deal with this with my 8 and a
>>> >> half
>>> >> year old daughter and I do everything humanly possible for her.
>>> >>
>>> >> it isn't an attention thing its a I'm a little kid and I got 
>>> >> something
>
>>> >> to
>>> >> use to my advantage thing.
>>> >>
>>> >> give it time, like a couple of years time.
>>> >>
>>> >> The BlindTechs Network
>>> >> www.theblindtechsnetwork.com
>>> >> info at theblindtechsnetwork.com
>>> >> 623-565-9357 (voice)
>>> >> (206) 203-4400 (Fax Phone)
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >> On Jul 14, 2009, at 9:52 PM, Jennifer Massey wrote:
>>> >>
>>> >> My boyfriend has no vision but my children do. He watches them 2 or 3
>>> >> days a week sometimes for more then 8 hours a day.  My daughter who
>>> >> will
>>> >> be 6 soon told him today that she does the things that she does  that
>>> >> are
>>> >> bad because he can't see her do them.  This hurt him very  much.  We
>>> >> are
>>> >> not sure what to do at this point and any advice would  be helpful. 
>>> >> I
>>> >> have tried spending extra time with her when I can and  giving her
>>> >> some
>>> >> positive attention.  This week we have swimming which  we always do
>>> >> together not only has a family but we each take some  individual time
>>> >> with
>>> >> both of the kids, we also are taking both the  kids to a carnival on
>>> >> friday and we are all going to the zoo on  saturday.  We really try 
>>> >> to
>>> >> spend as much time as we can with them in  the positive and not sure
>>> >> why
>>> >> my daughter is lashing out so much  towards him in general.  When I 
>>> >> am
>
>>> >> at
>>> >> home she doesn't do this and  when she is with her dad and his wife
>>> >> she
>>> >> doesn't do it either.  Just  with him.
>>> >>
>>> >> Jennifer and Dustin
>>> >> _______________________________________________
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>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
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>>> >
>>> >
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>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
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