[blparent] Help
Barbara Hammel
poetlori8 at msn.com
Tue Jul 21 03:32:39 UTC 2009
There is a fine line between a bribe and a reward. A bribe is if you do it,
a reward is when you do it.
All parents probably tend to use if you do it instead of when you do it. I
know I do. I think I just did it tonight when I told Paul if he eats his
rice then he can have bacon. I should have said when you eat it all. You
see, bacon is a breakfast food only but they've not been feeling well and
have not been eating. Before anyone should critize, since the meat is the
loved food, the other items must be eaten in order to get it. It's the only
way to get them to eat other stuff.
My new saying, "Autism, you got to love it."
Barbara
If wisdom's ways you wisely seek, five things observe with care: of whom
you speak, to whom you speak, and how and when and where.
--------------------------------------------------
From: "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at pcdesk.net>
Sent: Monday, July 20, 2009 8:40 PM
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] Help
> Gerald and I came up with a reward system for my stepson because he has
> been staying with us so much over the summer, and we wanted to find a way
> of motivating him to behave himself and help me out around the house while
> his dad was at work. We came up with the idea of giving him a letter
> grade for each day of the week that he was with us, and each grade was
> worth a certain amount of money at the end of each week. An A would earn
> $2.50, a B would earn $1.50, a C would earn $1.00, and a D would earn
> $.50. A failing day wouldn't earn anything at all. Some might think it
> is nothing but bribery, but the system has worked. Actually, the money
> hasn't turned out to be as important as I thought it would be. Stephen
> seems more interested in the grade he gets for each day. We talk about it
> in the evenings, what the grade is, why I've decided on that grade, what
> could have been improved, and what Stephen can do differently in the
> future. There have been good and bad days, but overall, I think the
> system has worked out better than not having one would have. It gets me
> thinking about the positive and negative happenings of each day as a
> whole, rather than just ranting and raving (to myself or aloud) about the
> frustration of the moment. At the same time, Stephen has something to
> work toward and also a structure that helps him judge his own behavior.
>
> Two bits worth of free advice, take it as it is intended.
>
> Jo Elizabeth
>
> "Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed
> until it is faced."--James Baldwin
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Eileen Levin" <eileenlevin at comcast.net>
> To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Monday, July 20, 2009 7:29 PM
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Help
>
>
>> Disobeying my original punishment means the punishment gets doubled. I
>> prefer to start with one day or 10 minutes so doubling and yes tripling
>> the
>> punishment doesn't mean he will be years older before he gets his
>> privileges
>> back. My son is six.
>>
>> Some kids actually do better with a reward system than a punishment
>> system.
>> Say they earn points for doing spefied tasks and those points earn some
>> kind
>> of treat over a specified period of time.
>> It's a lot more work to keep track of all that so we haven't tried it
>> here.
>> Eileen
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>> Behalf Of Amy Murillo-Hicks
>> Sent: Monday, July 20, 2009 7:54 PM
>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Help
>>
>> Another one to watch is the TV on mute when TV has been taken away. I
>> can
>> usually tell, but once he pulled it off when I was distracted and busy.
>>
>> My fiance at the time came in and innocently asked why is the TV on mute?
>> My son's logic was "I wasn't really watching it since I couldn't hear it.
>> I
>>
>> learned not to be so distracted, and he learned about lying.
>>
>> Just one of those things to look out for.
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Veronica Smith" <madison_tewe at spinn.net>
>> To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Monday, July 20, 2009 12:30 PM
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Help
>>
>>
>>>I can only remember one time when my husband came into the living room
>>>and
>>> Gab was promptly standing on our glass coffee table . I had just asked
>>> her
>>> what she was doing and she replied, sitting on the couch. Boy did mommy
>>> get
>>> mad and as far as we know, she has never done it again. V
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>> On
>>> Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
>>> Sent: Sunday, July 19, 2009 10:06 PM
>>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Help
>>>
>>> Even with my thirteen-year-old stepson, I can often hear what he is
>>> doing
>>> before his dad notices it by sight. I also tend to pay more attention
>>> to
>>> what the baby is doing, and will say to a sighted person, "Be careful.
>>> She's going to get into your purse," or whatever, before it happens.
>>> I'm
>>> not saying I'm perfect, or that my stepson or my little girl will never
>>> pull
>>>
>>> a fast one on me, but it's interesting to me that the two times my baby
>>> has
>>> fallen and gotten a scratch on her face, she's been under the watch of
>>> someone with working eyes.
>>>
>>> Jo Elizabeth
>>>
>>> "Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed
>>> until it is faced."--James Baldwin
>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>> From: "Leanne Merren" <leemer02 at gmail.com>
>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Saturday, July 18, 2009 5:03 PM
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Help
>>>
>>>
>>>> That is so true. They just know they have an advantage in that their
>>>> parents are blind. However, I amaze sighted parents when I know what
>>>> my
>>>> kids are doing in the other room, and they didn't notice anything was
>>>> going on. That's our advantage. *smile* We hear things that other
>>>> parents miss.
>>>> Leanne
>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>> From: Sean Paul
>>>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>>>> Sent: Saturday, July 18, 2009 4:21 PM
>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Help
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Your children are no different than any other children. They will
>>>> attempt
>>>
>>>> to
>>>> get away with whatever they can whether you are blind or not. Trust
>>>> me,
>>>> my
>>>> children attempt to get away with everything with my Ex-wife, and she
>>>> can
>>>> see just fine. And, yes? When they come to my house they do it here
>>>> also.
>>>
>>>> It
>>>> is just part of being a child. You did it, mine do it, and my newest
>>>> one
>>>> will do it.
>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>> From: "Veronica Smith" <madison_tewe at spinn.net>
>>>> To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>>> Sent: Saturday, July 18, 2009 15:20
>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Help
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> > And if you had a 2 story, you would get a baby monitor. Smile! V
>>>> >
>>>> > -----Original Message-----
>>>> > From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org
>>>> [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>>> On
>>>> > Behalf Of Eileen Levin
>>>> > Sent: Saturday, July 18, 2009 8:01 AM
>>>> > To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
>>>> > Subject: Re: [blparent] Help
>>>> >
>>>> > Ah, great idea. Kind of a pain but the supervision is a two way
>>>> street
>>>> > because it enforces the rules and the adults are spending more time
>>>> with
>>>> > the
>>>> > kids which gives children a sense of security and feeling cared
>>>> about.
>>>> > My husband and I complain about our small home but in a way having a
>>>> > single
>>>> > floor where I can hear everything that goes on is a blessing when it
>>>> isn't
>>>> > giving me a headache. :)
>>>> >
>>>> > Hang in there! Money worries and all the stress folks are under with
>>>> the
>>>> > economy being so weak can really make these growing pains feel so
>>>> much
>>>> > bigger than they truly are!
>>>> > Hugs,
>>>> > Eileen
>>>> >
>>>> > -----Original Message-----
>>>> > From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org
>>>> [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>>> On
>>>> > Behalf Of Jennifer Massey
>>>> > Sent: Friday, July 17, 2009 11:00 PM
>>>> > To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>>>> > Subject: Re: [blparent] Help
>>>> >
>>>> > yes we have sat down with her, I have sat down with her on my own as
>>>> well
>>>> > and get the same thing out of her that she is doing the bad things
>>>> when
>>>> > I'm
>>>> > not home because dustin can't see her do it. Well since the last
>>>> incident
>>>> > he has started to glue the kids to him to make sure they do not get
>>>> into
>>>> > trouble.
>>>> >
>>>> > Jennifer
>>>> >
>>>> >
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>> 18:29:00 do whatever his darling heart desires. :)
>>
>>
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>
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